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Open Poetry #11
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-01-04 10:54 PM


Perfectly Undone Rainbow...(a repost I think)

I’ve been waiting
across this long day
as the keys glare
their silent letters

waiting for delicate
blue eggs
with thin transparent shells
to open some tender thought

I can hear this ticking
slowly savoring time drain
and have simmering fragrance
around me for reminiscence

The bullion bubbles
cascading with memory
but this draught still
seethes with hungering

So I press an asterisk
and see how an eight
is so conclusive and perfect
circling into itself

and I think that time
must be like that
with no beginning
to teach it how to end

a bubble has exploded somewhere
so quiet and absolute
from child-touched treasure
to a perfectly undone rainbow

Where does this matter
display its intent
and grace my alphabet
with a period?

  


[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 01-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-01-04 11:56 PM


and I think that time
must be like that
with no beginning
to teach it how to end

a bubble has exploded somewhere
so quiet and absolute
from child-touched treasure
to a perfectly undone rainbow

Where does this matter
display its intent
and grace my alphabet
with a period?
=====================

oh how I love the way your mind works ...
it all matters ... its all poetry baby  
awesome "coming undone" me sweet poet
this is such a cool write

"with no beginning
to teach it how to end"

yeah ... WAY cool
jm



Am I loved by my words
Will my vows weather the tide
Bended knees can forsee
all the rhythms of life
And a heart can be held without pride
~Vante

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2001-01-05 04:51 AM


Have to agree with JM I love how your mind works....beautiful thoughts, esp that conclusion! Reminded me of the Harry Chapin song 'All My Life's A Circle'...just great stuff sweet Martie...just great!
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-01-05 08:07 AM


Martie~
You're just WONDERFUL !

I love your crazy 888888888's !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2001-01-05 10:15 AM


Janet--thank you, my sweet poet friend, but you see the trouble was my mind wouldn't work and I was just fooling round wih the keys...LOL.

etheme--I do love circles!

Marge--I haven't played that for such a long time...thanks for the hug!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-01-05 10:26 AM


Martie,
Believe me your mind was working. Beautiful write. *L*

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2001-01-05 10:40 AM


I would favor the keys of eight reaching an octave in your mind.  This was a awesome way of tossing your thoughts to the wind and letting them mix together and coming back down to present themselves to us in such a splendid rendering.  Beautiful my friend.  But of course as I have said many times over, it is what we have come to KNOW we will receive from you.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-01-05 10:48 AM


Your imagery rocks!  I want to write like you when I grow up!
Quiet One
Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46
Shhhhh
8 posted 2001-01-05 11:18 AM


Enjoyed this very much
you have the touch

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2001-01-05 11:29 AM


waiting for delicate
blue eggs
with thin transparent shells
to open some tender thought

So I press an asterisk
and see how an eight
is so conclusive and perfect
circling into itself

and I think that time
must be like that
with no beginning
to teach it how to end

So many BEAUTIFUL lines here Martie..very beautiful thoughts...

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
10 posted 2001-01-05 01:38 PM


WOW Martie stunning poem, if I had to pick a favourite piece I would end up pasting the whole poem, I loved this one really loved it.  

It's in your eyes a fire that's wild and glorious
Unhibited, unfinished in everything I do Let the morning rise like our hearts desire" whipping boy

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2001-01-05 02:24 PM


Sy--You think so?  Thanks!

Mark--I always know when you reply...I'm in for a smile...thanks!

Karilea--and I want to write like YOU, when I grow up...or if I grow up  

Quiet One--Thank you very much...thanks for reading.

Wynter--thanks so much for such a sweet comment.

brian--I am very pleased that you "loved" my poem...thanks my Irish friend!

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2001-01-05 02:33 PM


I was gonna echo Sunshine...
But my "echo" has a whine *G*
Yammean you're simply playing
And wrote poetry this fine?
It's hard to give a compliment
When I have my tongue stuck out
I like this poem so dang much
I think I'll go and pout! *G*
ARGH!!!! LOL... I curtsey to your excellence, dear lady!!!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2001-01-05 03:47 PM


suthern--thanks, my dear, for giving me such a chuckle...I can't you picture pouting with your toungue stuck out...how do you do that?  I'm glad you liked this verse!
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
14 posted 2001-01-05 03:50 PM


Ah, Martie... I'm an expert at few things... but those include all forms of pouting! LOL.

I did enjoy... very much! *S*

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
15 posted 2001-01-05 04:35 PM


Ah Martie - from what wondrous place/resevoir do you draw your imaginative words and phrases? - I'd give most anything to know - I do believe to spend a few hours with you in your creative workshop would be worth millions - This is fabulous
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2001-01-05 04:49 PM


Martie, I remember this for the unforgettable Stanza #6. I don't have an adjective left to describe your poetry or your mind, but your expression is so creative and unique. You see the world in rainbow bubbles and punctuated alphabets. You are wonderful!
Liz

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

17 posted 2001-01-05 06:55 PM


Martie,

You have outdone yourself with this one.  Not only is the description amazing and original but it pulls the reader into the feeling of the words and feels as if you are speaking to us.  Great job!

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2001-01-05 07:55 PM


But suthern, to pout with your tongue sticking out is physically impossible..send a picture.

Bill--so nice of you to say what you say...you are welcome to come in any time...you'll just need to find the door.

Liz--you are wonderful for remembering stanza #6...thanks and hugs!

Kathleen--I am talking to you...thanks for listening.

Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
19 posted 2001-01-05 08:08 PM


a bubble has exploded somewhere
so quiet and absolute
from child-touched treasure
to a perfectly undone rainbow

Child-touched treasure  (kinda partial to this one)...and perfectly undone rainbow...

You have so many wonderful descriptions...

I'm overwhelmed...
in a good way...

I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

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