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Open Poetry #11
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Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

0 posted 2000-11-24 01:49 PM


There is a quiet in the winter wood,
A strange dark beauty in pine forest things -
The nightbirds that rise on shadowy wings
ANd the phantom trees in their solitude.
The moon, moth white, lingers there motionless,
Then leans like a lover to kiss the lake.
She touches the surface as if to wake
The still, dark water with her light caress.
There is a quiet in the midnight wood,
Yet in the sacred silence, still the sound
Of wood creature watching from limb and ground
To keep their sanctuary's solemn mood.

I watch with them in worship and in awe,
Then whisper a prayer before I withdraw.




[This message has been edited by Beki (edited 11-25-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved
Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
1 posted 2000-11-24 04:22 PM


Yikes! buried on the second page without a single read!
Tony Abbot
Member
since 2000-11-18
Posts 209
North Wales,UK
2 posted 2000-11-24 04:44 PM


Yes,I'm surprised this was ignored,but response isn't always proportional to a poem's quality.Personally,I thought this was wonderfully written and quite enchanting.And you got all the meter and syllables thing right as well.

'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
3 posted 2000-11-24 10:23 PM


Thank you Tony, I really appreciate your taking the time to read and comment!  
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
4 posted 2000-11-24 11:28 PM


Beki, this is quite a piece of work for being your only sonnet!  Of course, from you, I expect nothing less ...  

A few stumbles in the meter, and an itty-bitty missing syllable in line 5, but then who's counting..?  I find that the most remarkable thing in this, as in ALL of your lovely poetry, is your absolute mastery of exquisite and captivating imagery:

The moon, moth white, lingers motionless,
Then leans like a lover to kiss the lake.
SHe touches the surface as if to wake
The still, dark water with her light caress


Tres magnifique!

--Linda



Remember: maintaining a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will certainly annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
5 posted 2000-11-25 01:31 AM


Hello Skyfyre, it has been a long while since our paths crossed, my friend...how good to "see"you! Actually I have to say "oops"..should read "lingers THERE motionless"  missed a word when I typed   Thanks for catchingit I will edit it immediately! And thanks for your generous comment. I wrote this poem when I lived on a lake in south carolina...the only good that came from that 9 months was how close I was to nature there, and how my feel for imagery matured. It will always be the greatest gift for my poetry  

[This message has been edited by Beki (edited 11-25-2000).]

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-11-25 07:52 AM


Very lovely, Beki! The picture you paint with your words is breathtaking!!

Denise

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-11-25 08:49 AM


The moon, moth white, lingers there motionless,
Then leans like a lover to kiss the lake.
She touches the surface as if to wake
The still, dark water with her light caress.
There is a quiet in the midnight wood,
Yet in the sacred silence, still the sound
Of wood creature watching from limb and ground
To keep their sanctuary's solemn mood.

I watch with them in worship and in awe,
Then whisper a prayer before I withdraw.

=============
this is excellent..
the imagery had a very cool mystic essence to it ...

"The moon, moth white, lingers there motionless,
Then leans like a lover to kiss the lake."

very cool line...superb imagery ...
and those last two lines were a poetically
perfect ending to this poems slightly haunted grace.
very well done
take care jm

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2000-11-25 11:13 AM


Beki,
excellent write. I wouldn't worry about starting off on page two, I usually manage to get to page four before I get responses. For me it's a timing "thang".

Write on
Kethry


Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed?
Rex E. Alford

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
9 posted 2000-11-25 03:48 PM


DEnise, Janet, Kethry, thank you for your generous comments, I appreciate them bunches!  
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