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Passions in Poetry

Forever December (free verse)

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Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


0 posted 11-19-2000 06:44 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Janet Marie

~Forever December~

Tonight I felt you
felt you move inside of me,
felt your restlessness in my soul.
As I sat beneath the slivered moon
the November chill made me tremble,
yet, the cold made me feel alive.
My own warm tears
felt estranged on my cheeks.
Knees pulled up to my chest
arms locked around them,
embraced in the ache of missing you.
Eyes to ebony skies
searching the stars,
there is that one that shines brighter
with an emerald spark
a jade glow,
and I just know.

I catch my breath and hold it in
my lungs wanting to explode.
Sometimes I want to scream,
scream from a place
so deep inside
that even I've never been there alone.
Sometimes I feel like
I could bleed forever,
bleed out my skin,
from my eyes.
Crying's no longer enough
there aren't enough tears
to release me.
And I cant write enough poetry either,
there's not enough rhyme to purge this.
Besides, my words never do you justice,
and tonight ... neither does the moon.

I know where all this is coming from,
as the calendar counts off the days.
Screaming cant stop this times arrival,
nor can tears, nor poetry.
For the seasons have nearly come full circle,
as the earth quietly and constantly keeps time.
Each new day's offering
of golden sunrises,
of rose washed sunsets,
and a phasing blue moon to remind.
And the memories come flooding back,
the way your prepared me
to open my heart
to let go of you, to let you fly.
The promise to be the wind beneath your wings.

And I remember the day I saw time ...
actually witnessed its passage.
That day in the square,
the millennium clock
counting off the seconds,
the minutes, till the years end.
I can still feel the way
my knees went weak
and my chest drew in tight,
and I remember thinking
if I held that breath forever ...
I could make time stand still.

But, angels and butterflies aren't held to mortal time.

And just like I had
to let go of that breath,
I soon had to let go of you.
So now ...
November will again give way to December,
and I'll see your shadow there.
And I wonder does anyone else question
why we feel the need to measure pain?
Why do we mark our losses in the passage of time?
Each passing day weighs out equal,
one hour, one week, one month, one year,
the memory is just as treasured
and it's only those moments that matter.

Should the stars all fall from the sky,
should the moon forget to shine.
Let the winds of change blow,
let the tides wash away the sands of time.
I wont ever let this go,
you will never fade in me.
And time will mark the moment
the night you took flight.
And each of us who lived in your light
will engrave again it in our hearts.
Still I know ...
there will always be a moment
etched in time,
as if, like me ...
destiny held it's breath
and it will be forever December.

Janet Marie

for DeVante' ... always

"And I can remember
Forever december
The center of dying, the heart of the pain
The rose in the bottle, the thorns in the bottom
The stars surround me, the cold astounds me"
~Tabitha's Secret~

*************************

~Forever December~
Tabitha's Secret
from the CD Dont Play with Matches

I reach within my isolation
I harbor it, I honor it
You say you'd like to see me closer
Of course you would, you have no choice

And I cry cause the weather has gotten to me
And I laugh at the people that I can't be all their lives
Silly pictures

Hey now now now, hey now hey baby
Baby's getting older
Hey now now now, hey now hey baby
The tide is turning, turning us away

You build the wall I'll build the fountain
We'll wrestle it, we'll conquer it
I think we'll live to see the mountain
Of course we will we have no choice


And I can remember
Forever december
The center of dying, the heart of the pain
The rose in the bottle, the thorns in the bottom
The stars surround me, the cold astounds me


And it wont take long, we both knew this
Well I wasn't quite prepared
For my center of dying, the heart of your pain
All my words get lost and I cant speak
Got my head stripped down well I get weak
And the words fall out like forever december

And I cry cause the weather has gotten to me
And I laugh at the people that I can't be all their lives
Pretty pictures

Hey now now now, hey now hey baby
Baby's getting older, baby's getting older
Hey now now now, hey now hey baby
The tide is turning, turning us away ...



