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The Warning
| Open Poetry #11 |
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The Warning |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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The Warning < !signature-->Caution, O hold thy key so very tight 'gainst this long winter's soulless night and against thy thoughts that would carry thee into a impetuous, thoughtless parry Guard against mine heartbeat, quickened when the step of he who comes near and please allow mine blood to thicken when its his voice my ears doth hear Stay thus mine hand from thine face lest I hasten to his vast embrace for in his arms, undone should I be as my feet would carry me willingly O blast thee Caution, Guard and Stay thee all have failed me this winter's day for unto his soul I have rendered thy heart now tarry daylight long so he won't part Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 12-10-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
There must be someone who is tickled that Caution did such a lousy job! Sunshine, this flows so smoothly and has such a wonderful Old English flavor to make it so much more poignant. Love it!  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nay Balladeer, fancy Caution thee tickled not! something Shakesperian in me just wanted out! but thanks for reading! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Thy musing answered so gave thee thy heart away and gained another Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kari, this is wonderful, it truly is, I really think you are soaring love. You are writing so well truly you are a wonder, great stuff. And I love it too Take care Majestic Marsha  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Interloper thy heart is so near as the tender you might hear in a midnight clear Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Marsha thou crept in quiet to sing a song peacefully thank you my sweet friend Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Good attempt at Shakespearian flavor. I do have an English major friend that continually corrects me when I use thee in the manner in which you have. In this instance, thou is the correct word. Both mean you but thou is the subject and thee is the object. Thou shall... ...for thee. Thought you might want to know. I usually just change my 'thee' to you as the 'thou' sounds too Quaker, okay in some poems, but not in others. Hope you don't mind my sharing this with you. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you Virginia...I'm always up for being corrected...and I think I made the proper edit...thank you... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Karilea, You have stated the eternal question again. To be or not to be? But I take your poem as a statement and thereby say just lovely. *L* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sy, I will just have to quit asking questions...love the lovely...hugs, Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Fair poet, indeed thou hast again penned a tale of love and light that only the heart can answer. . . --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sven, good Knight...there is one back on 4 or 5 that you might like...'tis a love story... and thank you for coming in to read... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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