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Open Poetry #11
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Ramses
Junior Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 40
Porsgrunn, Telemark, Norway

0 posted 2000-12-14 06:27 PM


PLASTIC YOU....

Will you let me see your naked skin in the mirror
I think you are as plastic as it gets.
Hope to God I see you know while you still are fresh
Hope to God you have no regrets
Let me see your face without makeup
Amazing what some powder can do
I know you cover the dark spots when you get the chance
Exposing the unnatural you
Let me hear your voice when you`re sleeping
I know it doesn`t sound the same
Shaping it, so you sound more like a woman
Well, who are you to blame

Isn`t it nice to just buy a life of your own
An image built up right from the start
A hologram of you that everyone likes
Playing the perfect part
But everything has its sideeffects
All the hard demands to match
Who really cares what you expect
Living whitout a scratch

Will you ever come to see that you are dead
All that is left is a shell
Covered in all the beautiful things we like
To see, to hear and to smell
Perfection has its brutal price to be payed
Blood sweat and tears
Well you payed it then and you pay it now
Giving your best years
And shining brightly in faked sunlight
Glimmering with your mask
I see you from a distance really
So who am I to ask

Finally my dear, have you thought of this
You`re loosing in the end
When they prey for someone to forget
Who do you think they`ll send?
Someone real who cares and thinks
Knowing what is wrong
Or someone fake with hollow eyes
Singing an indifferent song
At last you realize the all so painfull thruth
You missed it from the start
In the process of making plastic you
You also sold your heart….

-Ramses-

© Copyright 2000 Robert Hafredal - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-12-14 06:57 PM


Ramses~ WELCOME!   Wow.......powerful piece.....grand entrance........look forward to more   -SEA
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2000-12-14 07:37 PM


this reads like a song... it's lyrical, full of truths, anger, love... it's a really good piece.. there's lots in here. the last stanza is priceless... sums it up beautifully... barbie would have loved it! lol

and, btw... welcome! i'll look for more or your work... i enjoyed this very much!

- all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry -

BirdeeB
Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 106
USA
3 posted 2000-12-14 09:49 PM


Welcome!!
Wonderfully written =o)
BirdeeB

Ramses
Junior Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 40
Porsgrunn, Telemark, Norway
4 posted 2000-12-15 05:47 PM


SEA - Thank you, nice to finally put out some of my work, and especially in this community with all the lovely people...

Doreen Peri - This was written to a good friend of mine, and I will give it to her someday, maybe she realizes. It was actually a song in the beginning, but evolved more into a poem at the end...Thank you for reading

BirdeeB - Nice to hear that you like it, that means alot to me...Thenk you

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
5 posted 2000-12-15 05:57 PM


Welcome, to the board with a human heart. You have come to us with a beautiful example of your writing. This one has a powerful message. Much love to you from me.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2000-12-15 06:00 PM


Very impressive entry to Passions. Welcome. This poem is quite amazing.
Peace.
Sandra

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
7 posted 2000-12-15 06:13 PM


WOW is right.  What a remarkable post to enter our home with.  Welcome to Passions and please enjoy and roam the walls here and then delight us with some more of your wonderful works.  So very true in what you write.  I wonder if the knowledge is there when one sells their heart or if they are truely blind.

A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
author unknown


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-12-15 06:41 PM


I could've sworn I replied to this...I've read it a number of times...I too, have a problem with the "plastic people" in my life...well, actually, not any more...when they come around now, I just turn up the heat!  *winks* and welcome!  I look forward to reading many more!
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
9 posted 2000-12-15 06:43 PM


Welcome to passions, and you have penned a  powerful piece here....great entrance.

Charisma

Ramses
Junior Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 40
Porsgrunn, Telemark, Norway
10 posted 2000-12-18 02:45 PM


Startime
Thank you for your kind words...Love to you too...And it feels good to be part of this

Catalinamoon
I wanted to tell you this because I think it`s so sad seeing this in people I love. Thanx for reading...

Mark Bohannan
The sadest thing is that people do this even though they`re aware of the consequences...
Thanx for commenting...

Serenity
I`ll try turning up the heat and see what happens, he he he... Peace to you..

Charisma
Thanks for your comment...The best thing with this forum is that so many nice people encourages to futher postings....

