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Open Poetry #11
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-01-05 11:36 PM


Composite Changes

nothing if not
complex
and I use to be
such a simple thing

a correction awaiting
alteration
what a blush and
dimple would bring

an elaborate, multiple mix
just waiting to be fixed
and no one hears
the song I sing


oh yes
oh no
I've been
synthesized
waiting for the fuse
to blow

awaiting the critique
wishing for mystique
and
microscopic analysis
I think I need
an analyst

combine my compound
survey my inspection
hoping for some
retro-correction


simply awaiting revision
before a main decision

01.05.01




[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 01-06-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
1 posted 2001-01-05 11:45 PM


(chuckling here) This is great! Nailed it to the wall! And believe me dear friend, we all "hear the song you sing!".
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-01-06 06:30 AM


James...chuckles are good...{~,^} thanks!
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-01-06 06:49 AM


Wonderful blend of such a simple thing...blushing with dimples....no one listening to her sweet song...oh God please don't let the fuse blow...before the mystique is assesed by an analyst...and some retro-correction is complete before making a main decision to sing that sweet song once again.....Oh I'm so afraid that I might have understood this...THAT SCARES ME!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-01-06 06:58 AM


Ethome...not only are you reading AND listening, but reacting...how that pleases my heart!  Thank you!
Agust P
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 157

5 posted 2001-01-06 06:58 AM


I liked this one, very good poem, thanks AP
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