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Open Poetry #11
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Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

0 posted 2000-11-29 04:42 PM



Last night, a fire appeared,
in the middle of nowhere,
as the people in the town of Everclear,
looked on complete silence and fear.

The fire started in an old vacant shack,
where junkies used to go and smoke crack.
The fire intensified,
as smoke blew to the sky.

The color of the fire was orange-yellow,
as it filled the night-sky, with an errie glow.
Minutes later, the fireman arrived on sight,
hopping to kiss this devilish fire goodnight.

Their sincere efforts were lame,
as the fire grew hotter by the minute
as the fire seemed to stay the same,
as it had some kind of hell within it.

Everyone just stared in complete silence and shock,
as if the fire had made-up its mind, when to stop.
Suddenly, the fire frowned before it dissapeared
as if it's existance, had never been there.

The police arrived at the scene around 12:16
hopping to find evidence of some arsony.
They saids that,"there was nothing to be found,
no flammable things, or matchsticks on the ground".

Everyone was in further silence and shock,
in the turn of events of when the fire stopped
as it was night that noone would forget
because, it was a fire that noone had set.

© Copyright 2000 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-11-29 04:52 PM


Nate~ Fantastic write!!   -SEA
Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
2 posted 2000-11-29 07:14 PM


Nate,
Good impressions, well written.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
3 posted 2000-11-29 07:20 PM


wonderful done Nate.
loved reading this excellent piece.

Charisma

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-12-01 03:06 AM


Nate, my friend~
This is a marvelous piece.
I'm in awe at these lines -

'as the fire grew hotter by the minute
as the fire seemed to stay the same,
as it had some kind of hell within it.'


Thank you for sharing.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
5 posted 2000-12-01 11:47 AM


Wow, I can't believe the compliments I got for this piece because I really don't believe that my poem is as good that you say it is but however, a compliment is a compliment and I shall take it....thank you Sea, Marge, Charisma, and Daniel for your fantastic comments!

Nathan

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-12-01 11:51 AM




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-12-01 12:04 PM


Nathan it's a good thing that we are not
asked to judge our own work...lol this IS
fantastic!!!  Wow, the imagery and the
intensity and then the ending...what a weave!
And any other weaves that you are thinking
aren't that good...submit them...so we can
be "wowed"!!!!


The best and most beautiful things
in the world cannot be seen or even touched
---- they must be felt with the heart~
*??*

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2000-12-01 03:16 PM


Aha..very intereting Nate...James
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

9 posted 2000-12-01 05:31 PM


enjoyed nate..i read what you said about not thinking it is that good...i feel the same sometimes..seems like the ones i dont like are the ones others like haa..strange isnt it..

                 ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
10 posted 2000-12-02 01:22 AM


Nathan..what an erie write here...and it is good...spooky but good...
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
11 posted 2000-12-03 02:10 AM



Nate-
   wow...this is awesome!!
   such wonderful imagery...i could
   almost feel the heat as i read...

     'as the fire grew hotter by the minute
     as the fire seemed to stay the same,
     as it had some kind of hell within it.'

   i have to agree with Marge...these
   lines are excellent...
   incredible write!!

   ~vicky




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2000-12-03 02:45 AM


Hey Nate!  very good!! a fire with a mind of it's own.... I love how the title sets up the content....great write!!....ethome
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
13 posted 2000-12-04 02:32 PM


Wow, you people just keep making me smile.....I still don't think it's that good but I am very pleased that y'll seem to like it so thanks to all my previous posters!

Love ya,

Nathan

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