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Open Poetry #11
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2000-12-20 04:25 PM



There was a time from my fair pen when the softest words would flow.
When the gracious bubbling fountain poured notes from heaven's fold.
Long before the metal and long before the deals
when sweet chords fell from the silence to the real.
When there was no disguising and mystery hid in clouds
and to the verdant hillsides I would sing aloud.
And I walked upon the forest trails and bathed in waterfalls
and my mind was filled with nature's thrills and rested on the call.

And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud
and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come.
A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race
with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late.

In there with baited breath reserved for all they can keep,
they see a golden calf wheeling through their dreams.
And pushing for affluence where visions sail the mains
they land on the hidden shores of legerdemain.

Let's bring out the old guitar and sing to the trees
and lay down some notes that sound like the breeze.
Let's open the heart and let the blood flow
and light the old campfire and sing songs we know.

Within the tall greenwoods the secret is hiding
the new day comes creeping with the breath of dawn
across the still waters all the world is waking
amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song.

"We are the singers coming from the moonlight
singing our love songs when the morning comes.
Bringing new life and praising the daylight
laying out our charms for work to be done"

So over the hillsides and across the skies
out of the wetlands their voice comes alive.
Up the long rivers all the way to the head
singing those love songs to bring out the dead.
singing them out and making light known
til sounds of the new day cover their tone.
Another day hailed with a feast for the breath
a praise to the living and the maker be blessed.

Oh the songs of the future they've all been sung
some heavy as metal and some lighthearted fun....

But over the hillsides and across the skies
out of the wetlands their voice comes alive
and everyday a new song above the ground revives.
    


[This message has been edited by ethome (edited 12-20-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
1 posted 2000-12-20 04:39 PM


This has a great lyrical quality - good one my friend
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-12-20 05:23 PM


ETHome~
You surely knew I'd find my way to this beauty.

'But over the hillsides and across the skies
out of the wetlands their voice comes alive
and everyday a new song above the ground revives.'


ABSOLUTELY lovely.
~*Marge*~

    


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
3 posted 2000-12-20 05:34 PM


"across the still waters all the world is waking
amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song."

ethome--Beautiful and melifluous rythm and flow in this piece...I like this muchly.  Excellent writing.

Poeminister< !signature-->

"...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls-
O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love."
-Poe





[This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 12-20-2000).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-12-20 05:40 PM


There was a time from my fair pen when the softest words would flow.
When the gracious bubbling fountain poured notes from heaven's fold.
Long before the metal and long before the deals
when sweet chords fell from the silence to the real.
When there was no disguising and mystery hid in clouds
and to the verdant hillsides I would sing aloud.
And I walked upon the forest trails and bathed in waterfalls
and my mind was filled with nature's thrills and rested on the call.
And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud
and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come.
A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race
with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late.

In there with baited breath reserved for all they can keep,
they see a golden calf wheeling through their dreams.
And pushing for affluence where visions sail the mains
they land on the hidden shores of legerdemain.

Let's bring out the old guitar and sing to the trees
and lay down some notes that sound like the breeze.
Let's open the heart and let the blood flow
and light the old campfire and sing songs we know.
=====================
my oh my I do so love when me E-babes sings.
this is SOOOOOO COOOOL Ethome...
a visual and verbiage overload ...
(Those first set of verses were stunning)
all dressed up in that signature lyrical cadence of yours...
what a treat this was to read aloud...
there are so many cool images and words of wisdom in this ...

"A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race
with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late"

how way cool is that!!! WAAAYY COOOL
VANTASTIC my sweet poet...YOU ARE  
later-sing it to me-gator
love to ya
jm



Some people find subtlety in strangers
if you find anything~let me in
Your eyes~you see everything
my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
5 posted 2000-12-20 06:32 PM


P T this is so outstanding, I'm amazed and stunned. This is truly one of your utter best. You truly are so sensational, astounding and wonderful. Oh I really love it, really P T, this is first class absolutely fabulous.
Oh WOW
Take care
              Mushy
                


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-12-21 12:24 PM


ethome? Methinks you are a "hobbit" at heart!!!

