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Open Poetry #11
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jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2000-12-17 10:39 PM


It's about how soldiers wont be home for Christmas, enjoy, all aspects of criticism is wanted.

The Taken Soldier

The dark overcast sky on this formidable day
Captures an inanimate soul and takes him away
The war calls left his sobbing family astray
For if his life is seized, someone will pay

An unholy battlefield of vengeance dwells
Bullets and cannons blacken the light sky
Soldiers conglomerate in death holes below
Bodies are slaughtered as one by one they die

The general shouts loud, "Fire! Mow them down!"
"Like a scythe?" asks a soldier from the ground
"Tear them up good! Leave not one soul alive!"
Like lemmings they did 'til backup arrived

They lined the enemy up, all the rank and file
Machine guns exploded, not one in denial
Not many survived back to camp to write back home
Some barely clenched an eye as enemies did roam

"Dear Mother," a letter was started so soft
But soon grew harsh as it described the war
Weary grew the soldier, the letter he tore
For it was a little too gruesome to be sent aloft

The days of holiday soon became so near
Seperated from his family, and full of fear
He started a new letter of sadness and tear
A Christmas without love, he couldn't bare

As the time became thin, the war seemed ending
It seemed so right for this event to start mending  
The treaty was signed, and the battles forgotten
So many dead bodies were left to become rotten

A family is reunited under the mysterious sky
The letter came soon after, saying he might die
Inside was a death note, and doubt he would last
"Mourn for me not, but don’t leave me in the past."

Jeremy D. Raulinaitis   12/00


"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~


© Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
1 posted 2000-12-18 12:48 PM


Jeremy...such a very strong and powerful image I get from this...thank you for rminding us that there are those who cannot be home for the holidays because the risk their lives to keep us safe
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

2 posted 2000-12-18 01:09 AM



Jeremy, this poem is special...

You had me teary-eyed while I became immersed in the poem...

Absolutely a great write and I thank you for sharing it...

coco

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
3 posted 2000-12-18 02:07 AM


a war is incredible....and you have penned it very well. heartfelt piece.

Charisma

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2000-12-18 09:22 PM


thanks! thanks for all the replies, let your voice be heard.

jeremy r

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