navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » The Way I Am (repost)
Open Poetry #11
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Way I Am (repost) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio

0 posted 2000-12-03 03:20 AM


hello yall
i wrote this awhile back and posted it in dark passions.  i am posting it here to get a feel for the place.  i wanna post here but dont know if yall will like my stuff.  or if it is to dark.  let me know what yall think.  thanks and i hope yall like it.

The Way I Am

So you think you know me??
You think you know whats in my mind
well take my hand and walk with me
lets see what you will find
there arent to many people
that have seen the real me
they have only seen my wonderful acting
showing them what i want them to see
but that person isnt me
my life just a foolish game
deep down i am just lonley southern rebel
branded with an outlaws name
living off of wasted dreamz and memories
that i let slip right threw my hands
i aint even a human any more
just a lonesome shell of a man
on the outside
i am a fresh and shining light
but on the inside
my heart is as black as night
raised out on the streets
doing what i had to to survive
gang fights and drive by shootings
hell i am lucky to be alive
always moving around from town to town
gypsy blood flows threw my viens
i moved 17 times in 20 years
thats enough to drive a man insane
i was raised by my mother
cuz my father didnt care
he was off with my moms best friend
having an affair
left alone most of my life
using darkness as my guide
with a guitar in my hands
and a switchblade at my side
i have been shot at, stabed
beat up and pushed around
i have been raised up with the kings
and thrown to the ground
a heart made of stone
that no one could get threw
i thought thats how it was
until the day that i met you
It was you who broke down the walls,
You who taught this heart to love,
You who showed me light instead of darkness,
Your my angel from above
so i changed all of my ways
and moved down south to be with you
i gave up everything i had
cuz i knew this love was true
i was finaly living my dreamz
i was were i always wanted to be
i had a love, good friends, a stable home
even had a trip to the sea
i was oh so happy
when i was laying in your arms
you always held me close and comfort me
and protected me from harm
but then one cold day in june
that all came crashing to an end
you said that you have found another
and that we should be only friends
i couldnt beleave my ears
i didnt want to beleave that it was true
that i will never be back home in virginia
and that forever i have lost you
all of my hope
went flowing down the drain
i broke down and started to cry
tear fell from my eyes like rain
i always said that we were fate
brought together by the angels from above
so no matter what i will always care for you
you will always be my true love
i know you are married now
and that pain cuts me like a knife
cuz it should have been me walking down that isle
i should be the one calling you my wife
you still say that i am the man of your dreamz
and that no one will know you like me
if this is all still true
then why didnt you marry me??
it happened agian
my heart shatterd in two
all happening the night
that i lost you
so now you know the real me
the broken angel that i am
not the happy loving soul
that everyone thinks i am
so its back to the streets for me
once again i have lost my way
waiting for another person to love me
and take my pain away...

Jesse C. Jaymz


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

© Copyright 2000 Jesse Jaymz - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2000-12-03 06:06 AM


Great writing from the soul Jesse and these things are a part of this imperfect life we live ...this poem goes from harsh to sensitive and back again and I think it takes courage to face the challenge of this poem.. I'd say I thoroughly enjoyed your story even though it's sad it still holds beauty and beauty will come again...
"There's always sunhine after rain."
M. Knopfler

have a good day and write something to spill the heart again......ethome

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
2 posted 2000-12-03 06:36 AM


Jesse,
In this life we take some knocks
reach the sky and bear the shocks
smooth as silk or trouble to hocks
Let me just say your poetry rocks.

Btw did you mean to spell "threw" like that. I would have spelled it through, or thru ( for America.
Write on
Kethry


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant - Thoreau



Wishmaster
Junior Member
since 2000-12-03
Posts 24
Luton, Bedfordshire, England
3 posted 2000-12-03 06:47 AM


Such a sad story but one that is so familiar to many people. There is love out there and it will find you. You do not need to look for it.

Your poem depicts a good trip through the resevoir of emotions that play our souls daily. How often we are misunderstood by those around us.

Wishmaster.

~ You cannot be what you want to be if you do not know who you are ~

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
4 posted 2000-12-03 03:35 PM


ethome:  thank you for the reply.  i am glad you enjoyed it.  and i hope one day that i can write happy agian.  thanks

Kethry:  *hugs*  thanks for that cute little poem.  that made me smile.  and i havent done that in days.  thank you.  and for my spelling.  i proboly meant though.  i cant spell very well.     i need a spell check.  hehehehe.

Wishmaster:  thanks.  i was nervous when i first posted this.  scared what people would think of me and my writing.  its a very personal poem and i am glad people like it     thanks.
peace and love to all
jesse


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

5 posted 2000-12-03 05:45 PM


Good to see you posting here Jesse..nicely written..hope to read more of your poems...HUGS

                 ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
6 posted 2000-12-03 09:20 PM


thanks victoria  

Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
7 posted 2000-12-04 07:46 AM


Jesse,

   You didn't tell me you were gonna come over!  I'm glad you took my advice and did I liked this poemt the first time I wrote it and I like it now. You are a wonderful writer.  You will find happiness again.  Until then, keep writing your beautiful poetry to express your pain and know that I am here for you always.

Warm hugs to you my dear friend.



~~Tara aka rp25 :o)

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
8 posted 2000-12-04 04:32 PM


tara:  *hugs*  if there was a person that i owe the world to it would be you.  thank you so much.  *huggles*  i owe you everything.  and if it wasnt for you i wouldnt have anything.  i know its alittle late for giving thanks but i give thanks for a loving caring friend like you.  *hugs*  thanks hun.  catch you soon.
love ya
jesse


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » The Way I Am (repost)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary