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Open Poetry #11
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Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada

0 posted 2000-12-04 07:48 PM


Desire Becomes Life
Karen Torbiak
2000

A gasp becomes a shout
look skyward I would share
brilliance streaks the darkness
A gasp becomes a stare

A stare becomes a dream
making my heart to spin
wrapped in fantasy
A stare becomes a grin

A grin becomes a smile
your eyes light my skies
with sparkles of delight
A grin becomes a sigh

A sigh becomes a moan
your touch sets the fire
kissed from lover's lips
A sigh becomes desire

Desire becomes love
free from all hurt and strife
passions flow deep within
Desire becomes life




Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com


© Copyright 2000 Karen Torbiak - All Rights Reserved
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2000-12-04 08:02 PM


Karen,

Beautifully romantic poetry that always flows from your pen.  This is no exception.  Well done my friend.  He is lucky indeed.  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2000-12-04 10:30 PM


Thank you so much Lone Wolf. *sigh* but as life has it, there is no he. I write from pure fantasy. Much love to you from me.

Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-12-04 10:37 PM


Well, then, your fantasy is alive and well! This is great....a circle of life type of message, one thing creating another. I love it...
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-12-05 08:25 PM


wonderful Startime. . .

your words move wonderfully. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2000-12-05 09:17 PM


I love the style of this one Karen!! I love how you structured the poem to make such emphasis on the philosopical angle which you turned into love and life...really good!!!
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2000-12-05 09:35 PM


Keep writing like this and there will be!!  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
7 posted 2000-12-06 09:40 AM


Karen...

beautiful! i really loved how you
constructed the flow of this, allowing
each verse to be based on the one previous
to it. very clever and actually a very
beautiful poem indeed. *sighs*

"Desire becomes love
free from all hurt and strife
passions flow deep within
Desire becomes life"

simply beautiful...

take care.
~amy~

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-12-06 11:04 AM


I am sure that your dream will soon become reality if you shine half as much as the love and desire you put into this wonderful piece.  Lovely write and beautifully illustrated in your heart's mind.

A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
author unknown


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