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Open Poetry #11
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jennie may*
Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122


0 posted 2000-12-10 11:01 PM


we must be laid to rest

romantic days are gone
and
something gray and
empty
had replaced our
shimmering possibilities

I have questions that
can't be asked

did you like me
better
when I ws cool

when lust
in me
kissed you back

when I didn't tell you
about my
weaknesses

I watch you
entwined in
covers
and
you don't see me

I stand close and
look at you
and
you don't see me

you leave too soon
and
you don't see me

waving goodbye

© Copyright 2000 jennie may* - All Rights Reserved
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
1 posted 2000-12-11 04:20 AM


i liked the simple direct way in which these sentiments are expressed and if this is personal, hugs and i do hope all turns out well

you leave too soon
and
you dont see me
waving goodbye

i liked these lines muchly...i think its brave of the character to be able to let go...

regards

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2000-12-11 09:21 AM


This is so sad, yet very strong......letting go can hurt so much.......excellent write   -SEA
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2000-12-11 10:09 AM


powerful and honest write. the best of
poetry doesn't have to be said with fancy
or complicated words. straight and direct
this is, and a wonderful poem you have
penned with much of your heart. hope things
turn out the best for you. take care.
~amy~

Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
4 posted 2000-12-11 10:03 PM


wow. i'd like to tell you my fav lines, but i like the whole thing...
very raw and moving.
i hope the answers are not as tough as the questions.
great write.

"The bar is always open,
the time is always right.
If God's good word goes unspoken,
then the music goes all night."



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