"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
Lao Tze Tao

~Butterflies are meant to be free~





[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 11-20-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 07-10-2000
Posts 7542
Maidstone Kent England


1 posted 11-19-2000 07:06 PM       View Profile for Marsha   Email Marsha   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marsha's Home Page   View IP for Marsha

Janet Marie, Oh love, this just aches and bleeds pain. Pain so deep it'll take a long long time to ease. My thoughts for what it's worth are with you, at least you have the ability to write exactly what you are feeling. And a wonderful beautiful gift it is, such a power to write your whole heart. Such a power to make others feel your pain and make them empathise this is a gift of awesome ability. If I could wave a magic wand to banish all hurts and pain, I would, because although pain is vital, it teaches us lessons that we would otherwise ignore. I along with everyone else I suspect, prefer the lessons that love teaches us. I'm rarely  serious, except when offering love and friendship, love as a fellow sister and friendship because. If you need me I'm only an E away. And I can always make time for friends, besides isn't that what delegation is for. (Actually it just means I do whatever later, but that's okay)
Take care
               Mushy Marsha
                    
Look to the light love, it will help, I promise it will.


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 11-19-2000 07:39 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

if I held that breath forever ...
I could make time stand still.

JanetMarie, I do not know the particulars behind this poem but - my God, girl! - you are fast becoming a major part of my personal library...you are much more impressive to me than you can ever imagine...BRAVO!!!
Tony Abbot
Member
since 11-18-2000
Posts 212
North Wales,UK


3 posted 11-19-2000 07:45 PM       View Profile for Tony Abbot   Email Tony Abbot   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tony Abbot

This is a beautiful piece.Clever concatenation between your emotions and the seasons.Take a bow.

'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


4 posted 11-19-2000 07:56 PM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Janet Marie-
   Oh my...how this screams with an
   undeniable ache...

   'I catch my breath and hold it in
    my lungs wanting to explode.
    Sometimes I want to scream,
    scream from a place
    so deep inside
    that even I've never been there alone.
    Sometimes I feel like
    I could bleed forever,
    bleed out my skin,
    from my eyes.
    Crying's no longer enough
    there aren't enough tears
    to release me.
    And I cant write enough poetry either,
    there's not enough rhyme to purge this.
    Besides, my words never do you justice,
    and tonight ... neither does the moon.

   'Should the stars all fall from the sky,
    should the moon can forget to shine.
    Let the winds of change blow,
    let the tides wash away the sands of time
    I wont ever let this go,
    you will never fade in me.
    And time will mark the moment
    the night you took flight.
    And each of us who lived in your light
    will engrave again it in our hearts.
    Still I know ...
    there will always be a moment
    etched in time,
    as if like me
    destiny held it's breath
    and it will be forever December.'

   when you write about your DeVante',
   the words are spun in pure gold...
   and this one is no exception  
   we are so fortunate that you are
   willing to share your love for him
   with all of us here...thank you..
   this brought tears...my heart goes
   out to you, my friend...you're in
   my thoughts and prayers..  

   love and hugs to you,
   -vicky



  




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


5 posted 11-19-2000 08:02 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Janet--yes...you are not the only one that measures time this way...you bring tears with his poem because I understand and you have again spread your heart on the page...hugs!
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


6 posted 11-19-2000 08:07 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

"Crying's no longer enough
there aren't enough tears
to release me."

"and I remember thinking
if I held that breath forever ...
I could make time stand still."

"And I wonder does anyone else question
why we feel the need to measure pain?
Why do we mark our losses in the passage of time?"

"Still I know ...
there will always be a moment
etched in time,
as if like me
destiny held it's breath
and it will be forever December."

Oh my dear sweet Janet Marie ... I think you're gonna send me into tears here. What an incredibly beautiful outpouring of love, longing, remembrance and such sweet, tender love. This was superbly emotional writing JM ... absolutely superb. Beautiful hon!  

Best wishes,
/Kit
compassion
Member
since 11-01-2000
Posts 136
USA


7 posted 11-19-2000 08:13 PM       View Profile for compassion   Email compassion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for compassion

Powerful, JM, overwhelmingly powerful, it took my breath away...anything else said would take away from this breattaking write.
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


8 posted 11-19-2000 09:22 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

sometimes, the chill always stays with us. . . even in the heat of the heart. . .

excellent Jan. . .    you do free verse very well!!

---------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 10-01-2000
Posts 1492
Hillcrest, Queensland, Austral


9 posted 11-19-2000 09:26 PM       View Profile for Daniel J D   Email Daniel J D   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Daniel J D

JanetMarie,
You really opened your heart in this magnificent poem. Revealing yourself in words is always rewarding.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)
jwesley
Member Ascendant
since 04-30-2000
Posts 6413
Texas . . .


10 posted 11-19-2000 09:30 PM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

"there will always be a moment
                    etched in time,
                    as if, like me ...
                    destiny held it's breath
                    and it will be forever December."

--------------------------------------------



Between your words your soul cries in this and we feel the pain, the tears, the longing and the memories.  Your words, lovely as they are don't compare to the beauty that created them.

jwesley
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


11 posted 11-19-2000 11:26 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

Oh Jan...I'm crying sweetie but not from the
pain but for the beauty of the weave this
butterly lays within your soul...ever line
etched into the crystal of his memories and
the love that he brings to your life...then,
now and evermore.  To see his light in your
rhyme is one thing...but to see it here in
free verse...that only confirms my view that
when you write WITH him...you no longer
exist, he no longer exsits but together you
write as a new and beautiful Butterlfy...to
many that won't make sense...but you will
KNOW and that's what matters my sweet
SS...that is what matters.  Love you
girlie...for this and for everything that
you add to my life each and every day~


You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


12 posted 11-20-2000 08:16 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Marsha ....thank you so very much for the wonderful compliments of my work and for the very sweet offer to talk, and I know these read very sad, but much of it is a reflection of how it all felt when he first passed on, I am ok..I promise...I truly do celebrate him and I am not lost in the loss of him, for I know he is in a better place and finally at peace. He was always ready and taught all of us who loved him how to love enough to let go. Much of this poem comes from reflections of realizing its soo to come upon the first year anniversary of him taking flight. Thank you again for such a kind and caring reply.

Michael ...what do I say to such a wonderful and humbling compliment like this...
thank you so very much and I hope you know that I feel the same about you and your talent. thank you sweet Deer.

Tony... thank you so much poet sir....and welcome again to passions....your new post is superb poetry.

Vicky....thank you hon..really..for such sweet and warm, caring reply..I am so grateful to have this place to share him and celbrate him..as I know his light will always shine in my heart and poetry. thank you for such a wonderful reply.

Martie.....thank you sweet poet and I know you understand ...in ways few can...and for reasons I wish no one would ever have to have in common....but it is quiet comfort to know others understand.

Kit...thank you sweetie...very much for such a beautiful and encouraging reply...
your always a smile on the page dear poet.


compassion.....sometimes words arent needed....thank you so very much for such a kind and sweet reply to this.

Sven..thank you poet sir....this is only my second attempt at free verse...but I am really enjoying the new way to express and create..i hope my muse continues to give me more.  

Daniel..thank you very much, your rihgt the release is very healing and empowering. thank you for the kind reply...its so nice to have you stop by.

JW ....my goodness what wonderful reply ...thank you so very much for such a beautiful compliment poet sir...Im always gald to see your name here .

Holly.......thank you my sweet butterfly SS..and everything you say make sense  
thank you for always seeing his effect on my work and for always being so supportive and understanding..and for listening....for what you bring to my day as well dear friend..quiet comfort indeed.


thank you all so very very much for these beautiful accepting replies.
love to all in poetry land.
jm

There are moments ...
when I Love you
beyond the limits of my human heart ...

...you will always be mine.

Collin Raye

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


13 posted 11-20-2000 08:30 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I remember once...a reply to a poem of mine?
you said: "LET THE WORSHIP BEGIN!!"

MY lady...this is just about the most awesome release of soul SWEAT---totally beautiful, I felt like I was holding your hand while I read--that sweet and intimate...
I so wish I could really hug you....
y'know...nevermind...I know that I just did.

Your writing here is awesome. And your heart?
more profound and tender than I could put into words...my artist friend, my twin---love ya, baby...this is JUSTICE, of a love profound...and?  hey, I don't do cartwheels either...except in spirit.  (ya SAW THAT?)  

grins, me friend.  LOVE YOU.
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 11-20-2000 10:40 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

This...

quote:
And I cant write enough poetry either,
there's not enough rhyme to purge this.
Besides, my words never do you justice,
and tonight ... neither does the moon.



is the gist of your heart, and spirit.

Well done, little one...you are... inspiration...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


15 posted 11-20-2000 10:47 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Janet,  This is a wonderful piece of petry.  Very different from the style I recall you writing in before but every bit as capable of evoking emotion.  Well done piece.


