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Open Poetry #10
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Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869


0 posted 2000-11-14 05:10 PM


In the grace of lambent light
he watches her body move
her shadow ..her eyes..her lips
the curve of her shapely hips
she sits in the corner alone
in lambent light of the room
within mirrors and the smoke
and scent of sweet perfume
he smiles and says "hello"
she shyly says "i have to go"
the cocktail waiter winks
"I think her name is Rose"
"her mother use to dance here
and drink and smoke and cuss
and leave lil Rose in the corner
with dirty glasses and cigar butts
she loved all the flirting men
and stayed up after hours
lil Rose slept in the back
always sweet as a flower
after her mother died
she didnt even cry
but she comes here every night
im not quite sure why?"



A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


© Copyright 2000 Victoria - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2000-11-14 05:16 PM


Very nice Victoria...I met her once and oh how she loved her mom...James
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2000-11-14 05:40 PM


That's sad stuff you got going here... I think her mother should have been removed from lil Rose long before such an impression could taint her mind...however, this is real life writing and the story whether concocted or true should be told....great idea Victoria....keep up the good work....ethome
Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

3 posted 2000-11-14 06:53 PM


thank you James and ethome..appreciate your comments very much..

              ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
4 posted 2000-11-14 07:20 PM


Victoria,
I knew a "Lil Rose", just like you portrayed. She was a very tragic little person.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
5 posted 2000-11-14 07:42 PM


Victoria.......
After playing music in bars all over the West Coast, I think I have seen lil' Rose in about all of them. It's tragic, but you've penned it better than any one else ever could.  This has to be my favorite......it's just so familiar.  


Follow your dream!


Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

6 posted 2000-11-14 09:11 PM


Thank you JD and Sunny.. not sure where this sad poem came from ..i just started writing one day about Lil Rose..appreciate your comments though...

                ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2000-11-14 09:13 PM


This really got to me.  I believe every Rose needs a mother she can be proud of.  Sad to say, some aren't.  I hate to think of where i would be had I not had the best one anyone could have.< !signature-->

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen




[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 11-14-2000).]

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

8 posted 2000-11-15 06:47 AM


Thank you for peeking in Kathleen.Yes a shame some are not blessed with a loving mother. HUGS

               ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
9 posted 2000-11-15 08:40 AM


So sad Victoria ~ It's such a shame so many little ones do live this way.  You have penned this tale beautifully.  Bonnie
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

10 posted 2000-11-15 10:05 PM


yes.. i guess there are alot of lil roses in the world..thank you for reading Bonnie..appreciate you peeking in..

              ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

11 posted 2000-11-15 10:09 PM


Victoria, this is such a sad piece. It's awful to think that little children grow up like that. You've done some wonderful storytelling, however.

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.



vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2000-11-16 11:09 AM


ENJOY THE READ!!!!!!!
dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
13 posted 2000-11-16 11:16 AM



What a touching story, and written well.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

14 posted 2000-11-16 06:52 PM


lovebug..thank you and im glad you enjoyed.

vandana..thank you vandana..and for stopping by..

dragonpoe ..thanks for peeking in today..

           Appreciate all your comments
                    ~Victoria~



A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


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