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Open Poetry #11
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Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast

0 posted 2000-11-29 04:13 PM


My smile, you say
transforms the gray into
hot sizzling sun
brightening the dark areas
of life that frighten some
and cause others to give up
in dispair...

My eyes, you say
endless & deep, can cause
the most hardened of hearts
to melt into dripping surrender
longing to swim if only once more
in their tender innocence
and remember forever...

My skin, you say
with it's own tantalizing
flowery, sultry fragrance
beckons even butterflies onto
a collision course with me
just to attempt a sample,
a taste of pure magic

My touch, you say
is the true force behind
electricity's shock,
rocking the souls of the
unwary, taking them to
delirious heights of passion

My love, you say
is all that you ever needed
to survive in this crazy sphere
of a world where the only thing
certain is uncertainty,
and your love for me...

Dearest lover,
how I do love the way
you beg...

-Tier {R.T.}
10/00




[This message has been edited by Tiersdin (edited 11-29-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 R.T. Webster-Mosby - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2000-11-29 04:14 PM


This is absolutely lovely, breathtaking, but I have to admit I thought the last line was going to say "the way you LOVE"
but I loved it, so poetic.

What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman



SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2000-11-29 04:18 PM


Tiersdin~ this is the most romantic begging I think I've ever heard..........*SIGH*....... -SEA
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
3 posted 2000-11-29 05:08 PM



Irish Rose: You know, I'd actually toyed with that last line, but settled for tying in the title at the bottom. *smiles*  you know how we poets are, you press send, then bite your nails! *chuckles*  thanks for taking the time to read it, I truly appreciate it!

SEA: Thank you so much! That's exactly what I was going for! *smiles*

-Tier


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2000-11-29 05:12 PM


perhaps, not so much in begging, as in ... speaking the truth?

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
5 posted 2000-11-29 05:27 PM


Hello Sunshine!  Perhaps it's equal parts of both... pondering...

*smiles*

-Tier

Tony Abbot
Member
since 2000-11-18
Posts 209
North Wales,UK
6 posted 2000-11-29 05:33 PM


She sounds healthy for your ego.Great poem,thanks.

'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
7 posted 2000-11-29 06:19 PM




hi Tony, Thanks for reading and commenting. This poem was created with the words that my husband has spoken to me many times. I don't know if ego enters the picture, but I can honestly say that I never tire of recieving the compliments."

*smiles*
-Tier

PaulF
Junior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 19

8 posted 2000-11-29 06:21 PM


Beautiful words here, someone obviously thinks very highly of you.

Paul

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
9 posted 2000-11-29 06:30 PM




Thank you, Paul, I like to think that this is the case.

*smiles*
-Tier

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
10 posted 2000-11-29 07:09 PM


Tiersden,
A "Real Love Beg". Well done.



Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2000-11-30 02:39 PM


Really neat poem...I couldn't understand the use of the beg...but with an explanation I understand...like the way it fit in...James
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2000-11-30 02:40 PM


Really neat poem...I couldn't understand the use of the beg...but with an explanation I understand...like the way it fit in...James
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
13 posted 2000-11-30 03:27 PM


loved and enjoyed reading it....excellent penned.

Charisma

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2000-11-30 04:45 PM


My skin, you say
with it's own tantalizing
flowery, sultry fragrance
beckons even butterflies onto
a collision course with me
just to attempt a sample,
a taste of pure magic

=================
My love, you say
is all that you ever needed
to survive in this crazy sphere
of a world where the only thing
certain is uncertainty,
and your love for me...

Dearest lover,
how I do love the way
you beg...
===================
wonderful writing here...
written from a unique point of view...
excellent use of imagery, metaphor and comparisons
love the butterfly colliding verse...very cool and unique
very well done
take care
jm

Sprayed across my heart and hers
Danced butterflies in the wild
This angel, this woman ,
who loves me with the innocence of a child.
~DeVante~

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
15 posted 2000-12-01 07:55 PM



Daniel JD: Thank you for reading. That's exactly what it is, a love beg... and a very tender one at that...

jm12345: I'm glad that you were finally able to understand what I meant. *smiles*  thanks for taking the time on it.

Charisma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I think most poets love to see the word "excellent" in connection with their works.

Janet Marie: Thanks for the indepth appraisal of my poem.  I'm not very good at giving such, so therefore I appreciate it that much more when I recieve it.

*smiles*
-Tier

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