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Open Poetry #11
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Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2000-11-17 03:31 AM


I Didn't Hear Me

clear thoughts are needed
so I can close my eyes and breathe
but darkness takes it
all...
and yet again I see myself
in the liquid as it reaches

a drowning of my soul
begins
and terror pushes through

I scream
no one hears
I cry
no one sees

my imagination?

I laugh the laugh of a mad woman
and yet... you heard that

so why didn't you catch
my soul as hurled through
the zone

you know... that zone with
the speed control of
no
  control

where demon talons grip
a tighter hold than
reality

my friend~~
(Yes, I called
myself that once)
it's the
vines..

the vines as they
slowly reach from deep
within the ground

hundreds of years they've
been growing and... Yes
they've tortured others
but
this time
   this time
it's me

make the clock stop ticking
will you
turn the lights off
dont look at me now

you didnt look before
when I screamed
you didn't come when I called

and... I tried
oh God, I've tried so many times

to walk away and leave the
vines where they stood
and... yet no matter where I am

even in sleep they torment me
awake, I can feel the blood
drip from my legs as
once again

they climb~~
my stomach churns
my eyes burn...and yet I know
soon
I should sleep

soon... I will

the madness some say to
accept, makes its bed
and... I sleep with
a demon
of a different kind
tonight

as my fate crashes
to the floor
scattered among
the many
emerald shards
of
another
crystal
wine
glass

© Copyright 2000 Snow - All Rights Reserved
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
1 posted 2000-11-17 03:37 AM


I heard you. I at times expect to be heard, just wish someone knew what I want to say but can't make a sound.
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
2 posted 2000-11-17 04:12 AM


wow..you just made me speed my way through this poem...simply written but i liked the way how it is packed full of imagery and hence how its impact is tremendous....
Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
3 posted 2000-11-17 04:25 AM


thank you both for taking the time to read and comment, I truly appreciate it.

Snow

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
4 posted 2000-11-17 04:38 AM


There's a lot of powerful emotions here!!!  Excellent write; makes you think so you have to read it again

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2000-11-17 02:23 PM



Snow-
   WOW!!!  i know i use that word to
   describe your poetry alot...but it works!  
   this just screams and aches all
   the way through...and you have me
   feeling it with you.

   'my friend~~
    (Yes, I called
    myself that once)
    it's the
    vines..

    the vines as they
    slowly reach from deep
    within the ground

    hundreds of years they've
    been growing and... Yes
    they've tortured others
    but
    this time
       this time
    it's me'

   'as my fate crashes
    to the floor
    scattered among
    the many
    emerald shards
    of
    another
    crystal
    wine
    glass'

   simply incredible, my friend!!  
   i am loving your writing!!!  

   hugs,
   -vicky



  



"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
6 posted 2000-11-17 02:56 PM




Neve, I've always been captive to the way your words work through me...this is no exception.

Robert Joseph
    ~enb~

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-11-17 03:02 PM


Such powerful work...the emotion surged
through this piece like a churning
river...excellent writing~


You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2000-11-18 09:35 PM


Wow!   This was excellent. Images were very powerful, and I think I have felt this way before.  

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
9 posted 2000-11-19 01:35 PM


snow..i love this..i wish i could pick out every line that spoke to me..but i'd have to copy down the most of it!  

hugs, dg


"so lift your heart with mine...the depth to which it grieves is the height to which it can celebrate!" -Lisa Hussey

Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
10 posted 2000-11-19 02:25 PM


pepper, I always love when someone writes something that makes me think, so I thank youfor that comment!

vicky, I like that you use"WOW" lol thank you so very much!!

Robert, thank you so much. enb...very much so!

Butterflies...thank you for that comment, I truly appreciate it.

Tremptress, *smiling* thank you!!

dg, thank you for what you said. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece so much!


Snow

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