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Open Poetry #11
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The Last Word
| Open Poetry #11 |
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The Last Word |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
In Mexican alleys, whores gather to speak of their days catches, and God. I saw the stars crying last night and so did I. I followed the highway yesterday in chase of the horizon, and lost my breath, only to catch it again I slept quietly and dreamt of nothing I was awake yesterday and thought nothing Nothing. I must have the last word. Ok. I need it. You have it. No, you do. No. Yes. I have it only because you do. I win. No. [This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 12-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ryan Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Ok, well I guess you have the last word......but who are you arguing with?  -SEA |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
In Mexican alleys, whores gather to speak of their days catches, and God. I saw the stars crying last night and so did I. Ryan, this is an incredible start. The poem has a feel as if it weaves itself out of words. The last word, leaving no more. I really like the entire work, but these lines...they are nothing short of inspired. Thank you for the read. |
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angelswing Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705United Kingdom |
May be it's just me, but I think that your argueing with yourself - no ? Very clever poem, you managed to get rhythem, flow and meaning in a nice simple shell . I enjoyed it . Many thanx . L.of.L. Tom . Don't try, do or do not, there is no try . - Master Yoda - |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Thanks all for your replies. I never imagined myself arguing with me, but that's entirely possible (too possible sometimes *grins*). The formatting didn't quite work. There should be more blank space before the second to last and last lines. I wanted the idea that the second speaker thought he'd won and had gone away, but the first one is there all along. Oh well, I'll have to live with the restraints of the software. Thanks again for the comments. Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Sitting here - can't find appropriate words. ~goes to read again~ Movement space time they all interact and they interact well... excellent write Ryan (perhaps this can be the last word? Who dares contradict me...! Bwahahaha) K |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Or is this the last word? *grins* Thanks for the comments Kamla. Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
You wanna play that game, Ry!? I AM the last word! Bow down! "Satan is my motor." - Cake |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
*looks around, doesn't see anyone* last word...there, i win. *grins* Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I'm not so sure that's how it works, buddy. You must not've noticed me under your desk. "Satan is my motor." - Cake |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
hehe, I win. *grins* "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
NO NO NO I hav the last word...women ALWAYS o ya know...I really liked the way you wove this one Ryan...with or without the spacing you were looking for...I can see you arguing with a second person...and when they walk away...  NENENE I got the last word |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I don't think you understand, Ryan. Even if you try to cheat and do it while I'm asleep, you will never win. Because I am bored out of my mind and really actually have nothing else to do. "Satan is my motor." - Cake |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Paula, thanks for the comments. None of you are going to let me win, are you? Oh, wait...*grins* (for now) Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
For now is right. I always win. Get that through your head. "Satan is my motor." - Cake |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i seriously dont care who wins...i read and i liked and thats enough!  |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I'm bored enough to care. *grins* |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
But Iam the one with the giant eraser... and the key to the locks... and the delete button... hehehe... Ain' no Miss Behavin' round these parts.. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Oh, yeah, Ryan... I like the poem... You're pretty talented... like your friend.. |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
I must say... this one is different. Deb |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Nan, is that a threat?! Huh??! Can't have you threatenin to end our fun little games for a good reason, I mean no good reason. So, na! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
you may have the last word, because I love to live, wen I have said my last word I have nothing more to give even my breathe would be taken and my heartbeat isn't anymore but yet, I am still shaken with words that hit the core so its my pleasure to leave the last word up to you. like reading your poem, and enjoyed it. Charisma |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Well, let's see if I can actually sort through everything and separate the replies from the odd, pointless banter me and MI have going on right now. I think I can manage that. kaile: Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading. Nan: What's up? You wouldn't lock down this thread on poor ole me, would you? Please? Oh, yeah, and I've been meaning to ask you, it's alright and not all right, right? *grins evilly* heehee BloomingRose: Thanks, different is what I strive to work on. Charisma: Loved your response. Had me laughing when I read it. Thanks for the grin. Ryan (I sincerely doubt MI will let me get off this easily, but who knows. I win?) "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Ry, You're gonna have to wait til I'm computerless in California before you win this one! And then, technically, you'll only be winning it for as long as I go without a modem. When that happens, well, I think you know the rest. *Grins* |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
heeheehee...I win...just gotta have patience...*grins* Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
Wowwzers. . . the poem split in half and took on two life forms! |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Hey EagleScorpion, glad you enjoyed the poem and thanks for the comments. Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Hmmmm, can I safely say now that I win? I think so. Sorry MI, just not persistant enough. Hehehehehehe. Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this is cool |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
i win i suppose in heaven, |
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