This is truly exquisite..
"We are the singers coming from the moonlight"

Yes, yes, you are...would love to sing a song or two with you...definitely a fire-side read!


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2000-12-21 04:56 AM


Thanks Bill I can't seem to get away from the lyrical approach to poetry...I appreciate the comment...ethome

Yes Marge it's true I did think of you when I was writing this the other day and I'm so glad that you stopped in to read it...take care....ethome

Thank you Poeminister I sure do appreciate such wonderful thoughts from you...ethome

Aw Janet me poetic pet yer tryin to outspoil me with your comments..thanks love for such exuberant comments and for feeling the music in this...like you can do so well ..you're such a VANtastic poet pal.....ethome

Thank you my lovable mushy I sure appreciate your comments..I didn't realize that when I gave you back the superlatives that you were going to use them on me...and I'm so pleased.

Thank you my sweet Acadian girl and I know you'd love to be sitting by that fire and singing or reciting some of yours and I'm right there willing to listen...merci Celeste!

John R
Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 141
Toledo OH
8 posted 2000-12-21 05:40 AM


I agree this has a great lyrical tone to it.. Your verse is exceptional.

If a dream touches us, it exists to us as anything else that touches us.
John


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2000-12-21 06:44 AM


Another day hailed with a feast for the breath
a praise to the living and the maker be blessed.

my favorite lines, although I enjoyed all...nice writing E

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2000-12-21 07:35 AM


thanks John for taking the time to read...I appreciate the comments...ethome

Wynter thanks so much for reading and picking your favourite lines I'm glad you enjoyed...ethome

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
11 posted 2000-12-21 11:08 AM


Within the tall greenwoods the secret is hiding
the new day comes creeping with the breath of dawn
across the still waters all the world is waking
amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song.

"We are the singers coming from the moonlight
singing our love songs when the morning comes.
Bringing new life and praising the daylight
laying out our charms for work to be done"

Told ya Id be back...and you know sweet poet man how much I love the music in your poems...and this just sings to me...


Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
12 posted 2000-12-21 11:15 AM


mmmmmmmmm*sigh* oh yes, sweet friend, I got lost in this one. Listening to the music of your words is delightful. *sigh* you always seem to fill me with such warmth. Much love and Christmas hugs to you from me.

Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com


VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
13 posted 2000-12-21 11:22 AM


Lyrical and interesting.

It has peeked my curiosity a great deal.  You began with a particular rhyme scheme, then changed, then included assonance and dissonance, then returned to the original rhyme scheme.  Also the line count at the bottom matched the beginning with only a slight variation.  Is this a form you've created or does it have a name?

There are so many forms of which I have no knowledge. Teach me.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2000-12-21 10:37 PM


I would like to send this to my brother...he is into music as his art form and I think he would enjoy this...that is, sir, with your permission...

I so enjoyed it!


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
15 posted 2000-12-22 01:11 PM


Thanks Paula for the kind words I appreciate the fact that you can hear the music in them ......take care       ethome

Startime your reply is just as warm and I'm glad to hear you mention the music in the words that's very kind!! Thank you    ethome

VAS in some songs there are parts that slow down and then speed up again and the rhyme scheme seems to follow the flow and timing.. and no dear poet friend it's not something I made up it's something that makes me up and I can't put my finger on the pulse of it because it changes all the time....thank you so much for your comments!! I appreciate them more than you know......ethome


Sunshine you can send these words to whomever you please and thank you for your kind thoughts I appreaciate them so much.... ethome

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
16 posted 2000-12-22 01:17 PM


Huggle bunny,
loved this one,the images and music stayed with me, long after I finished reading. I've just gone back for a second read and it's just as good this time around.
Kethry (your picnic pal)


Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon.


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
17 posted 2000-12-22 04:42 PM


Let's bring out the old guitar and sing to the trees
and lay down some notes that sound like the breeze.
Let's open the heart and let the blood flow
and light the old campfire and sing songs we know.

