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Open Poetry #11
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Inseperable.....
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Inseperable..... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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He wakes up in the morning, wipes the sleepness from his eyes. She also wakes up, glances at the ringing clock... and sighs. He goes into his bathroom - showers and shaves small hairs away while she goes to HER bathroom, puts her face on for the day. He then puts on his pants and shirt, selects a checkered tie While she picks out some outfit guaranteed to catch an eye. Then breakfast time - his choice is Special K or Cheerios and she eats oatmeal....careful not To get it on her clothes. While seated at the breakfast table he, once in a while, Will think how much he loves this girl Who always makes him smile. She also will think once or twice before the meal is done how wonderful he is....and whisper gently..."Love you, hon." He then picks up his briefcase, briskly walks toward the door. She grabs her purse and checks herself in mirrors one time more. He thinks about her one more time before it's time to go.. then he walks out in sunlight as she walks out in the snow. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Simply beautiful. I just don't come in here often enough! When I do though, I love it when I get to read gems like this.  |
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Lana Member
since 2000-12-26
Posts 68 |
well now I liked this but I'm confused, are they on the equator or something!!!! I mean I know love makes you crazy..ah well, it is a sweet poem. Ok, I don't get it!! I like this style-story telling, it's my style too, but you are more polished. This one is going to stick in my mind for a long time. but I'm new I'll ask my husband, he'll figure it out. Forget it, he's asleep [This message has been edited by Lana (edited 12-29-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Long distance love..I get it..he's in a sunny state (physically as well as mentally) and she's in a cold state! Good poem...makes me wonder though..couldn't they find somewhere in between? |
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Lana Member
since 2000-12-26
Posts 68 |
ok, thank you Poet D ....it takes me awhile and I should have put it together, what a great poem. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, from half the world away I know I heard you say I love you hun this morning as I began my day it made me start to smile and grin the widest mile my face lit up at dawning I felt you for a while If wishes were fishes then all men would swim. if dreams had wings then I'd fly to him. Sorry brain mush, from the warm fuzzy Write on Keth Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ Funny how the miles just melt away when the hearts are close. Wonderfully conceived idea. Very well written, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
love it....and it brings a little smile up my face. love the read...thanks for sharing... ((hugs)) Charisma |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i don't eat oatmeal in the morning -- i don't eat spam at noon... when snow is coming, with a warning, or when there's a monsoon... i see myself inside the glass and wonder who am i... and then i realize, at last.... i have no clue, no lie! hehe  hehe.... sorry, Senor Balladeer... you DO inspire me.... and THIS, my 'deer sweet Poet, is so awesome that the last two lines literally brought tears to my eyes... (no kidding) awwww... ok, call me a romantic or something...geez, i can't help it!! but you're one fine writer and this is very special... as are you... just reading you makes me so HAPPY, i lose track of myself and my head spins around and stuff... rofl  [This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 12-29-2000).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Long distance love... has its disadvantages, doesn't it?... Not much fighting though... I like this, Deer... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mike, Your a real Whit man. Loved the poem |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
brilliant...you've got style, yanno that? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
me thinks they need a vacation ... me thinks they need to have breakfast together ... Scrambled Eggs and Spam me LOVES this poem ... and the poet who wrote it later-eat your Cheerios-gator jm Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
I like the He said/She Said style. Maybe you should go visit her TO MELT THE SNOW. Melton |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Wonderful poem Deer! I didn't understand it at first but then when it came to me I thought, "This is great! I love this!". I suppose because I relate to it so well. Well done!I am no one if not myself. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* Mr. Balladeer you have such a way of making miles apart seem to have two souls so close that they still see each other in their hearts each day as they start the day. *sigh* how incredibly beautiful is this poem. Lucky lady when the sunshine and snow can bring you two together where you can look into each others eyes and say 'I love you'.Much love to you from me. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Satiate....thank you! We'd love to see you more often! Lana...thanks much..I have these O Henry tendencies sometimes! People get used to me and tolerate me. Thank you for reading DeVine...is used to me! No, Sharon, sometimes they can't!!  Kethry...LOL! You're outflirting the flirt! I love it!!  Marge...yes, it is funny, ain;t it? Thank you, sweet person Charisma...thank you...even if that smile is a mask * wink * Doreen...you don't eat Spam at noon? and here I thought you were the perfect woman!! Nan....you sure about that??? Sy...I'm afraid only Walt is the real Whit man but thank you! serenity..sometimes I feel like my style went out of style years ago...but I'm glad you think so Janet MArie...you ALWAYS have the right words! Melton..love is grand but SNOW is SNOW!! Thanks for reading! Dark Enchantress..I'm VERY glad you enjoyed it...and sorry if you can relate to it! Startime..."they see each other in their hearts each day"...what a perfect line! Thank you! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Another perfect surprise ending! Nobody does it better!! Denise |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Echoing denise...nobody does it better... Wow...here I am sitting in about six inches of white stuff...and you're there writing warm stuff...I think I'm going to see a melt soon... 'Deer, whoever your friend is, I am sure she must be smiling... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Perfectly wonderful Michael ... mind if I just say that I love the way your mind works? Best wishes, /Kit |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Oh Mr Deer I wonder how many women living in a cold area thinks you are writing just to them. Be careful, you never know who will be knocking on your door. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I hope they were both dressed for it. I loved this!!! "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." Braveheart Kathleen |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Love the routine reality of this work. You are quite the master at taking reality and presenting it in a different light, a type of perspective that holds the reader. Also I'm so glad for PD's comment it helped me through....it's not you two is it? oh, OK I'm sorry for prying.....take care..ethome |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
snow is cold..... i'm glad you're in a warm climate..... |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
ok what would a rare visit to PIP be without reading one of yours....this is incredible, I remember writing something along this line, but not nearly as powerful...nice writing my friend...miss you, you know? |
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