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Open Poetry #11
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-12-03 02:15 AM


Five sentences--
all he wrote--
and I was come undone...
all resolve, dissolved...
He wrote.
Now I, outshine the sun.

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2000-12-03 02:35 AM


Ah! he got you again didn't he Celeste? I can see you outshining the sun...smile from ear to ear...I hope he appreciates the fact that he's uncovered Louisiana treasure...rainbows to you sweet poet lady...ethome
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-12-03 07:35 AM


I would surely like you to whisper to me what those five lines contained...I see the brilliance coming in...so brightly I cannot discern the magic of the words...so whisper, serenity...whisper!...{~,^}

This was wonderful!


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
3 posted 2000-12-03 08:17 AM


wonderful penned, love it.

Charisma

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2000-12-03 10:29 AM


succinct, not a word wasted, purposeful, wonderful!! i really love the last line, especially!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-12-03 10:44 AM


and I was come undone...
=====================
Now I, outshine the sun.
=====================
you always have me sweet...you always have.
*kisskiss*
love ya undone in the sun  
me



I looked into the sky for my anthem
The words and music came through
But words and music can never touch the beauty that I've seen
Looking into you

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-12-04 09:28 AM


ethome, you really are the sweetest thing! I thank you so much for your generosity and kind understanding.

Karilea...whispers?  Oh yes, I must, I must, LOL...thank you!

Charisma, thank you for reading, m'friend!

doreen? I think it may be an illness with me...sighs...but it feels good for now.

Janet? undone in the sun...oh yeah...lol...what a rush!  Hugs and joy to m'twin!!!

Thanks all, off to read again...

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