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Open Poetry #11
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-11-17 04:24 PM


in the drizzle of a day
the matter of a wash of gray
and heartstring tugs
from this to that
a tempering
of love's steel trap
bouquet of daisies
from my girls
kindness colors
hugs in whirl
a bridal gown
behind the glass
my reflection
fading fast
I just can't see
that wearing me...
enraged, I longed
to wander, free,
back to days
of mispent ways
just a knapsack
on my back
and no one else to please...

and they asked
"you like this style?"
"sure..." I lied,
in wicked smile.
"There's but one thing
that this one lacks--
tell me, does it come in black?"

I thought I laughed,
but out came cry--
as I gazed at my demise.
A shroud of beauty
a vision's bleed
to finally bury
what's left of me...
I left, ignoring puzzled stares.
I wept, abhoring what wasn't there.

I cannot do this.
I will not lie.
I cannot marry--
for I have died.

If it's all about the gold,
then why don't I just sell my soul?
(I know, I know,
I'm growing old...)
but damn it all--

I'm growing...


© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-11-17 04:39 PM


This is absolutely the best! A Winner! Superb! So many great lines, I loved them all!  No kidding.  What a ride you took me on!  ALL OF IT!

and yes, you're still GROWING!

More, please!  


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-11-17 04:55 PM


Just blow me out of the water, serenity one!! Man!! What a trip...and you are AWESOME!!

Yes, you are growing - on me!!!  

This was exhausting!

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

3 posted 2000-11-17 05:01 PM


Serenity, this is spectacular   and thank you for the great Friday afternoon read

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2000-11-17 05:03 PM



serenity-
   WOW!!!!  This is awesome!!  
   such depth of emotion in this...
   and i felt it all as i read.  
   an amazing write!!  

   hugs to you,
   -vicky




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-11-17 10:25 PM


You are getting so good at this!!! Leaving me breathless and wanting more! Love how you tell a tale.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-11-18 01:27 AM


I thank you all so much--your kindness is much appreciated....as always...and I know that sounds stale, but I don't mean it that way--you guys are fantastic...I only wish you were here so I could "talk" you awake...lol..

LOVE to you all....special people!!!

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
7 posted 2000-11-18 02:18 AM


This is awesome, absolutely wonderful!!!  

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2000-11-19 05:31 AM


s'en,
Absolutely splendid, but you knew that didn't you. Written from the heart and thank God you're still growing.
Write on
Kethry


Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed?
Rex E. Alford

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-11-19 04:41 PM


kethry, pepper, thank ye much...(I think I've an allergy to wedding gowns...sigh) they just make me feel itchy and claustophobic...lol...(think he's gonna buy that?) thanks and hugs!  argghhhhh....
Passions Voice
Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 291
Michigan
10 posted 2000-11-20 12:48 PM


It does look like that you are growing.

Excellent poem.

passion is life. . . ~Diana

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
11 posted 2000-11-20 12:54 PM


My friend, yes you are continually growing and you are very deeply rooted in this cowboy's heart as a much cherished angel and friend.  No-one and I do mean no-one can write with the depth of yesterday riding on the wings of tomorrow better than you.  Hugs my sweet friend.
spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
12 posted 2000-11-20 01:09 PM


Well done Serene,
Whens the day dear you must tell
Great job, can you match it with your explanation to him?
Rich

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2000-11-20 02:50 PM


Diana, and Mark m'angelheart---thank you much...and Rich?  I've got a list!

1. I forgot?
2. I don't want to rush into anything.
3. I am already secretly married.
4. and how about just, hell no?

LOL..and hugs to all...now please people, go ahead and cook your rice...they'll be NONE of that, thank you!  ROFL....

[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 11-20-2000).]

Rainydays
Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324

14 posted 2000-11-20 03:06 PM


Serenity, this piece is clever, well written and obviously personal. Very nice. Thank you ~

Rainydays

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