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Open Poetry #11
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Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-01-04 09:49 PM


on that ending night
in the darkness I beheld
your shadow of dark

breathing into you
the essence of my dark heart
as I hold you close

we moved into time
together into the night
night I, shadow she

--------------------------------------------------------------



That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


© Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2001-01-04 09:57 PM


Simply said and beautifully done.   Need I say more than that?


Can I be your willful breeze,
Come to touch,
Your heart to ease?


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2001-01-05 07:42 AM



Quiet, soft, and so very romantic...

-Tier{Robin}

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2001-01-05 07:47 AM


the essence of haiku...short but powerfully haunting, leaving an impression in this reader's mind
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2001-01-05 10:11 AM


Sven,
night I, shadow she
moving on through history
wait for infinity

Keth


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-01-05 10:16 AM


This has a lovely waltz quality...well done!

Quiet One
Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46
Shhhhh
6 posted 2001-01-05 10:58 AM


A shadow lingers
attracted to your heartglow
Thus waiting for you

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-01-05 01:24 PM


No Temptress, you don't have to. . . thank you. . .  

Robin, that's me. . . thank you for reading. . .

from one who helped remind me of the power of haiku, thank you kaile. . .

Kethry, you have said it all my friend. . .

that's exactly what I tried to show here Sunshine. . . thank you my friend. . .  

I really liked your haiku response Quiet One. . . it's so. . . forgive me quiet. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
8 posted 2001-01-05 01:30 PM


Sven love, would you prefer me succinct or normal? Succinctly this is truly simply beautiful.
And if i was as effervescent as normal, but I'm not, it would be utterly utterly wonderfully beautiful. Which it is of course
Take care kid
                   Mushy
                      


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2001-01-05 11:20 PM


another brief but tasty morsel of romance, always to be found at the pen of sir Sven.
Loved it
Sandra

[This message has been edited by catalinamoon (edited 01-05-2001).]

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
10 posted 2001-01-05 11:42 PM


This is darkling, beautiful, enchanting..
enjoyed the read...

Poeminister

Agust P
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 157

11 posted 2001-01-06 09:03 AM


beautiful poem

"we moved into time
together into the night
night I, shadow she"

I liked it very much, thanks, AP


Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
12 posted 2001-01-06 09:16 AM


oh sven I love these senryu's ...they are marvelous

(hugs))
Charisma

Beverley
Member
since 2000-07-09
Posts 97
England
13 posted 2001-01-06 09:20 AM


Beautifully written

Stone walls do not a prison make
Nor iron bars a cage
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for a hermitage
If I have freedom in my love
And in my s

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
14 posted 2001-01-06 09:23 AM


Well done Sven...it's been a pleasure to watch you mature as a poet in front of our eyes  
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
15 posted 2001-01-06 01:09 PM


Mushy love, I would prefer you however you would like to be. . . matters not, you're always wonderful!!  Thank you love. . .

Sandra, thank you. . . I hope to have main courses very soon. . .  

Poeminister, thank you my friend. . . I've recently discovered that the dark isn't as bad as some would make it. . .  

AP, you're welcome. . . glad that you enjoyed. . .

Charisma, thank you my friend. . . and thank you for reading. . .

Beverly, thank you. . .  

hoot_owl, thank you my friend. . . I am indeed thankful to all the poets here for helping me to become better. . . it continues to be an honor to learn from all of you. . .

----------------------------------------------------------



To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

monique
Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369
Louisiana
16 posted 2001-01-06 01:20 PM


i like the breathing part the best
that's when you get to the essence
and the moves become one

Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
17 posted 2001-01-06 01:38 PM


Shivers...shivers...

I like the blend of love and darkness...

It seems that the Haiku has invaded Passions...and what a lovely bunch they are...

Glorious..


I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
18 posted 2001-01-07 11:49 AM


What a meshing between shadow and light,
Sven, this is a fabulous write!

Nathan

athena4
Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622

19 posted 2001-01-07 12:40 PM


Sven,
   Compelling, powerful, and as always, beautiful...
           Much love,
             Elise

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
20 posted 2001-01-07 12:50 PM


Well I'd say that you have captured so much in just a few words.

Well done m'friend and much enjoyed!  


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
21 posted 2001-01-07 08:01 PM


on that ending night
in the darkness I beheld
your shadow of dark

holding onto time
edging closer to your beat
shadows moving in


breathing into you
the essence of my dark heart
as I hold you close

indigo breezes
washing over us, warming
in silent whispers


we moved into time
together into the night
night I, shadow she

*couldn't resist *s

~Wynter



"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



LilJenn
New Member
since 2001-01-04
Posts 6
Canada
22 posted 2001-01-07 08:15 PM


This was an excellent write...I enjoyed it.
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
23 posted 2001-01-07 08:25 PM


Lovely,my friend
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