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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2000-11-15 10:38 AM


The Distance Between Sighs

somehow when the stars hang like that
in ninety degree angles above your head
across the bed in glow,

the painted posies just seem so flat,
they're green against the blue of you in
lighted times as this,

and the stretch of skin between us
clumsy, the curl of pages worn
alone, somehow wakens my insides

a pungent smelling salt effect
the situation has on me and
the distance between sighs,...
screams done.


© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
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with you
1 posted 2000-11-15 10:46 AM


Wow! I just don't know what else to say to this........ -SEA
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-11-15 11:15 AM


Oh,....my!.....

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2000-11-15 11:18 AM


Spitfire ~
Please tell me what motivated this piece.  I am torn in my reading ... don't know where to go.  It has mezmerized me.
Help!

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-11-15 11:19 AM


SpitFire~
One powerful piece of thought ...

'a pungent smelling salt effect
the situation has on me and
the distance between sighs,...
screams done.'


Just WOW'ed ....
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2000-11-15 12:37 PM


the distance between sighs. . . is a breath. . . which is what I had to take after reading this. . .

superb. . .

------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
6 posted 2000-11-15 01:32 PM


Surperb, my friend.

jwesley

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2000-11-15 01:34 PM


Wonderful intense and thought provoking reading...very very good work!!
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
8 posted 2000-11-15 01:52 PM


I must admit that I'm withe veryone else here, and I can't think of a thing to say...
Spitfire, understand that this is such a good thing. WOW doesn't describe this for me... but OH! Followed by a few sighs certainly does. You have composed saddness SO subtle and enchanting... and the awakening of senses, spirit, and ... and... OH! *sigh*

and the stretch of skin between us
clumsy,
~ I am in love with this line.

THANK YOU for this read.
~ Beth

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
9 posted 2000-11-15 02:12 PM


Spitfire-Have to admit to reading this twice, getting a different meaning with each read, but both seem to capture a sadness and also a passion that used to be, very nice write.
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

10 posted 2000-11-15 11:52 PM


~Wanted to thank all you sweet people for reading and commenting. You make my heart smile. I'd write more but I'm short on time and wanna read some of the others before it's back to my paper. Anyway, thank you, thank you!  . *Peace.
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2000-11-16 12:08 PM


SpitFire,

That distance can seem like an eternity my friend.  This was awesome you.  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2000-11-16 02:32 PM


somehow when the stars hang like that
in ninety degree angles above your head
across the bed in glow,

=======================
and the stretch of skin between us
clumsy, the curl of pages worn
alone, somehow wakens my insides

a pungent smelling salt effect
the situation has on me and
the distance between sighs,...
screams done.
=============
you have this amazing gift for expressing so much emotion and adding a poetic kick in the butt of IMPACT ...
and doing it all in a few very well chosen
and very poetically spoken words ...

in other words...YOU ROCK ...  
awesome work here!!!!
later-less is way more-gator
jm



"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
Lao Tze Tao

~Butterflies are meant to be free~


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2004-06-06 07:59 PM


oh ...wow
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2005-08-21 02:58 AM


Stumbled onto this and realized just how much I miss reading your work.  Simply amazing.


"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero" ~ Horace
"Live Like You Were Dying" ~ Tim McGraw

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