Within the tall greenwoods the secret is hiding
the new day comes creeping with the breath of dawn
across the still waters all the world is waking
amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song.

=============================================

Hey my friend, you really DO KNOW HOW to sing don't ya?  Wow and double wow.  I loved every verse, every word, and every thought in this wonderful piece.  I got the guitar too, so do you mind if I just sort of happen by if I promise not to interrupt your song.  
You have truely outdone yourself in not only the imagery but in bringing to me some very visible feelings that can only be felt by those that have taken the time to really enjoy and take in the beauty around them, escaping the world and it's hustle bustle ways.  I could and did get lost in this one and would love to come back to do so again so I guess that means another in the library for you my friend.  I think I will put this one under "WAY COOL"(a mutual friend got me saying that) and "GROOVY"(that too)

A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
author unknown


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2000-12-23 09:47 AM


Thanks Keth for the musical reply I really appreciate it so much....you have a nice holiday picnic partner....ethome

Thank you Mark for the encouraging thoughts! Feel free to join in when you come by and we'll do a duet or even better if we have the Blue Moons singing background. Oh you didn't know about my back up group?  Martie, Janet Marie and Serenity.....The Blue Moons...It's a wonderful thing it truly is...way too cool!.. I don't know where I've heard that one before....take care cowboy and have a nice holiday........ethome

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
19 posted 2000-12-23 10:36 PM


among fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song

A song can be heard in this one!
Really good poem you have written.
Deb  

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
20 posted 2000-12-24 05:23 AM


Thank you so very much Blooming rose I'm glad you heard the music in this.....ethome
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
21 posted 2000-12-26 01:07 AM


I was in the mood for a song...and you never disapppoint...this just fir my mood so perfectly...thank you
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
22 posted 2000-12-27 03:59 AM


Thanks Paula I hope this fit your mood alright.....ethome
Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
23 posted 2000-12-28 02:49 PM


Lovely language, lyrical and pure..I don't usually enjoy poems with long lines like this but this one was a wonderful read..especially to read aloud, flows very nicely with some terrific imagery, like:
"And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud
and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come.
A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race
with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late."
good work!!!

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
24 posted 2000-12-28 02:49 PM


Lovely language, lyrical and pure..I don't usually enjoy poems with long lines like this but this one was a wonderful read..especially to read aloud, flows very nicely with some terrific imagery, like:
"And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud
and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come.
A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race
with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late."
good work!!!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
25 posted 2000-12-29 05:24 AM


Thanks Beki I appreciate you taking the time to read this poem and giving your comments out...take care    ethome
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
26 posted 2000-12-29 06:42 AM


Picnic pal,
the third time's the charm but it still sings and it's still good. It don't better than that.
Kethry


Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon.


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
27 posted 2000-12-29 06:00 PM


Thanks picnic pal I sure hope you can get some good food together cause I got some fab! wine and well, the rest will speak for itself. Thank you so much for the comments!
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
28 posted 2000-12-29 06:00 PM


Thanks picnic pal I sure hope you can get some good food together cause I got some fab! wine and well, the rest will speak for itself. Thank you so much for the comments! Sorry hit the button twice!

[This message has been edited by ethome (edited 12-29-2000).]

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
29 posted 2000-12-30 03:59 PM


Oh the songs of the future they've all been sung
some heavy as metal and some lighthearted fun....

But over the hillsides and across the skies
out of the wetlands their voice comes alive
and everyday a new song above the ground revives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
`so true.......wonderful done my friend.

((hugs))
Charisma

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
30 posted 2000-12-30 04:54 PM


Thank you Charisma for qouting the verses and I appreciate the comments......ethome
athena4
Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622

31 posted 2000-12-30 08:44 PM


Ethome,
    Let me catch my breath!  What a work of art. Loved it.
            Elise

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
32 posted 2000-12-30 08:56 PM


Ethome~
Most wonderful writings my friend...well done
~HUG~
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
33 posted 2000-12-31 04:54 PM


Thanks Athena for the work of art comment I appreciate you taking the time to read this....ethome

Tracie thank you for taking the time to read this ....much appreciated....ethome

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