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Open Poetry #11
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When The Last Tear Drop Falls (1st attempt at free verse)
| Open Poetry #11 |
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When The Last Tear Drop Falls (1st attempt at free verse) |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC 
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"When the Last Tear Drop Falls" We talk to each other, trying to communicate Seems we talk in circles, never accomplishing much You blame yourself for her weaknesses And I scream out to you to get your attention As I begin to fall deeper...farther...harder My words fall on deaf ears Day in and out it's the same Nothing much changes, just a different day Reality slowly creeping into my mind and soul The mountains we have to climb Seem to multiply crumbling...seperating...destroying The love that we have Still we fight on Knowing what we have is true Hard to fight obstacles When you can't see what it is that you are fighting against Black darkness settling in uneasy....frightening...uncontrollable As time ticks on by endlessly Not giving in Sitting here as tears fall down my cheeks Does anyone even realize I exist Or that my heart is breaking into two I will give up When the last tear drop falls [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 11-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Amy Kennedy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Amy, Dear, This is very lovely....You should try free verse more often. And remember... As the last teardrop falls so begins the beginning of a smile  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Amy! What a wonderful first attempt at free verse! The message comes through loud and clear! Now, give us some more... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Amy girl, this is wonderful, it really truly is. For a first attempt it's magnificent, I just say more because this is beautiful. There is light at the end of the tunnel love, it's really hard to keep your eyes fixed on the light. I know, but remember, distance cannot break the bond, it can't you and your love will be together. My true love hath my heart, and I have his By just exchange, one for the other given I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss There never was a better bargain driven His heart in me keeps me and him in one My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides He loves my heart for once it was his own I cherish his because in me it bides His heart his wound recieved from my sight My heart was wounded with his wounded heart For as from me on him his hurt did light So still methought in me his hurt did smart Both equal hurt in this charge sought our bliss My true love hath my heart and I have his Sir Phillip Sidney (1554 - 1586) I thought this might help you, while my love is away it helps me. Look after yourself and if you need me you know where I am. Take care Mushy  < !signature--> Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning [This message has been edited by Marsha (edited 11-27-2000).] |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Ah sweet winged one...this is so beautiful...delicate and perfect as each tear that falls...the pain in it is etched within each line...excellent weaving my friend...writing in "free" verse just the way that you should live and fly~ You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
wonderful Amy!! I see that we have many trying these waters lately. . . all have been excellent. . . Now, like Sunshine said. . . again. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Free verse allows us so much. I hope you write more in this style, I think it suits you very well! What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life. Walt Whitman |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
with every word you grow as a poet... wonderful writing Amy... expressive and emotively strong and the title is perfect. stronger every day my sunshine girlie with each tear you will more determined with each poem you heal loveya me Sprayed across my heart and hers Danced butterflies in the wild This angel, this woman , who loves me with the innocence of a child. ~DeVante~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Yep, I definitely think you should try more free-verse. Very well done! jwesley |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Amy--great expression of emotion and the reality of problems in a relationship. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Thank you all for your wonderful heartfelt replies. As always, I am amazed at the love and pure honest emotion that is within these walls. You all are amazing. This girl feels very blessed to know and be touched by all of you. Love ya, ~amy~ |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Amy, this is terrific, nice to see you do free verse hon, looking forward to more btw, I'm with Jeffrey.... As the last teardrop falls so begins the beginning of a smile Wonderful stuff Dear "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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