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Open Poetry #11
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Crying In My Mind
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Crying In My Mind |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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looking back outside the pain hoping for my soul to gain cursing all my worst regrets wishing I could just forget on a joy ride for number one why did I leave her why did I run once again locked in time out of the blues..... I hear her crying in my mind. telling tales beyond the tall hearing voices outside the wall on a toll road scorched with defeat she's back there in front of me I can't escape the constant rhyme I hear her crying in my mind when night falls like purple ice I hear a voice out of the sky and as I pray for peace to grow the same old words find me alone where can I find a place to hide how will I reach it or will I die once again locked in time out of the blues...... I hear her crying in my mind. when the lonely day appears and streetlight beams disappear I slide my guitar to my side and hike the black top baked inside heart's a prisoner doin double time where am I going what will I find once again locked in time out of the blues.... I hear her crying in my mind telling tales beyond the tall hearing voices outside the wall on a toll road scorched with defeat she's back there in front of me I can't escape the constant rhyme I hear her crying in my mind |
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| © Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
when night falls like purple ice I hear a voice out of the sky and as I pray for peace to grow the same old words find me alone where can I find a place to hide how will I reach it or will I die once again locked in time out of the blues...... I hear her crying in my mind. when the lonely day appears and streetlight beams disappear I slide my guitar to my side and hike the black top baked inside heart's a prisoner doin double time where am I going what will I find once again locked in time out of the blues.... I hear her crying in my mind ===================== my E-babes is singing the blues again ... "heart's a prisoner doin double time" and so is your cadence and rhyme...this is so cool and bittersweet in its melody E, and oh how Id love to be sitting in a smoky club watching you play that guitar.. another tune from your heart ... and another one for my juke box of you  later-blues-baby-gator me |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ethome--so hard to follow Janet with a reply...this is excellent, as I find all your poetry, and the music is there too...some lines really struck me...I'll tell you which.. she's back there in front of me When night falls like purple ice yup...way cool, like you! |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
e- this really struck a chord with me this evening! awesome poem with some amazing lines...your rhyme and flow is of pure excellence. take care. ~amy~ |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
hehehe ---I can't escape the constant rhyme i liked the rhyme but yuh i get what your saying and you did it so well |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
As usual Janet you make my day with your exuberant reply ...thanks so much kind friend for your tender comments ...much appreciated I think you know.....etVANhome Martie thanks so much...I know what you mean but it's not a hard act to follow...because you just did and I really appreciate your kind thoughts.....ethome.. and remember you girls sing in the same back-up group..The Blue Moons.........don't forget that!! Thank you so much Amy for stopping in for the read and falling into it a bit I thank you so much.....ethome Thanks Walt for the encouraging words I really appreciate them so much....ethome |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
"on a joy ride for number one why did I leave her why did I run" ... "I can't escape the constant rhyme" Ethome...Exceptional write with excellent rhyme. Enjoyed it muchly. "...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." -Poe |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Ethome* Your poetry is purely and breathtakingly amazing...the way this was woven I could hear you whispering it to yourself as tears ran down my face...such emotion and depth running over on to the page that held your rhyme. Excellent writing my friend~ You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Poeminister I appreciate the comments so much....ethome Thank you Butterflies for your always so warm and open loving replies...much appreciated.. ethome |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ethome...this struck many chords within me...each line painted a new, resounding portrait of the agony you wanted to impart, and you did that so well... so I'm afraid it is going to have to be placed in my library....so that I can go back to revisit from where you came... to where you will be henceforth... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
