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Open Poetry #11
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2000-11-21 10:28 AM



Can you stay?

once more
come ‘round
come hie
come lie
once more

if you could
but stay
I will give
only silence
just to hear
your sigh

soft breath

memories of
soft talk

if you would
but stay
close
here

take me back
to the time
when nothing mattered
you were mine
I was yours
now it’s gone
past the tears
of today

can you stay?

I thought not

You’re on your way
towards a yesterday
and there’ll be no
me
in your
poetry



Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-11-21 10:33 AM


Ohhhh, I'm relating to this one.......I really like this....excellent!   -SEA
dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
2 posted 2000-11-21 11:21 AM


"And there'll be no me in your poetry"
Oh, I love that line!!!!


With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

3 posted 2000-11-21 12:28 PM


~Sunshine, this speaks, clearly.

Love it all, but this part ahhhh,...is just so right on,...

"if you could
but stay
I will give
only silence
just to hear
your sigh".  

Awesome lady. *Peace.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2000-11-21 04:54 PM


SEA, we are most likely kindred spirits...and you may be Anne, and I shall be your best friend...

dp, it pleases me when specific lines are pulled out as "the one..." thank you...

Spitfire, I treasure "awesome"...thank you...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
5 posted 2000-11-21 05:00 PM


take me back
to the time
when nothing mattered
you were mine
I was yours
now it’s gone
past the tears
of today

can you stay?

=========

Past the tears of today and on his way back to yesterday.........I must say that you have such a wonderous way of penning intensity in a poem.  Loved it much even between the lines of burden.

madlion
Junior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 12
boca raton
6 posted 2000-11-21 05:03 PM


wow , what a great poem.....i could relate to every word of it.....thank you
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
7 posted 2000-11-21 05:14 PM


When you're really good - you more than that by far - this has so many phrases of such great intensity and imagery - I won't try to quote them all here - suffice to say this is magnificent!
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
8 posted 2000-11-21 05:15 PM


Kari, you're right there is much beauty in these pages, and so much of it from you love. Love this one, I do really. It is such a wonderful flow, you surely can write. Wonderful as always.
Take care
              MM


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2000-11-21 05:35 PM


Sunshine, no man alive would not trade a year of yesterdays for one tomorrow with you  
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2000-11-21 06:55 PM


From your heart my friend. . .

As always. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2000-12-10 05:21 PM


a little late in getting back to thank everyone for their kind remarks...

Mark, I am glad you had time to read, thank you...

madlion, many of us find ways to relate...thank you for reading...

Mr. Yeats, a magnificent from you is praise indeed, thank you...

Thank you Marsha...as always...

'Deer...now are you really sure about that?...LOL...thank you fellow Moderator!...

Thank you Sven...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
12 posted 2000-12-10 07:17 PM


Kari, it matters not that you were late getting back it gave me another chance to read this. It really is a wonderful piece from you, as always. I truly do love this one.
Take care
               Majestic Marsha
                        


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 2000-12-10 08:20 PM


yes.....
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

14 posted 2000-12-10 08:28 PM


take me back
to the time
when nothing mattered
you were mine
I was yours
now it’s gone
past the tears
of today
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUNSHINE, my dear, the above quote from your poem just echoes thru my soul...

And as you already know from the praise you receive on your writing you truly weave a poem with IMMENSE intensity that goes beyond just eloquent words it's as though a soul speaks in hush of whisper thru a page or screen it's indcredible but sometimes I can sense a breath or soft sigh under each word you pen...

I dunno maybe it's the caffine and lack of sleep nah it's you sweetie your way with poetry is soooooooooooooo sweet I adore it...

coco


Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
15 posted 2000-12-10 09:11 PM


yes, oh yes says he
your heard wrong for I shall stay
and then I will sigh

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2000-12-10 09:19 PM


Marsha, any instance where I can pull you in twice is a doubly-lucky day for me...thank you!...

'Deer...really?...aw...thank you...

CoCo...all I have wanted with my poetry is to touch a heart...so that someone would feel the words, as you have expressed...that you took the time to write this note...impresses me...thank you very much for sharing your thoughts...I hope you continue to enjoy...

Interloper, you are making me blush...thank you...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » Can you stay?...............................................................

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