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Open Poetry #11
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-11-26 04:24 PM



Ethereal Sound

She sits in the orchestra pit
in the dark,
the stage is empty,
but if you listen closely
you can hear as the heavy maroon curtains
sway as if something had whispered by
leaving soul prints of sound
dust swirls of a moment time melted
and fused to the hardwood floor.

She is covered with shadows
as her tapered fingers reach out
and pluck the air
and her eyes close like soft shades
across the pale glow of her cheek.

She is electrifying the air around her
the empty chairs vibrate into a hum
and on the stage the grand piano
that had been closed and mute
opens and the keys move in and out
as a scale falls across the dark
that only she can hear
and for just a minute she looks up
and nods in that direction
then like pearls her eyes fall
into the stagnate air.

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-11-26 04:30 PM


You know Martie ... just when I think I've read the most beautiful work from you yet ... you astound me with something like this treasure yet again. What an incredible portrait you penned. I could see this as clearly as if I were hiding in the back rows, watching from a distance, almost hearing the sounds as she reminsces ... exceptional Martie!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 11-26-2000).]

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2000-11-26 04:49 PM


This is a very well written poem, Martie, is weaves a story, makes the reader feel they are there and you've made it flow. I really liked this one.


What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-11-26 06:14 PM


but if you listen closely
you can hear as the heavy maroon curtains
sway as if something had whispered by
leaving soul prints of sound
dust swirls of a moment time melted
and fused to the hardwood floor.

She is covered with shadows
as her tapered fingers reach out
and pluck the air
and her eyes close like soft shades
across the pale glow of her cheek.
==============
as a scale falls across the dark
that only she can hear
and for just a minute she looks up
and nods in that direction
then like pearls her eyes fall
===============
and you create the same magic and grace with your pen ...
and may I echo Kit's perfectly said comments...
exceptional, yes and add enchanting and exquisite...
yes..indeed
me

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-11-26 06:46 PM


Martie~
Visions from the front row -
just a lovely and nostalgic piece of writing.
You made me hear the music.
I thank you for that.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Tony Abbot
Member
since 2000-11-18
Posts 209
North Wales,UK
5 posted 2000-11-26 06:50 PM


You've really captured the magic of music with this piece.Quite enchanting.

'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
6 posted 2000-11-26 06:51 PM


Martie, this is utterly beautiful, I'm constantly amazed at how each time your poems are more and more beautiful. This is yet another perfect gem. I truly love it.
Take care
                Mushy Marsha
                      


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-11-26 11:20 PM


Kit--You do have the most lovely way of replying...thank you for that.

Kathleen--that's just what I wanted to do..thanks for telling me.

Janet--I thank you for your friendship and your way with words.

Marge--If you could hear the music then I am very pleased.

Tony--Thank you so much for stopping to read and for that word enchanting...love it!

Marsha--I'm so glad that you enjoyed this poem...thanks so much for telling me how much.

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

8 posted 2000-11-26 11:50 PM


*applause*

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2000-11-27 09:57 PM


Very lovely, Martie! I could hear the music too!

Denise

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2000-11-27 10:08 PM


Another beautiful, captivating and magical poem by you Martie, I love where you take me. Can't wait for the next trip  

then like pearls her eyes fall
into the stagnate air.

sigghhhh

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2000-11-27 10:36 PM


This is it, Martie...it's number one on my list of all your work. I could actually see, not only the actions being performed, but also inside her mind. I could read her thoughts and share in her imagination...and you did it all without a leaf falling or a season turning!

This poem is exquisite, dear Martie. I love it!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2000-11-27 11:22 PM


oh boy oh boy oh boy...I love this one...

and I'll get to my promise "soon"...hugs...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
13 posted 2000-11-29 07:33 AM


better late than never  

the closure was just terrific, perhaps one of your best... i would love to say much more but haven't time right now..

you are very very talented

P

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
14 posted 2000-11-29 01:13 PM


I go away for a few days - and you are inspired to write (So far I've found) 3 great poems - each on a different subject each a masterpiece in its own right! - wow - double wow - - must I stay away? I hope not!
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

15 posted 2000-12-28 08:48 PM



hi Martie, I came across this one and I'm here to say how much I enjoyed reading this tonite...

It's an exquisite write...
Coco

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2000-12-28 09:15 PM


I must thank Coco for bringing this back up and to my attention that I hadn't thanked a few people for their replies...I'm so sorry!

Mike--thank you for the applause...a curtsy here.

Denise--thank you again for being there.

Maree--Thanks hon for the sigh.

Balladeer--what wonderful words you say...make me feel good, my friend..thank you.

Sunshine...I'm always so glad to see you.

Philip--you make me blush.

Bill...No, don't go away.

Coco--thank you so much for bringing this back up and for your kind comment.

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