-Everyone out there, you`re the best...
I salute you all...

Ramses

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2000-12-18 03:43 PM


Ramses, wow!!, I love this, smoot hand straight to the point. I know a few persons I could give this too  
I enjoyed it very much, adding it to my library.

Welcome to Passions please check your email for a special greeting.  

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this wouldn't be enough"
"Maree Russo"


Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

12 posted 2000-12-18 03:50 PM


Welcome to passions..hope you enjoy..and looking forward to reading more from you

                ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



kindasorta
Member
since 2000-12-02
Posts 56

13 posted 2000-12-18 05:15 PM


Hello, Enjoyed the poem as I know this person and would like to share their point of view, (for fairness sake, agreed?)!

They loss nothing!!  gained knowledge to fill a book and self esteem, whew! it flies!
her heart has never pumped stronger and must confess, have not seen her looking so good in years.  Just a note from the other side of the coin, if you will, deary!  so enjoyed your little rhyme.

kindasorta
Member
since 2000-12-02
Posts 56

14 posted 2000-12-18 05:15 PM


Hello, Enjoyed the poem as I know this person and would like to share their point of view, (for fairness sake, agreed?)!

They loss nothing!!  gained knowledge to fill a book and self esteem, whew! it flies!
her heart has never pumped stronger and must confess, have not seen her looking so good in years.  Just a note from the other side of the coin, if you will, deary!  so enjoyed your little rhyme.

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
15 posted 2000-12-18 05:23 PM


Ramses, This is a really powerful entrance, I can't imagine why I didn't see this before. And I'm sorry, for being late with my reply. Really excellant writing I'm sure you'll love it here.
Oh and WELCOME, I used to have a brain honestly, it's just I'm a little tired.
Take care
                  Marsha
                      


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



Ramses
Junior Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 40
Porsgrunn, Telemark, Norway
16 posted 2000-12-19 03:16 AM


DarkAngel
Thank you for your kind words It feels good to be part of this forum, learn alot of you more experienced writers...Thanks for the e-mail to, NICE )

Victoria
Love to be here, keep posting your work

Kindasorta
he he he...Your comments are always welcome
loved your little poem there at the end.

Marsha
Better late then never
If your brain is as big as your heart you have nothing to worry about
P.S I`m tired to, didn`t sleep this night.Working on a paper...Yuk

John R
Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 141
Toledo OH
17 posted 2000-12-19 03:27 AM


What price beauty HUH? But to quote an old cliche. "it is only skin deep." Well written and to the point.

If a dream touches us, it exists to us as anything else that touches us.
John


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

18 posted 2000-12-19 05:39 AM


makes me realize I'm 50 yrs. old!  good writing, indepth< !signature-->

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you."

         Winnie the Pooh




[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 12-19-2000).]

Cassandra
Junior Member
since 2000-12-16
Posts 48
Charlotte, North Carolina, USA
19 posted 2000-12-19 06:13 AM


Wow. I was drawn into this from the very beginning. So much power and truth spoke here. Fantastic writing here. One of my favorites so far. Thank you much.


--Cassandra

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
20 posted 2000-12-19 07:20 AM


hi there,
this reminded me of an incident a few years back..a mother who allowed her daughter with down's syndrome to undergo cosmetic surgery came under fire for altering nature..she argued that society is prejudiced and if she can lessen the discrimination that her daughter will be suffering from by cosmetic surgery, then why not?

i guess what i want to say is that perhaps there arent any easy answers...after all we are judged by society and it may be hard to remain self-assured when all around you think you are ugly...?

good poem...thought-provoking...i look forward to more of your work  

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 12-19-2000).]

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
21 posted 2000-12-19 07:46 AM


Now this is an entrance! Welcome!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.


Ramses
Junior Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 40
Porsgrunn, Telemark, Norway
22 posted 2000-12-19 05:39 PM


John R
Thax for reading. Skindeep maybe but hard as stone when you don`t have the ability to take it away...The mask that is

Irish Rose
Years is only a nomber, you`re still young in spirit and mind. Thanx for your kind words...

Cassandra...
Wow, that was a nice reply...Glad you like it

Kaile
I actually remember that when you say it, very intelligent remark, dindn`t think of that...Thank you for your nice comment...

EagleOne
Thanks for your welcome, love being here...
Take care.

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