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Open Poetry #11
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just a ramble
| Open Poetry #11 |
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just a ramble |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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just a ramble times of consequence gave the result and effect, the product being and bringing the outcome and now the upshot was the corollary of the coronary that did him in and she had tried oh she had tried to save him from this very thing but he would bring it on himself could not find himself in the smile of her could not see in the while of her could not fathom in the hear of her nor the here of her as he rocketed toward a destruction that only he could attain in height and fright she was helpless and had to watch but she knew she had tried oh how she had tried but his ideal woman had crashed long before she came around and she had paid for his coming down to real her dreams had been his dreams at one time and perhaps if there had not been the his and hers of the theirs and theirs and if there had been just them from the start perhaps, just perhaps perhaps he would have cried at how much she tried but he had quit dreaming because of having been there and done that while she still had the been to go and the done to be achieved and she grieved at the loss that was forthcoming and knew she should cry now and ask why now but all her heart could say was bye now and her heart lifted a red tendril of hope and waved at what was and what could have been had he listened and wanted them as much as she had wanted them but he had been there and done that and if the first could let him down then why not the second as if he waited for the curtain to fall and she waited for the act to quit paralleling it onto the height he had once achieved when he flew the great steel when with grasp he felt real knowing that was his ideal and under his control like no person ever could be like no woman ever should be so she tried to hide the tears that were cried even before he ever died. Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
If I were to copy my favorite part, it'd be the entire poem!! My goodness, when you 'ramble' you make so much sense.......amazing....  -SEA |
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liquidphantasy Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15california |
This is an amazing piece of poetry. I wish I could ramble like that. It almost had me in tears. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
...she tried to hide the tears that were cried even before he ever died. =============================== 1derful, fabulous, heart wrenching. Why don't we listen to each other? Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Powerful and full of depth. A great poem. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Sunshine, You ramble beautifully my friend. This one just pulls you right along once you start reading it. Excellent writing. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Everest may be just a mountain Trafalgar may be just a fountain Our Anthem may be just a song And maybe Samson was "just" strong. The Bible may be just a book Capone may have been just a crook A huge bet may be just a gamble But your poems will NEVER be just a ramble! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I thoroughly expected this to drop...wow... SEA...the constant uplift of your surging wave gives me the thought that I might float...and gladdens me...thank you... LP...Welcome to Passions...if you had cried tears, SEA would have welcomed them, as I do...thank you... Interloper...I don't know...do you?...thank you for reading... Dragonpoe...from your lips...thank you... LoneWolf, it pulled me, too...thank you... 'Deer...all of what you said,...remarkable...but the Bible...is not just a book...that you would place this in the same phrase...remarkable...I thank you...it is a most welcome gift after all... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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