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Passions in Poetry

melting smoke

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desperado
Member
since 05-24-99
Posts 361
FT Hood,Tx


0 posted 12-08-2000 04:19 AM       View Profile for desperado   Email desperado   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for desperado


take a breath and count down from 3
ignore the sounds and the things you see
fade away into the night once more
as you lay relaxed upon your floor
watch the ceiling through melting curls of smoke
slide your hand to make the flow seem broke
but it never broke the endless burn
it never paused to wait it's turn
and so goes life through endless days
so many passages, so many ways
always counting down to the very end
as the beauty of love causes hearts to mend
from reality of life destroying your soul
it's loss leaves you broken and not quite whole
and as the smoke melts once more as one
the things that you did become undone
with the tears I cried so long washed away
and daylight fading into one hopeful ray
who knows whether it will be there tomorrow
or if the world will join in your sorrow
as you close your eyes to sleep once more
lying there ontop the bedroom floor
watch the smoke rings fade away at night
as you lie there in soft candle light
as the darkness looms like a wild beast
hungrily waiting for the carnal feast
in a world where dreams still rule supreme
and nothing is ever what it should seem
so I'll lay on the floor for a day or two
thinking about the stories I'd like to tell you
about the fun and the laughs about what people say
the trauma and drama that we have every day
but I never remember those small little things
from the color of a bird to the way it sings
a bird is a bird and a song is a song
the thing that changes is whether it sounds wrong
so close your eyes and relax with me
let your eyes go hazy and your mind free
as you walk into the depths of life once more
as we're lying here on the bedroom floor
© Copyright 2000 James Webster - All Rights Reserved
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


1 posted 12-08-2000 04:33 AM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness


Breathe back from three.
Then perhaps you'll see me
as the bird you forgot
like an old story plot
that was thrown away
while you waited for day...
I'll close my eyes and
relax with you,
with the ray of hope it
will one day be true.
I'll see your face
in the dark candlelight
and know for once,
this is something done right.

Wonderful, Des.


"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."
                                




[This message has been edited by Saxoness (edited 12-08-2000).]
Angel_of_Music
Junior Member
since 07-25-99
Posts 36
Sanger, TX USA


2 posted 12-08-2000 06:17 PM       View Profile for Angel_of_Music   Email Angel_of_Music   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel_of_Music

Wow Desperado, this screams in such a subtle manner that I'm not even sure what to say. So tender, and yet, it's done with almost a nonchalance about it, that you have to close your eyes and picture every word...not that it's hard. Great imagery, especially the curling smoke. Bravo.

"In sleep he sang to me...in dreams he came...that voice which calls to me, and speaks my name..."
liquidphantasy
Junior Member
since 12-04-2000
Posts 38
california


3 posted 12-08-2000 07:05 PM       View Profile for liquidphantasy   Email liquidphantasy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for liquidphantasy

quote:
but it never broke the endless burn
it never paused to wait it's turn
and so goes life through endless days
so many passages, so many ways


so I'll lay on the floor for a day or two
thinking about the stories I'd like to tell you
about the fun and the laughs about what people say
the trauma and drama that we have every day
but I never remember those small little things
from the color of a bird to the way it sings
a bird is a bird and a song is a song
the thing that changes is whether it sounds wrong


You certainly have a way with words! The above lines caught my eye! You look quite young from the photo, but you seem to have a lot of wisdom for your age. I would like to hear this poem read aloud.

Oh, and you have a heckuva great vocabulary. I bet you play a mean game of scrabble.  
desperado
Member
since 05-24-99
Posts 361
FT Hood,Tx


4 posted 12-12-2000 12:23 AM       View Profile for desperado   Email desperado   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for desperado

thanks angela for the comments on my poem.  I appreciate it.  (now if I could ever spell my name right the first time) hehe


liquid -  thanks for the comments.  oh and I usually do more than just play scrabble when it's time for scrabble.  I'm the world famous scrabbletop dancer.  I'm the master at that.  hehe

"There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why...  
I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"
--Robert Francis Kennedy, 1968 presidential campaign
Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


5 posted 12-12-2000 12:56 AM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

Hey Des...Nice to see you here. Hope all is well with you.
I could see the curls of smoke rolling away as I read this.
quote:
so close your eyes and relax with me
let your eyes go hazy and your mind free
as you walk into the depths of life once more
as we're lying here on the bedroom floor

This stanza somehow relaxed me and put me in a state of wonder....
I was ready to lay and listen to your stories,
but in visions...
...in silence.
Excellent job in taking me there....  
And a great piece...you've done well.


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 12-12-2000 07:11 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Hey des... Nice work here.. You can definitely get a clearer picture of life when viewed from the bedroom floor... I haveta say.. I've tried it and it works..

I'll also vouch for your scrabble dancing talent... You're the best!!  Who won, anyway??....
desperado
Member
since 05-24-99
Posts 361
FT Hood,Tx


7 posted 12-12-2000 09:58 PM       View Profile for desperado   Email desperado   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for desperado

thanks irie.  I appreciate it.  some times I don't know where they come from, but as long as they come should I really care?

nan -  ummm I think we had too much fun to determine a winner or a loser, but I'd have to say it was prolly you.  doreen and I had too much fun laughing at each other to bother with paying attention.
Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 04-06-2000
Posts 999
Small Town, Somewhere


8 posted 12-12-2000 10:31 PM       View Profile for Broken_Winged_Angel   Email Broken_Winged_Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Broken_Winged_Angel's Home Page   View IP for Broken_Winged_Angel

   I read this... and then re-read it... and once more re-read it.  I really like the way it flows and the simple wonder of how it's written.  You have quite a way with words.  I'd like to talk with you more sometime.  E-mail me if you want. BWA.

With a little piece of tomorrow,
You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye.
Because today won't last forever,
And the past will only make you cry.  



P.S.  I really enjoyed your web-page..  

[This message has been edited by Broken_Winged_Angel (edited 12-12-2000).]
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


9 posted 04-22-2005 08:31 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

touching piece
 
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