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Open Poetry #11
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Heart Tones (my first attempt at free verse)
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Heart Tones (my first attempt at free verse) |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
can you hear me sighing into your heart with the softest touch velvety satiny feathery speaking of my dreams sharing all of yours embracing as we glide floating drifting soaring look in my eyes do you see yourself believe my love is true deep constant strong hear the words of my soul calling your name feel this ache within me needing wanting begging I need you to fill me join me here on heaven’s doorstep serene tranquil contented extend your hand reach for me I’m here before you waiting beckoning inviting calling your name in my heart you reside giving me reason to go on assurance purpose hope just call to me allow me to enter I am yours forever always never [This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 11-25-2000).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I hope I am first to applaud your first attempt at free verse...the ending caught me by surprise, so therefore, I had to read it twice...lol... well done, little one... write on! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
can you see me smilng from there me sweet??? you already know how much I love this one... and how much a enjoy seeing you stretch those poetic butterfly wings  this is BEAUTIFUL girlie... written feather light and dreamy... like a sweetly whispered promise in the morns dawning ... like a sweetly kept secret ... you flame is glowing a lovely shade of "Holly Blue" me SS love this one.... and the poet who wrote it me |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
BDC, Woman what have you done to me? This is your first attempt and it's already beyond magnificent. Write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
this is sooooooo beautiful, stunning.... loved it very much... Charisma |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Simply beautiful. You did a great job writing free verse! Deb |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Oh, you wonderful child! This is very excellent writing....the right words written with just the right touch....free verse looks very good on you!  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
First attempt, eh? This floated like a butterfly, m'girl...and I agree, you wear it well. I'm grinning with the twin on this one...proud of you, and am awaiting the next one...except the next one...not free--charge admission!!! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Sunshine* Thank you so much...I value your opinion and appreciate your reply very much~ JM* Well you KNOW that this would have never seen the light of day if not for you...and whether it be biased love or that you just feel sorry for me...lol I appreciate you baby...thank you~ Kethry* I'm truly touched....thank you so very much~ Charisma* You are to kind sweetie...thank you so much~ Deb* It was more of a ramble...lol Janet re-named it poetry for me...thank you much~ 'Deer* Awwwe promise a man a sled ride and some hot chocolate and he'll say anything Thank you...you know I never take your comments lightly~ S'en* Yeppers..the VERY first...never got more than one line down on any others...lol and admission??? You mean I'll have to pay people to read...running to the bank now Thanks sweetie...means the world to me~ |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Butterflies, Just stunningly beautiful, well done. Be in touch soon, still very busy. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Holly- wow...this is really beautiful.. you are a natural at free-verse. if you hadn't told me, i would NEVER have known this was your first attempt. this was MORE than an attempt...this is SUCCESS!! Love it!!! hugs to you, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'I need you to fill me join me here on heaven’s doorstep serene tranquil contented extend your hand reach for me I’m here before you waiting beckoning inviting' Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. As others have said, you are a natural at free verse. This is a stunning write, butterflies. Love it!! sp  I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me... |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
PERFECTION |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I'd say you did a fine job sweetheart!! Don't ever stop writing because you express yourself very well........ethome |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent. . . I liked the form that you used here, it flowed very well. . . and like Sunshine, the ending surprised me. . . and putting it in a different color made it all the more. . . Wonderful. . . look forward to more of this from you. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
BDC, really excellant work, you have in your first attempt outdone yourself. This is very good work. I really love this one Take care Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
Your first free style? wow, excellent job. I love the flow, which is the hardest part of free style. But you have made this readable without effort. beautiful!!!! Look within the heart of a poet, and you will see a reflection of their soul. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Holly~ this is beautiful! but then again your work always is...you soar to new heights with this one hon. and ya know what...i believe it is you who is the angel take care. love this i do! love ya, ~amy~ |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
Love this "free verse", but being of a different age, so much of what all of you create is new to me. I hope I will be able to express myself in the way y'all do. So lovely and keep up the beautiful words. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ButterfliesDC~ Well, this is just so lovely ! You shine ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Daniel* Thank you so much...and take your time...Life Happens Vicky* You are always so kind...thank you very much for your support~ SP* I'm not sure about a natural but it was enjoyable to try something new...thank you very much~ Paula* Thank you so much~ ethome* You are much to kind dear sir...thank you very very much~ Sven* It's an honor...thank you for your kind reply, the ending just sort of happened...wasn't where this was headed but...you know how weaving is...lol~ Marsha* Many thanks for your kind reply~ AWC* If I made it look easy then I must be a pretty good actor...lol But thank you very very much...I truly appreciate your reply~ Amy* Thank you so much my sweet friend...you winged wonder you!! My Mom* You know I got it all from you...now get out that pen and start weaving...yep I'm bossy just like you too It really means the world to have you reading here...I love you~ xoxoxoxoxo (from Matt and Trina...and me)Marge* Thank you sweet lady...it's wonderful to see you here!! ((hugs)) |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
This is awesome my friend, your talent knows no bounds. Every time you put pen to paper we are blessed by gifts such as this. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Well you knew that I had to come looking for this one as it was your first "RELEASED" free-verse and all. Simply poetic perfection my friend in all respects and your format is taken from one of the masters so you had a jump on the perfection at the beginning. Wonderfully written and now you MUST (PLEASE) share some more with us. (You did notice that I said please didn't you?) A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. author unknown |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Butterflies--I'm so glad Mark brought this back up or I might have missed an exquisite free verse...and so romantic!! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Eagle my friend...a belated thank you reply but I do believe I thanked you in an e-mail...lol so am I forgiven??? Mark* Many thanks to you...I'm glad you liked it..and yes I guess it did end up being Christopher's style though I hadn't really given it that thought when I wrote it(oh my...does this mean Christopher is in my head  )...it just happened...as most poetry does Thank you again my friend~Martie...Queen of the Free...Heart felt thanks to you...your comment on this one especially means ALOT to me...it's an honor~ [This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 12-11-2000).] |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
Lovely, as always... Another one I might have missed if Mark hadn't brought it back... Gotta put this one in the library too... ~LL~The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
i am impressed. i too am a rookie when it comes to writing free verse, but it would seem you've found a groove rather easily. and the ending on this one...*ho-hum* all women are teases...you are a little heartbreaker aren't ya? i liked it very much. a stream-of-consciousness flow to it. dig it. "The bar is always open, the time is always right. If God's good word goes unspoken, then the music goes all night." |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
LL* Thank you so much...it is so nice to have you reading...and an honor to be added in your library...and yes thank you Mark~ Ethan* You have me laughing so hard...me a TEASE?????....a little hard to get maybe but never a tease...  ....(shhhhh J.M.) LOL Thank you so much for reading and your comments.....they are very much appreciated! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Yes, I recently tried free verse and I love it.....it sounds wonderful , your words....it feels good to explore doesn't it!!! "Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version of someone else." Marilyn Monroe |
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