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Open Poetry #11
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my latest relationship
| Open Poetry #11 |
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my latest relationship |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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She told me we could be friends as long as it didn't require her time, patience, faith, money, sex, toothbrush, spare change, religion, car keys, or presence. I told her I was looking for something a little more human. This after copying over old files of my old girlfriend's and yelling at the mirror's calm reflection and violent surface. Her favorite game was Chrono Trigger. We were at this part where you have to walk through a maze of rusty robots. Now they'll be forever rusted, with the doors leading out of the maze open and empty. I'm not going to touch a game where she named the characters. The clock went bang like a gun. Then it went bang like a small earthquake. Then it went bang like a large heart attack. She told me we could be friends as long as it could be subtle and harmless. She, apparently, knows nothing. So we're made to last. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I do appreciate this--and not like you would listen to ME anyway...BUT RUN!!! I cannot stress that enough. Loved the poem. (Sorry, if i'm trite, but beer does that to me...) I truly do love the slices of absurdity you paint, with always the underlying wry commentary. Thanks mike...(and is it MY turn to "e"?) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She told me we could be friends as long as it didn't require her time, patience, faith, money, sex, toothbrush, spare change, religion, car keys, or presence. I told her I was looking for something a little more human. This after copying over old files of my old girlfriend's and yelling at the mirror's calm reflection and violent surface ==================== She told me we could be friends as long as it could be subtle and harmless. She, apparently, knows nothing. So we're made to last. ================ if only love could be this blind ... you write the ironies with such poignant impact ... "the mirror's calm reflection and violent surface" what a line that is Mike ... so simple, yet so layered and complex so honest as well ... take care poetic wise one me I looked into the sky for my anthem The words and music came through But words and music can never touch the beauty that I've seen Looking into you |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
S'en, Dont' worry, this isn't even entirely true. What is entirely true is that, yes, it's YOUR turn to "E"!  Butterfly Slippers, I always love to see what you pick as the best lines. And almost always, I agree. Mike |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Ah Mike I just love your work!...."the mirror's calm reflection and violent surface." so true.......I just love the satire of the whole piece, you are a master of this kind of writing...sometimes I just get laughing as I read it's so good ha ha as long as it didn't require all of those things she'd didn't want to give heh heh!! "So we're made to last" oh I had fun!! |
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liquidphantasy Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15california |
"She told me we could be friends as long as it didn't require her time, patience, faith, money, sex, toothbrush, spare change, religion, car keys, or presence." ROFL!!!!!!! All I can say is I can't stop laughing at that first stanza and the rest of the poem is excellent, too. But the first stanza is poetic perfection! You should write sarcastic comedy for a stand-up comedian. I loved this! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
e. and l., Thank you, thank you. Why should I write for a sarcastic comedian? I AM one! heh hehMike |
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