navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » Undercurrents
Open Poetry #11
Post A Reply Post New Topic Undercurrents Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2000-12-24 08:57 AM




Undercurrents

serene, the water is most
serene, and one
would never dream
never dream
of the riptide below

calm, the still, still waters
entice me calm
and as a balm they
serve to unnerve the
soul and draw me on
beyond the goal

and stepping forth
then stepping in,
the undercurrents suck
at my feet
to greet the riptide
of emotions

pull me to my
destiny
haul me through
the words of thee
paint upon the scene serene
and riptide me
away


© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
KokoStewartKoomoa
Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580
Waikiki, Hawaii
1 posted 2000-12-24 09:29 AM


This is very beautiful and inspiring! The ocean moves me. I enjoyed your magic pen's journey.

Passion,imagination
and intellect
running together...
Poetry in motion~~~

Aloha with
warmest regards, Koko



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-12-24 10:25 AM


Wow!  Karilea, you're simply taking my breath away with so many wonderful poems of late ... incredible imagery and flow in this beautiful piece ... just lovely!  

Happy holidays and best wishes,
/Kit

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2000-12-24 10:28 AM


Karilea,
Your poetry is getting so mature. This is a wonderful poem. *L*

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2000-12-24 10:38 AM


whooooooshhhhhh............

i got pulled under, the wave crashed on top of my head.... i'm drowning in emotion out to sea, filling my lungs with salt water....

hehe...

great write here, ms. K.... so much truth in here.... you're just wading, then jumping waves, then swimming and before you know it, the emotions take over and you're no longer in control...

well, that's what i got out of it anyway... i tend to read myself in your words a lot...


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-12-24 01:32 PM


Karilea~
Love the pull of this piece~
'the undercurrents suck
at my feet
to greet the riptide
of emotions'


Yep !  It's happening !
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-12-24 04:27 PM


calm, the still, still waters
entice me calm
and as a balm they
serve to unnerve the
soul and draw me on
beyond the goal
=================
pull me to my
destiny
haul me through
the words of thee
paint upon the scene serene
and riptide me
away
===========
ya know what Sun... this one goes in me WAY COOL file  
love that last verse...and the inner rhyme and the title ...
very cool indeed
jm


Some people find subtlety in strangers
if you find anything~let me in
Your eyes~you see everything
my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
7 posted 2000-12-24 04:54 PM


Kari love, this is the ultimate you are truly awe inspiring love this is so stunning. I'm dumb struck, really wonderful, utterly breath taking beauty
Truly marvellous love
Take care
                Majestic Marsha
                        


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2000-12-24 05:14 PM


What a fantastic metaphor, sunshine...

may your undercurrents bring you waves of pleasure and may your tides never ebb  

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

9 posted 2000-12-24 06:00 PM


I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
Joan Crawford

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
10 posted 2000-12-24 06:15 PM


This is spectacular writing...such strong emotions...I really love it
RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
11 posted 2000-12-24 06:20 PM


Sunshine.....some somehow somehow somehow I understand this so perfectly!

Robert

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2000-12-25 04:31 PM


Thank you all...

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
13 posted 2000-12-25 07:20 PM


So do you give lessons in the use of metaphors packed with the power of the sea in them?  This one was beautifully penned and illustrated in your use of each word.  Carefully chosen to make the most of the impact.  Yeah, it sucked my in too!!

A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
author unknown


Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
14 posted 2000-12-25 07:39 PM


"serene, the water is most
serene, and one
would never dream
never dream
of the riptide below"

Pondering...

Relating...




I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2000-12-25 08:44 PM


calm and serene on the surface, raging underneath...this reminds me of what some close people say about me
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

16 posted 2000-12-25 08:50 PM


Hey, this is great Sunshine!

and this...

and stepping forth
then stepping in,
the undercurrents suck
at my feet
to greet the riptide
of emotions

yup I love it!


Maree



"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this wouldn't be enough"
"Maree Russo"


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2000-12-25 11:29 PM


The most I can do
is thank you all..

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
18 posted 2000-12-26 08:09 PM


and the most we can do is to share this with as many people as possible. . .  

. . . I'm running out of words here my friend. . . it's just. . . just. . . so. . . beautiful just doesn't seem to do it. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2000-12-26 10:23 PM


Sven, I think I'm speechless...
thank you!

Although I did not personally reply to everyone, I do appreciate your comments...

this is a very intense poem for me, I am sure those that have read, understand...

thank you again.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
20 posted 2000-12-26 11:13 PM


Amazingly expressive, Kari, I love everything about this.
Take care.
Sandra

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
21 posted 2000-12-26 11:57 PM


riptide me away


great phrasing, Sunshine  

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
22 posted 2000-12-27 11:46 AM


Cat, Wynter
thank you

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
23 posted 2000-12-28 07:55 AM


Wonderful metaphor... Some of us are so adept at projecting serenity.. and shrouding our riptides... aren't we??...
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
24 posted 2000-12-28 10:40 AM


It seems the undercurrents are always there, sometimes its what we secretly hope for.....wonderful write, I love this   -SEA
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
25 posted 2000-12-28 05:52 PM


Yes, Nan...some of us are....{~,^}....and some of us should just give in....

SEA...be careful of what you hope and/or wish for...it CAN come true....


Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
26 posted 2000-12-29 01:52 PM


My God Karilea - is there no end - no peak - you cannot continue to surpass? -I just keep adding your poems to my treasure box - well past any 'hat trick' I might strive to reach.
tell you I think this great - or that I loved it would be the understatement of the year.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
27 posted 2000-12-29 05:37 PM


As all of us have certain favored poets among the many fine poets that grace these walls, you perhaps may be among my favored readers, Mr. Yeats...always with a kind word, always with a boost up...I treasure your comments, and this particular poem has received a multiplicity of responses, more than I ever imagined...and you are in part responsible.  Thank you...

and again, thank you all, you've no idea what you do to my heart...

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
28 posted 2000-12-29 05:45 PM


I would most certainly hate to see you get riptided away..I'd sure miss you and these wonderful poetic streaks of genius that you place on my screen ( you just do it for me don't you?) take care and keep that creative pulse pumping.....ethome.....
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » Undercurrents

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary