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Open Poetry #11
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A Dying Marriage
| Open Poetry #11 |
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A Dying Marriage |
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startin_fresh Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137US |
Outwardly I appear to be So calm and in control Yet deep within me there's A scream that is choked down. Many stories kept from light Tales that only a few are privy Of what fears I have lying within So many that I can't understand. Smiles painted upon my lips Can't compare to the stoic look Non-emotional outward appearance Inside merely a basket case. Living a lie that eats away At the very fabric of my soul To appear all is right and nice A relationship cold, yet not buried Seconds are long and hours infinite Days seem to go on forever Just a few more months till I can Reveal that it's being put to rest We were young and so niave Or was it lust without sense Passions burned in our youth But lust is not a love that keeps Two decades and two years Have passed since the I do Raised a family yet still An empty house is not a home Did we grow apart my dear Or did we just not realize That we should have been Ships that passed in the night I try to tell you that it must end Yet I've made you dependant Upon me by doing all for you Now I must ask that you let go. For a year now I have planned To make things easier for you So you can be self sufficient From the day I leave home It's not right nor fair I know And everyone that you meet Will know the b*****d I am As you tell your tale. With June comes brides And this one brings separation Someone has to say its over And I know it must be me So I look at your face As I say.... "Dear Jane..." I am leaving home now Have a good life. [This message has been edited by startin_fresh (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Painful......Your emotions are portrayed extremely well in this. Brought a tear to my eye...sometimes forever's not meant to be. Thank you for sharing..... To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I won't tell you how this makes me feel....but if you read any of mine I am sure you will know...there is a song with words that say..why doesn't forever mean forever....by John Michael Montgomery I say why doesn't committment mean committment..I guess words are just words today and really mean nothing except for the moment... best wishes in whatever you choose if you write for "real" whatever that means ~Wynter...you would have to know me to understand this response..it's as honest as your poem is...huggzz "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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startin_fresh Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137US |
Dreamkeeper - Thanks for your comments on my work and the pain I feel is more than I can express with pen or text. Nakdthoughts - I am not quite certain what you mean concerning commitments, and if I am reading you wrong I apologize. I do know that my friends tell me that I go above and beyond and need to learn when to let go. When I said I do I meant it. But there is more than a physical death --- the spirit can die which ultimately leads to the literal death of someone. Beacon of Hope! Your guiding light during life's troubling moments. www.yourbeaconofhope.com |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Yeah...sigh....I know that's the hard part having to say those words when you know it's a necessity but the person relies heavily on you... it's gonna make you look bad whatever way you go about it...but what do you do if the love isn't there?....stay together and suffer...what is the moral and right thing to do answer me that???? I'm not going through this by the way I'm just wondering....I hear the word committment all the time..but when it comes to human relationships I don't think it's a good word because someone looking for committment may not be looking for love. I think in human relationships that committment grows in time and the people involved eventually become committed to each other in real love....committment is fine for careers and sports and other phases of life...but for the treachery of a thing called love no I can't see searching for committment, but I can see searching for love that may turn into committment you know..naturally.....but I may be wrong?? have a nice day......sorry to go on so....ethome |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I can think of nothing worse than living a lie. If love is gone then so be it. I feel so sorry for the both of you. I hope she can carry on and know that it was just a lie you could not live with anymore. Be strong and let her know that life will go on. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
well startin_..not knowing what generation you are from nor your experiences...I will just say that if you start out with true love and the idea of forever,and that love changes in many ways over the years, and if in meaning both can't each work towards the changes and growing with them and not apart, then I think persons shouldn't make the marriage committment which is for better or worse (not counting physical and emotional hurts) And if one does decide the other can't love anymore or they themselves can't, well then by all means you must start fresh..but love just doesn't stop or die...there are many outside influences and that is why there are counselors and places to go for help..it is when one doesn't wish to try that it is definitely over...and one is always left more dependent than another...and in my case it is me...in your case it isn't, so you see there are always two sides and more to a life shared. I understand what you are saying, I was just putting the other shoe on for readers to see. Thank you and it did bring many thoughts to mind of how my other half must feel "trapped" at the moment. ~Wynter  and huggzz and please don't take this wrong, because when a poem can do that, then you have written something both well and meaningful< !signature-->"The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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startin_fresh Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137US |
ethome - Thank you! I used to wonder about commitments and responsibilities. I made a commitment to see my children to adulthood and to get a good education. That commitment is almost done. I had a responsibility to them and for that reason I remained 15 yrs longer than planned. inot2b - Lies are tough to live.. and worse to continue. nakdthoughts - I am a babyboomer on the trailing edge. When I married in my teens I was niave and idealistic. People who believe that marriage is 50/50 are living a dream. I tried the counselors yet when the other party is in denial..... then it's time to pull the plug. . *** I apologize to the poetic community for turning this into a soap opera. I appreciate all who responded. have a good day! ***< !signature--> Beacon of Hope! Your guiding light during life's troubling moments. www.yourbeaconofhope.com [This message has been edited by startin_fresh (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I appreciate this expression of the feelings and thoughts that go thru one's mind during a time of hard choices and broken dreams....James |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a really sad poem. You've shared your life with this person for so long, and I can't even imagine how painful it must be to end it all. You are no longer living a lie, however, and I commend you for that. I hope writing this helped the pain. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
Hi. It is life that you write of, and in life lies drama, real as it may be. Your poem felt sincere to read, your words direct and poignant. I wish you all the best, and encourage you to keep writing. So often I have found that writing remains a constant in my own life, something tangible to help me get through loss and anger and betrayal and all those other icky things. (crooked smile) Do keep writing, and take care. Rainydays [This message has been edited by Rainydays (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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Julie Jordan Scott Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 146Bakersfield, CA USA |
Hey there my friend, Your name and your icon say it all....focus on the weight that will be off your shoulders, and the ability to be outside your prison. The challenge now is to not create another one! I know you will be great...... JULIE |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Shawn, you describe the end of a marriage so well. This is exactly how I felt when my marriage ended over two years ago. I think this is your best work ever! |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
startin_fresh, This is a sad sad tale, but one that happens more than I think it probably should these days. Wonderful writing filled with so much emotion and honesty in each line. May you one day find the happiness that you seek. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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