Michael
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


16 posted 11-20-2000 11:16 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Wow!! this one's a keeper VANtastic it's so deep and spiritual...the pensive reflections of your hurt that goes deeper than your very soul....the holding of your breath in the anticipation of stopping time to avoid the pain....the terrible let down of an oh so complicated and loving heart...a loyal heart that mixes truth with love and expects the same from the gifts lovers exchange...the melancoholy memories that shove the tears out of the very seat of emotion ...the friable imposter, reality, choking love out of a heart that knows that the intelligence of true love spares each lover the lies of convenience......the cold of December lingering in the bone marrow, plauging the warmth of thoughts with frozen despair..... hell girl!! if this is what you write like whan your muse isn't working then I want to be first in line to read your work when your muse is working.....absolute fabulous work!! This is the blues baby and you write'em as good as anyone....love ya right to death!!

your old poet friend   ethome.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


17 posted 11-20-2000 11:35 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Aw, girl... That old saying "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is true... especially when the person loved is so remarkable that they'll live forever in your heart and memories. But it's remarkable just how much excrutiating pain follows the loss... and how it sneaks up on you when you're not prepared to deal with another deluge of tears. But while the poetry can't purge the pain that pours from this poem, each poem you pen makes it abundantly clear that you wouldn't have missed a moment of the joy to be spared the pain. *S*
SEA
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since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


18 posted 11-20-2000 11:47 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Janet~ this touched my heart, more than I could possibly tell you........

"Should the stars all fall from the sky,
should the moon forget to shine.
Let the winds of change blow,
let the tides wash away the sands of time.
I wont ever let this go,
you will never fade in me"


The entire poem is amazing, but those lines touched my heart completely....... -SEA
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


19 posted 11-20-2000 12:02 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

I know where all this is coming from,
as the calendar counts off the days.
Screaming cant stop this times arrival,
nor can tears, nor poetry.
For the seasons have nearly come full circle,
as the earth quietly and constantly keeps time.
Each new day's offering
of golden sunrises,
of rose washed sunsets,
and a phasing blue moon to remind.
And the memories come flooding back,
the way your prepared me
to open my heart
to let go of you, to let you fly.
The promise to be the wind beneath your wings.

Jan,

You have said so much in this piece with a tidalwave of emotion.  This poem really hit home for me because my Dad passed away December 23.  I to am feeling the "counting of the days".

There are always two wonderous things that happen when our loved ones pass from Earth's realm to the another plain.  

1.  Heaven is now just that bit more beautiful because of them.

2.  They are never really gone at all.  We are just unable to see them in the form that we remember them by.

One most definitely for my library.  Another piece that shows DeVante's true impact on you while he walked among us, and the love he still gives you from his home in Heaven.


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley

Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


20 posted 11-20-2000 12:13 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Janet, this was amazing.... what a read. It was a perfect flow with the emotion it exudes to the reader... Bravo on this. whew.
when you write you write.  


Parker
Victoria
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Member Ascendant
since 08-12-2000
Posts 6020


21 posted 11-20-2000 12:14 PM       View Profile for Victoria   Email Victoria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Victoria

a very emotional and Beautifully written poem Janet..and so heartfelt..HUGS


               ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 06-21-2000
Posts 7338
In the winds of Cherokee song


22 posted 11-20-2000 12:17 PM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

My sweet friend, you know I love it when you write of butterflies, moths, and flames and especially happy to see you pen in free verse.  No amount of bleeding will ever come close to the love that is felt when you really let it lose with your magical quill but rest assured that every ounce of your love and devotion are felt in every line and every word.  Hugs to you sweetness!!! luv ya!
BSC
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since 02-04-2000
Posts 2942
New York, USA


23 posted 11-20-2000 08:42 PM       View Profile for BSC   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BSC

Oh JM ~ So beautiful, yet so sad, so much heartfelt emotion flowing from your poet's pen...I lost my Dad on New Year's Eve, it will be 10 years ago this year, but....well, you know.  It gives that day a whole new meaning, and each year, as I go out at midnight to ring the old bell, I know he's watching and smiling down on us...Take care sweet lady, my thoughts are with you.  Bonnie
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


24 posted 11-20-2000 08:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is one of the most beautifully done expressions of grief that I have ever read. Your heart is definitely felt in every word. HUGS

Denise
 
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