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Open Poetry #11
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Mereel79
New Member
since 2000-11-27
Posts 8
Milwaukie, OR, USA

0 posted 2000-11-27 10:23 AM


A lifetime spent watching you grow up through my eyes
You're good mornings and your good evenings, your hello's and good-byes
To look at you now with nothing at all to show
It makes me so sick, I wish I could just get up and go

But no I must stay, I can never leave your side
In your shadow I will try to hide
Can't get a job, can't find a girl
Can't find the path that will take you into the world

I don't know what keeps you here I don't know what makes you stay
It would be so nice for you to just vanish and go away
But this will never happen due to shear terror
I will just watch you as many times as you look into any mirror

-I never consider myself much of a writer, just an outlet for myself I guess. A heart of a poet is what I always say, even if I am the only one to enjoy my works, it will be worth it. My form will hopefully get better in time, it's still only my second poem ever written.-

© Copyright 2000 James Ross - All Rights Reserved
Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

1 posted 2000-11-27 10:27 AM


The bare honesty in this is outstanding.  I applaud.  If this is your only your second poem I can't wait to see more!!!!!

Welcome......I truly enjoyed.      You have a definite gift for writing.......

To capture and live a moment is truly living

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2000-11-27 10:43 AM


You show wonderful talent in these hearfelt words, my friend. I would love to read more. Thank you so very much for the read.

Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. [URL=http://path2riches.com]http://path2riches.com

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-11-27 11:19 AM


Welcome to our world...the only definition of a poet is the one you make for yourself...this is very well written and very powerful...and yes you do learn and grow the more you write...so keep writing ok?
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2000-11-27 11:40 AM


this was wonderful and i really
liked the style. welcome to passions.
in my opinion, any time a person writes
from their heart or is expressing them
selves through words, that is poetry and
this is POETRY, good poetry in fact. you
2nd only? WOW. You should see my first
works hehe. Seriously, keep writing,
and stay here at Passions. This place is
full of a lot of wonderful people. Looking
forward to reading more from you.

Take care.
~amy~

Mereel79
New Member
since 2000-11-27
Posts 8
Milwaukie, OR, USA
5 posted 2000-11-27 12:35 PM


It means a lot to hear all the words people are saying. Thank you all.< !signature-->

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance


[This message has been edited by Mereel79 (edited 11-27-2000).]

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2000-11-27 12:46 PM


Welcome to Passions.  Here, you will find just about anything to encourage you to write. There is critique for those who really want to get serious, or just pour your heart out, I know I've never been disappointed here, and I hope you aren't either!


What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-11-27 02:47 PM


this is an outstanding effort...
you show a depth of need to expell these emotions...
and your expressions are indeed emotive ...
for me the release that comes in writing out these feeling is the only reason I started writing ... somewhere to go with the intensity...
I am very impressed with this...and in the fact you say its only the second one youve wrote..
it is an excellent early effort...
and a far cry above the "beginners poetry" I wrote early on...
I see much poetic potential...I hope you will continue to write...
and as I did .. you will find many avenues of growth and inspiration here in this special place.
Welcome to passions...
next time you look in the mirror ...
say hello to the poet  
take care
jm

Sprayed across my heart and hers
Danced butterflies in the wild
This angel, this woman ,
who loves me with the innocence of a child.
~DeVante~

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
8 posted 2000-11-27 03:13 PM


Let me start by saying Welecome here to Passions. Next let me say never under estimate your writting. When writing from the heart and soul there never is any thing bad about it. Pat yourself on the back. This poem I did enjoy reading. Look forward to more  
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
9 posted 2000-11-27 03:33 PM


Welcome to passions....and I really enjoyed your poem... you have expressed your feelings very good.

Charisma

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2000-11-27 03:43 PM


Only one person besides me has ever read my earliest efforts... and I'm not sure whether that could be called trusting or torturing. LOL. Keep writing... and welcome! *S*
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