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Open Poetry #11
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Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

0 posted 2001-01-06 11:49 AM


My first poem of the year and I hope y'll like imy new style as I've decided to update my style by making my rhyme cadence and schemes more intricate. Anyways, I hope y'll like the poem!


His life is miserable, unlivable,
unforgivable, and he has no peace,
no home, no friends, no food to eat,
and he's so unhealthy,
that it's a surprise,
that he still breaths.
Man if I was him, I would kill peace
and feed the need to bleed,
and slit my wrists, from unfulfilled needs
cause, hope just wouldn't be, instilled in me
and anyone who likes to live like this,
is just a plain silly willy,
as it's just what this bum must be,
cause, he's still alive and breathing,
picking up empty soda cans this evening,
and taking them to the recycling center,
hoping that he has enough for tonight's dinner
because he's as scrawny,
as that guy in that movie, "Thinner"
as he smells like raw sewage and fish,
as if he bathed in a filthy ditch,
wishing that he was filthy rich,
but he's just a crack addict,
with a seriously bad habbit,
as he sacrifices everything,
and leave nothing to be savaged
cause he's got to have it.
Everyday, I see him at the train stations
conversing with the Haitians and Jamaicans,
and asking pedestrians for money as they walk by,
while the cops give him the hawk's eye,
and harasses him to the point that he cries.
Sometimes I wanna talk to him but, I'm too shy
but everytime I look into his eyes,
I see all the sorrow inside,
and it makes me wanna cry,
epecially when people tease him,
when they walk by,
as you can feel his pain,
and see the tears in his eyes
as he seacrches through garbage cans,
looking for something to eat,
licking and picking on, chicken bones,
that's filled with flies or centipedes
cause, he's so hungry, that he's got to eat.
When he has no money for a soda to drink,
he goes inside restaurants,
and drinks out the toilets and sinks,
before the owners kick him out
for smelling too stink,
as he's back out on the streets,
walking with an aurora of invisibility,
as people nonchalantly, walk through him
leaving him to constantly, stare at his feet
as his life is so unworth,
that it makes his heart hurt,
as he rather eat dirt and leave earth
as life, just can't seem to get worse
cause, he's living, hell on earth!




Nathan

© Copyright 2001 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2001-01-06 12:30 PM


Nate,
observant poem, I've seen people like these, people who seem to be discarded by society, who get old before their time and you wonder why they don't die, but life is a strong driving force and it's hard to surrender even when life is pitiful.
Good write, this night.
Keth


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2001-01-06 01:14 PM


Pretty good description of hell on earth...James
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
3 posted 2001-01-06 02:10 PM


Man, you people always seem shed light on   something out my poems that I don't normally see cause Kethry, I honestly didn't see this like the way you see it and I love it anyways, thanks for responding.....you too Jimmy!

Peace!

Nathan

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-01-06 03:38 PM


Nate, my friend~
quote:
but he's just a crack addict,
with a seriously bad habbit,
as he sacrifices everything,
and leave nothing to be savaged
cause he's got to have it.


While my empathy lies with the homeless on the streets -
it just isn't extended to include 'crack addicts' ...

I interpreted the message of your write to be
admonishment of the chosen life one leads ...
No banquet tables are set for addicts,
as they CHOOSE their meal either injected or smoked.

A well-writen piece and I enjoyed the form.
As always, it's good to see you writing.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
5 posted 2001-01-06 04:00 PM


Nate.....
It is refreshing to see one who really "observes" the human race around him, even with their vices and lifestyles that most of us choose to ignore. Life isn't pretty for everybody, and it isn't always easy to look at. It is frightening to most, and we ignore it, because if we look too close it might influence our lives somehow.
I've been homeless......it is hell.
Good writing, my friend.


Write on!
-<--<--{(@



Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
6 posted 2001-01-06 04:17 PM


I have to agree with Marge...

but this is a powerful statement...and Extremely...Did I say extremely?  EXTREMELY well written...


I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
7 posted 2001-01-06 04:28 PM


*WOW*.....you are really a good observer...with a describtion of life...and I also agree with Marge.

great write my friend.

((hugs))
Charisma

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
8 posted 2001-01-06 04:45 PM


You're right Marge but I guess I have more sympathy for others(even crackheads) even if they are not right because, they are living life for Satan and not for God and that's why I feel sorry for them besides, even though they're wrong for using drugs, they're not the ones who smuggle them in our country...know do they? But I agree wholeheartedly Marge and I wanna thank you Magre and everyone else, who responded to my poem. (smiles)

Nathan

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