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Open Poetry #11
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-11-22 02:57 AM


This--
this is the final verse--
the venial
the
words of terse...
lips
that hunger
empty purse...
denial
undenied...
a hearse,
arriving...
I leave you the curse
of yet another
stillborn love,
potential...dies...
to soar above
who wears the one hand
white heart glove?
Lonely, lonely,
rise above....

YOU--
I gave my heart
askance
as if I ever
had a chance...

I can't...
I can't...
no room for hurt...
I cry.
I cry.
and scrape the dirt
in search
of speck of
one thing worth
to plant the seed
of me in me...

I trade it all...
(there was a list...)
you were there
with Judas kiss
YOU
a spark
compassion's bliss...

(you)
the only,I will miss...
and only drop
my heart will bleed...

You were the dirt,
you were the seed...

and you are
the rain I need...

but I will not
drop to my knees...

the sun? he comes
to shine on me.

and I trade
for me...in me.


© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2000-11-22 04:41 AM


Wonderful poem Serenity....great analysis of inner feelings ...and hey I understand!... you end up trusting yourself and leaning on the wisdom of past experiences....this is so well written Serenity .....very insightful and deep.....keep it up Celeste......ethome
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
2 posted 2000-11-22 05:02 AM


Once again your words flow through me with such feeling!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.


LilPeanut
Junior Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 26
Pennsylvania, USA
3 posted 2000-11-22 08:33 AM


sorry posted twice see below!

[This message has been edited by LilPeanut (edited 11-22-2000).]

LilPeanut
Junior Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 26
Pennsylvania, USA
4 posted 2000-11-22 08:33 AM


This poem is written with great style. I could feel every ache the character was feeling. I love poems like this that sink you in and you beg to read more. Excellent Job! Have a wonderful day!

Kelly

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-11-22 08:42 AM


I leave you the curse
of yet another
stillborn love,
potential...dies...
to soar above
who wears the one hand
white heart glove?
Lonely, lonely,
rise above....
YOU--
I gave my heart
askance
as if I ever
had a chance...
==================
and scrape the dirt
in search
of speck of
one thing worth
to plant the seed
of me in me...
===================
(you)
the only,I will miss...
and only drop
my heart will bleed...

You were the dirt,
you were the seed...

and you are
the rain I need...

but I will not
drop to my knees...

the sun? he comes
to shine on me.

and I trade
for me...in me.
================
oh my sweet...I know, I know...
you know me motto ...
tis never easy ...being a moth ...
but you bleed like a butterfly baby ..
and ya know me other motto ( i gotst a million of em)  
I am ALWAYS my own worst enemy
but ya know what else I know ...
there already is a seed planted in "the me" of you ...
and everythings comming up poetry baby...
you are poetry...whether it rains or not...
sun .. or none...
there is a rose garden growing there in the "me of me" ..in you..
*blowing kisses to the south*
love you me twin..muchly
me


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
6 posted 2000-11-22 08:49 AM


sen I am always glad when I am done reading your posts o yuh I love the Judas part woohoo the whole poem rocks yuh
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2000-11-22 10:04 AM


this.....soars......

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2000-11-22 12:25 PM


a window to the soul my friend. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-11-23 04:59 PM


Back again to express my gratitude...Your replies of kindness continue to amaze and uplift me. I don't believe that I would have kept writing if I had not found this forum.
I humbly thank you all again.

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
10 posted 2000-11-23 05:07 PM


Wow! Excellent poem here! You also have a way with finding the perfect words.  

Sauni


Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
11 posted 2000-11-24 05:23 PM


Got the point very quickly. Well done! I love the quickness to my reading of this, moved so fast and flowed wonderfully! (I don't like the use of "hearse," though, it seems like it is used so often when trying to bring in death, just clicheish to me.) Love your work.
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