navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » voices in my mind
Open Poetry #11
Post A Reply Post New Topic voices in my mind Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-12-08 04:10 PM


I know of affirmations
that I should recite,
and even words I find absurd
incite me in the night.
My subconscious,
reprimanding,
living in the
flesh, demanding,
judge and jury
notwithstanding...

voices echo in my mind.


Silences that should be kept
Stifled tears that should be wept
volcano grows
beneath the rug
where my memories were swept...

voices mocking in my mind.


Bridges leading anywhere
Taxi cabs are at my door
The roads curve long
in sweet "come on"
my soul in ache to taste of more...

voices beckon in my mind.



© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-12-08 04:12 PM


I hear them too Serenity...and you've put it forth quite well...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-12-08 04:35 PM


serenity,,,wow! The words are great but this rhyme scheme and tempo that you use is outstanding!!! I bow to your creativity...
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-12-08 06:51 PM


Heed the voices...follow your dream!!!
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2000-12-08 07:12 PM


Wonderful!  Well said.

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


liquidphantasy
Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15
california
5 posted 2000-12-08 07:33 PM


"Silences that should be kept
Stifled tears that should be wept
volcano grows
beneath the rug
where my memories were swept..."

Excellent stanza. This is a powerful piece! I think I hear those same voices! Question is, listen to them? or tell them to shut-up!? Well, that's my dilemma with them anyway. Thanks for posting this fine piece of writing.  

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
6 posted 2000-12-08 07:59 PM


Serenity, this is wonderful writing, it really is an excellant piece from you. It is utterly wonderful, and I love it.
Take care
               Mushy
                  


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-12-08 08:52 PM


I know of affirmations
that I should recite,
and even words I find absurd
incite me in the night.
My subconscious,
reprimanding,
living in the
flesh, demanding,
judge and jury
notwithstanding...
voices echo in my mind.
===================

my soul in ache to taste of more...
================
OH BABY ... me could kiss ya for this one...
and look at me girlie playing with her rhyme
and I am loving this and you KNOW it ...
what an awesome write sen ...
as is the poet who wrote it ...
*kisskiss* baby
and those voices your hearing...
they speak pure poetry me sweet  


I looked into the sky for my anthem
The words and music came through
But words and music can never touch the beauty that I've seen
Looking into you

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-12-09 01:50 AM


Thank you much Karilea...you spread your sunshine daily, and you are one of the most hardest working poets I've known!!!I do appreciate your unfailing kindness.

Michael...I'm so glad that you like this!!!
It is because of your kind and thoughtful instruction that I even dare...and I confess, this time?  I TRIED to please you!
Hugs and thanks m'friend!!!

Sharon...follow that dream...lol..I'm the girl who likes to read the last page first...but, make ya a deal...you be brave and me? I'll be behind ya, every step of the way!

I thank you much, Interloper...I do appreciate your reading me.

liquidphantasy?  ooh. Yes. It does get noisy in there...sometimes, I even have to take the "spot"...lol. I appreciate your understanding and thank you for your reply.

Marsha, marsha marsha....you are so sweet and so kind and so poetic that it's impossible not to adore you! Thank you much, and the good poetic people you work with. You are all a delight!

Janet Marie?  what's the bumper sticker? "I do whatever the voices tell me to do..."  lol...and a few of them? just won't take the damned lithium!!! (j/k folks) YEAH.  SURE....

thanks again, love to you all.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2000-12-09 09:09 AM


You have multitudes of conversations with yourself??... I can relate... Occasionally some things even get resolved....

Very nicely done, serenity..

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
10 posted 2000-12-10 07:03 AM


Serenity, I wish the voices in my head were half as poetic as yours, wonderfully written piece. standing ovation to your pen and those voices you hear. Continue to heed them.  

"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2000-12-10 07:11 AM


"my soul in ache to taste of more..."

Wow! Powerful words Serenity ... loved this. So many emotions you've evoked ... do I, don't I, too many voices at once ... have you been peeking into my mind too?  Great writing, and loved the flow in this piece!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2000-12-10 07:23 AM


Hey..after Nan wipes the "smooches" off her cheek?  and many thank yous..,.brian...MY GOD I MISS YOU>>> post a thousand? will ya?
(love nan too...)

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » voices in my mind

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary