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Open Poetry #11
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Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2000-11-16 08:25 PM


Someday you will paint my words

and like an artist's rendering
a lovely line
will lead then to
a lovely scene
a winsome lass
on canvas of green

in your artist's rendering

a cubist, nay, you are not
but rather you would
featherly wrought
a raging sea
of blackish-blue
under sky of grayish hue

and keen-line in a ship
so fine
through port-hole
a glass of Madeira wine
can be seen
if you peer
from the pier
there as you stand
in the distance from
shore
with paintbrush in hand

and if you were to paint my words

and then attempt to
affix me
to canvas light
in day's sun bright
would you rather see
me in moonshine
after a glass or two
or three
of wine

speaking these words
so fine……..

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

do paint me with blessed eyes
of green
a large great smile
and perhaps a patina of sheen,
and if you could
some engaging wise

oh, I do so love you,
you see
when you attempt to look at me
when my words rhyme with "thee"
and when you smile
in my eyes in
the morning at three…

but if you someday should attempt
to paint my words

is there a color that goes with

unheard?




[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 11-16-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

1 posted 2000-11-16 08:36 PM


This is a piece of art!
Excellent!
Very nice read sunshine.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2000-11-16 08:54 PM


*clapping*  applause, well done Sunshine.  Well done indeed.  *brite smiles*

On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free.



jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2000-11-16 09:05 PM


Humble in your presence am I, my friend.  When I grow up, I want to write like you.

jwesley

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
4 posted 2000-11-16 09:36 PM


Sunshine,
Well written, and very enjoyable read. Such talent shown here.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2000-11-16 10:08 PM


Karilea--This is fantastic...I loved every line....Bravo!!! (I am also jumping up and down and clapping..I am!)
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-11-16 10:32 PM


I stand back in awe of this one...I've been
trying my pen at this format and it simply
stands back and laughs at me   But under
your talent the words are woven into
beautiful poetry~


You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2000-11-16 11:25 PM


that would be the color of life. . .

superb. . .  

----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2000-11-17 12:02 PM


How one could paint your words
I swear I'll never know.
I know they'd need, at least,the skill
Of Michaelangelo.

Where would they find the canvas?
That problem would be rough
For I can't think of any canvas
Strong or large enough.

Where would they find the colors?
The standard ones won't do.
A brand new rainbow pallet would
Be needed just for you.

So - paint your words? - Impossible!
A task no one can do.
Your pen must be the paintbrush
And be held by only you.


This is an extremely beautiful poem, Sunshine. The thought, concept and planning very well done...


Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
9 posted 2000-11-17 02:21 AM


standing ovation :

[This message has been edited by Snow (edited 11-17-2000).]

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
10 posted 2000-11-17 02:28 AM


I'll just join in the hearty applause; for another well-done piece of artistry from you

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2000-11-17 09:50 AM


Wow...

thank you insect;

Gentle Spirit, {~,^} thank you...

james, right back at you Sir...

thank you Daniel...

Martie, someday, let me know when I really get it right, OK?...I'm relying on YOU...

BDC, come forward, I will never laugh at you, only with you...

Sven, true...

Balladeer, wow...thank you...I am now thoroughly humbled...

Snow   thanks...

Peppermint, thank you so much for reading...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
12 posted 2000-11-17 09:54 AM


Sunshine~ I loved the way this made me feel....I liked the part about the ocean best, but the poem felt so warm...I enjoyed this very much this morning   -SEA
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
13 posted 2000-11-17 10:45 AM


Kari, this is superb, utterly amazing, oh how you paint with words, truly a masterpiece. Your work is getting better and better, utterly wonderful work.
Take care
            Majestic Marsha
                    


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
14 posted 2000-11-17 10:53 AM


Karilea this is just awesome!!  

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2000-11-17 11:43 AM


SEA, I will attempt to try to pen more that will please you...thank you for reading...

Marsha...my own applause section...aren't you just the best?  thank you...

Whtdove, thanks for flying in to take a peek...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
16 posted 2000-11-17 11:51 AM


Karilea~



'and if you were to paint my words

and then attempt to
affix me
to canvas light

do paint me with blessed eyes
of green'


And a crown of gold for sure.
Lovely, poet lady.
~*Marge*~





~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2000-11-17 11:56 AM


aw...shucks, Marge...[scuffing toe...] now I'm blushing...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
18 posted 2000-11-18 05:02 PM


karilea--
no one would "paint" your words because
there are no colors to compare to the
beauty of this. excellent write!! your
talent is stunning and amazing. take
care.
~amy~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2000-11-19 07:26 AM


Amy, thank you, but I am not stunning nor amazing, I am just grateful to be able to share with a spirit such as you, I do so enjoy your work...thank you...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




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