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Open Poetry #11
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Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri

0 posted 2000-11-29 02:22 PM


She slipped the ring off
   her finger
Placed it on his bedside
   stand
Right there by his pager
   and his phone
A single tear coursed down
   her cheek
A final drop from rivers
   run dry
By too many years of excuses
   and alibis
There would be no more
   tomorrows
Just many more lonely
   nights
But those she had  
   grown used to
And she turned to say
   goodbye
The shock upon his
   face
Made her stumble in her
   tracks
He never thought she'd
   leave
And he wonders how
   to get her back
I love you doesnt say
   all you need to hear
For all the times I've
   left you lonely
And crying bitter
   tears
I never meant to hurt you
   or lose this love so sweet
I'll do whatever it takes
   to keep you here
I'm begging baby...please
   dont leave.

That band of gold
   lies silent
Upon his bedside
   stand
A memory of love
   once held
That he let slip right
   through his hands




© Copyright 2000 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-11-29 02:25 PM


and it can happen that fast...

you did yourself proud on this one Paula....


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2000-11-29 02:26 PM


How heartbreakingly sad this is. Sometimes we do not realize the true value of something until we have lost it and often by then it is too late. I always hurt when someone's love comes to an end. Thank you so much for this read, my friend.

Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. [URL=http://path2riches.com]http://path2riches.com

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2000-11-29 02:32 PM


I have experienced this point of no return...no matter what the other does it will not be enough...the opportunity has come and gone...James
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2000-11-29 02:42 PM


Paula~ you did a wonderful job expressing the heartache of when it is over......this is so sad...... -SEA
kat
Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387

5 posted 2000-11-29 03:29 PM


Paula:  This is so beautiful yet so sad. It's sad when it comes to this and it's even worst when something precious slips away because someone refused to see it at the time. I can really relate to this one. Thanks for sharing!  

kat

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
6 posted 2000-11-29 03:33 PM


Paula,
It's so sad when it's over. Thanks for posting this and for bringing it full circle to resolution.
Write on
Kethry


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant - Thoreau


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2000-11-29 04:09 PM


It took courage to write and post this.
If it is a personal situation, if not, that means you have much emphathy.


What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman



Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
8 posted 2000-11-29 04:17 PM


this is an awesome, heartfelt poem....
excellent write.

((warm hugs))
Charisma

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
9 posted 2000-11-29 05:49 PM


Paula, this is utterly an amazing wonderful write from you. And how many of us have been there and done that. You have excelled yourself love, this is truly brilliant. I really love this one. Very well done.
Take care
               Mushy
                  


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
10 posted 2000-11-29 06:03 PM


Great piece here Paula...I like the way you compared the ring to how their love slpped away.....that was brilliant thinking...thanks for sharing!

Nathan

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
11 posted 2000-11-29 06:19 PM


Excellent write, Paula!  Great expression of the heart!  Love it!!

sp  


'cause I am hanging on every word you say, and, even if you don't want to speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me...

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
12 posted 2000-11-29 06:55 PM


Paula,
You show deep emotions and such sadness here. I hurt all the way reading each and every line. I hope you are fine, please write, I'll listen.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

soozieque_28
Junior Member
since 2000-11-28
Posts 28
Tennessee
13 posted 2000-11-29 08:14 PM


Tis is a great poem..It seems really personal. It is sad and heartbreaking, but I enjoyed it.
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
14 posted 2000-11-29 08:31 PM


Paula...beautiful, sadly so, but wonderfully expressed.  Heartbeats, my friend.

jwesley

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
15 posted 2000-11-30 02:10 AM


Sunshine...yes in the blink of an eye...or the beat of a heart...thank you

Startime...sometimes we get all wrapped up in outside things and forget whats really important in life...thank you

James...yes my sweet friend...sometimes there isnt a tomorrow...we tend to forget that...thanks

Sea...I think goodbye is one of the worst kinds of sad...especially when its an unnecessary goodbye...thank you

Kat...when we take something for granted we tend to forget just how precious it truly is...thank you

Kethry...is pain ever really resolved or do we just bury it so deep we can pretend to forget? Thank you sweet friend

Irish Rose...mayhaps a little of both...thank you

Charisma...thank you for the hugs and the sweet words

Marsha...you are a constant source of encouragement and delight for me...with your sweet wonderful words...there is a new KNIGHT on the horizon dear one...

Nathan...for a woman taking off her ring is very symbolic...it is that last bit of hope gone...thank you

sp...thank you so much

Daniel...I am fine my friend and I did write...yes its sad...goodbyes usually are tho...thank you

Soozieque...it is personal...and I'm glad you enjoyed it...thank you

Jimmy...from my heart to yours thank you



lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
16 posted 2000-11-30 03:48 AM


Hi Paula,
Yeah, I'm awake too. This is pretty heartfelt and I thought I should tell you so.

love ya poetess

dale


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2000-11-30 08:04 AM


Hey Paula great poem and story and I can see how it could happen very easily...you can't take the things you love for granted it never works  good stuff!! kiddo ......ethome
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
18 posted 2000-12-01 01:35 AM


Dale...dont you sleep either? I appreciate that you took the time to read and respond and that you FELT this...love ya too

ethome...thanks sweet poet man...trust me I will never take you for granted...you are too special for that


Ignore those who would clip your wings...fly ever upward...even if it means scorched wings



vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
19 posted 2000-12-02 03:42 AM



Paula-
  wow..such deep heartache in this piece.
  you've expressed it well.
  excellent write...

  ~vicky




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
20 posted 2000-12-02 12:59 PM


Vicky...thank you...goodbyes can be heartbreaking
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
21 posted 2000-12-02 01:10 PM


Perfectly written to show your message.

I'm an incurable romantic and I want so much for there to be something he can do to change the decision.  No not just words, but actions.  I wonder so what he must have done, what pain he must have caused that his words, that seemed so true, could not be true enough.

This poem was like a song that has been cut off by the power going out...the unfinished resolution hangs in the air, screaming to occur...like the ring at the bottom of this piece keeps spinning, yet never coming to a rest...for no rest is possible...the pain, the longing, will not rest.  I ache from the read. I ache.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
22 posted 2000-12-07 02:39 AM


VAS...Oh I just love your reply...you saw so much in this poem...all the pain and the futility and the hope...can he get her back? I dont know...can she ever trust him to change? I dont know...
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

23 posted 2000-12-07 02:55 AM


---------------------------------------------
And he wonders how
   to get her back
I love you doesnt say
   all you need to hear
For all the times I've
   left you lonely
And crying bitter
   tears

That band of gold
   lies silent
Upon his bedside
   stand
A memory of love
   once held
That he let slip right
   through his hands
---------------------------------------------

PAULA, this one hurts...

I read your poem twice and I wonder can one just walk away and put that ring on shelf even though streams of tears and lonely cool breeze of night is what is left of her heart to feel...

Can a heart that loves like this which feels such emotion truly move on from the emptiness of hurt his shadow has left her...

Hmmmm ya got me pondering about this way too much   but then again thinking is good when hurt needs to be let go...

coco





[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 12-07-2000).]

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