This really does sound like a song. Enjoyed reading it and would love to hear the melody... *smiles* -Tier |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Ethome, so why didn't I see this earlier, were you trying to hide it from me. (Damm that search function being disabled,). Excellant work, where had I got to, was it E or F? You're right as usual, it was F. So this is fabulous, fantastic, gorgeous, great, grand, incandescent, incredible, ideal, irresistible, illustrious. Utterly wonderful it truly is. I love this, I really do, I can almost hear you singing this. So sing on love and I'll listen with my feet up. (Yes I'm at work but I'm on a break.... honestly )Take care Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Ethome, Always enjoy your writing and this is one I enjoyed very much. Sy |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Telling you how much this made my heart ache doesnt even come close to doing this justice. Would you accept the tears that are running down my cheeks as proof of the emotion it aroused? Hugs to you my sweet poetsinger |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Sunshine for the fine thoughts I really appreciate it so much...ethome Thanks Tiersdin for taking the time to read and comment....ethome Marsha it's always a pleasure to hear from you with your cheery words of encouragement.. bless you and thanks...ethome Thanks Seymour for the words of comparison I appreciate them very much...ethome Thank you Paula my dear sweet poet I thinks you is a wonderful gal thanks for the happy tears they are special to me.....ethome |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautifully done, ethome! Denise |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
ethome, you are elite ...in every way. write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Ethome, this touched me deeply... you captured her crying voice in your mind very good. Truly heartfelt penned. Excellent. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks so much Denise I appreciate the comment ethome Thank you very much my picnic buddy.... kind words indeed......ethome Hey Charisma thanks for the great thought...ethome |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
ethome, I packed my guitar up years ago, but this is one, I was singing in my mind as I was reading. Your poetry is always full of wonderfully creative lines and such a pleasure to read Liz |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Elizabeth for such kind words and I sure appreciate the comments coming from you they are very refreshing and rewarding...ethome. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Ethome, I am quickly becoming a fan of yours  Every time I read your writing I like it more and more. This is no exception ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Rosepetals for the kind compliment I will be looking forward to reading some of your also...ethome |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ETHome~ Oh, this is hauntingly lovely in it's rhythm of melancholy. So easily played in the caverns of your mind - 'once again locked in time out of the blues..... I hear her crying in my mind.' Just a wonderfully felt piece. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Marge so good to hear from you I appreciate the hauntingly and melancholy words....thanks again ....ethome |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I found this again...and its just as powerfully touching as the first time I read it...you sure know how to pull those emotions right out of me |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Sometimes our minds can not erase the tears from the face, memories linger on, sometimes they pop up when you least expect them, I loved this poem ethome very sad, reminds me of so many times when I say why? If we could only turn back time. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
ETHOME, ya know I read this poem of your's three times, and it has a rhythm to the rhyme that now I can't get outta my mind... This goes to library PoetFriend, it's a spectacular write... coco [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 12-22-2000).] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Paula I love that comment about the emotions...glad you stopped in to read... have a nice holiday......ethome Rosebud I really appreciate your comments and I understand them fully...there's been many times I've wished that I could turn back the hands of time.......ethome Thanks Coco for picking up on the rhythum and replaying it I appreciate your thoughts very much...ethome |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
ethome...yes, amazing was a good word i saw being used up there... this IS an amazing piece! youre rhymes flow without being boring thats for sure  i love this one..the complete ache of it is breathtaking..the questions..the woes..the wondering... very well written..! hugs, g < !signature--> "people who need people are the luckiest people..." barbra s. [This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 12-31-2000).] |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* oh Eric, such sadness. Oh my gosh. My heart goes out to you. Much love and a New Years kiss from me to you. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://www.voy.com/7622/ http://www.powerpoems.com |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Somehow on the last day of the year it feels quite right to read this again... |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
My friend, I don't know how I missed this one but better late than never. Okay, you know this one rocks don't you? Of course you do. The blues of course must be sung just all the other styles and you sing them wonderfully. No wonder they are loved so much. Grabbing my guitar and headed your way to join you in a little jam session. |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
What is left to be said?..Touched my heart with this one you did...I'll just agree with all the others..Maybe more so..Loved this one ethome, me did indeed... ~LL~The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Very haunting with perfect flow and deep feeling - "the crying in my mind" theme works very well, many I am sure will understand and/or relate to this, especially as the year comes to an end Take care, Melissa The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Well, so many people responded to this, there is absolutely nothing new to say. But I sure did like this poem Sandra |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh, I'm with the others Ethome ... this simply "must" be a song ... so lyrical and melodic, beautifully written, much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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