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Open Poetry #11
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Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-12-07 02:14 PM



I have been
under you.
Loving you,
neglecting me.
I have been
behind your back,
in that dark
I knew so well.

I was once your
sweetest angel, your
shining friend.
I had it all
and everything
Till the melody’s end.

Then the music stopped
and the people left.
I was the only one,
only one around.
Left dancing with memories
of a forgotten kiss.

Now I’m trapped,
a long lost memory.
A darkened part of your past,
you can’t erase.

In Your mind
You can’t forget.
Forget that rainy day
You had left me
Along the way.


© Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved
Wobbly Head Bob
Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299
Virginia, USA
1 posted 2000-12-07 03:54 PM


I know this theme all too well, my friend.  And you point out that memories remain on both ends, and no one forgets, I like that.  Hearts don't really break, they just bend a little...the hurt is all the same, nice writing.
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
2 posted 2000-12-07 09:23 PM


Thanks.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2000-12-07 09:27 PM


This brought the tears to my eyes and re-opened an ache for my once best friend, I still miss him so much...... excellent write  -SEA
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2000-12-08 09:42 AM


No true friend should ever be forgotten, or neglected....such sorrowful words

What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman



Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
5 posted 2000-12-08 12:34 PM


SEA- I'm sorry I would never want to do anything to bring tears to your eyes. I'm a bad bad boy.

I.R.- You are so right.


  

[This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 12-08-2000).]

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
6 posted 2000-12-09 03:34 PM


Effigy~

so honest and full of pain. enjoyed the
read though immensly...keep writing dear
poet, the pain in time begins to ease.

take care.
~amy~

forne_marin
Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina
7 posted 2004-05-07 10:31 AM


I'm going to use a terrible word, and it's "nice". This poem is nice. I enjoyed it. It had a nice sense of melancholy and came off as not too terrible sappy.

For a love poem, this wasn't so bad, but you and I both know you can do much better.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
8 posted 2004-05-08 11:29 AM


Well comeon give me a break. You know it's not my real style.
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