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Open Poetry #10
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Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas

0 posted 2000-11-13 11:39 PM


Oh, okay Nan.  You convinced me.  That sure was hard.  *grins*


Two Dollar Bucket Hats Conquer the World

There is a hat
on my head,
but it's still sitting
across the room
on top of the television,
and I don't know
what to do about that.

I can see the hat there
(13 tiles over; 6 drawers + 1 tv up),
but I must be wearing it
because my hair is
limp and motionless,
and it will not experience
the moment.

There is no other explanation.

There could be a moment when
the wind blows and
the sun shines and
a few other things happen
that might catch my attention
so that I’ll take a breath...

-- frisbee arcing with
   moon in tow; Pegasus hunts
   for a breeze tonight --

...and let it out again,
with everything the same,
but the moment is gone
and the hat is still on my head
even though it is on the television
in my room, and I am not.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


© Copyright 2000 Ryan Williams - All Rights Reserved
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
1 posted 2000-11-13 11:50 PM


ryan..i love this!  somewhat abstract..reminds me a bit of dr seuss mixed with shel silverstein!  

very cool  

hugs, dg


"so lift your heart with mine...the depth to which it grieves is the height to which it can celebrate!" -Lisa Hussey

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
2 posted 2000-11-13 11:55 PM


Sometimes you baffle me and I just feel like smashing my head up against the wall.  
*grins*
Scratch that...don't want to start that again so soon.

Anyways, I don't think I know the feeling your talking about here. You think a hat is on your head, but it is really on the tv (across the room, I might add), but it is taking over the world at the same time?  

Nevermind, lets go back to my first comment.  Sometimes you really do baffle me and I feel like smashing my head up against a wall.

*grins*  Luvdit!

Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
3 posted 2000-11-14 12:14 PM


Wonderful. I loved it. Strange yet decidedly moving at the same time. I really enjoyed this. Keep it up.
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
4 posted 2000-11-14 12:38 PM


Ryan,

I read this a few times am still confused
about what your saying with the hat across the room and your seemingly wearing it on your head, but its on the T.V. and conqueoring the world. but its very interesting and I enjoy a thought provoking poem and hope you'll post some more.

-Poeminister



Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
5 posted 2000-11-14 01:09 AM


Thank you all for your comments.  Forgive me for not individually thanking you guys, but it's oh so late here in the middle of Kansas and I'm almost ready to go sleep.  So thanks again for reading.  Glad you liked it.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
6 posted 2000-11-14 01:28 AM


Sleep schmeep!  You've got eleven hours until you absolutely have to be awake.  You are a strange college boy, Ry.  
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2000-11-14 05:51 AM


It has taken me a while to get used to you two but now I know the story I been having quite a chuckle over it.....and this is very interesting this poem....and if the hat holds  that many meanings I guess in your own eyes it can conquer the world...have a nice day.. ethome
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
8 posted 2000-11-14 05:57 AM


What on earth did Nan ask of you???  
This is an interesting piece...

~
frisbee arcing with
moon in tow; Pegasus hunts
for a breeze tonight
~

Fabulous lines!


~ Beth

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2000-11-14 07:37 AM


Velly intellesting, Ryan...

I really do like it... I just don't get to watch much TV lately... Maybe that's where I left my gloves... I'll go check...

I'm still scratching my head... but that's OK... It was itchy anyway...

Yep.. I likesit..

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
10 posted 2000-11-14 08:32 AM


Ryan,

   This poem was interesting.  That is the best word to describe...lol.  I am with the everyone else..slightly confused.. but I liked it.

~~Tara aka rp25 :o)

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
11 posted 2000-11-14 08:54 AM


Ryan - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??? I've been waiting up for you all night long!!! *smooch*

now , lemme tell ya what i think of this... it's really really good... i mean... don't get me wrong because i know you know me and i know you  know i'm not just the type of person to go around patting poets on the back for no reason... i usually have an ulterior motive...  

but seriously, no... it's good... good good good... really good... it's a dream... the images are good, the structure is good, the writing is sofa king good... i mean i loved it... i especially liked the stanza while you were taking a breath... stuck there in the middle... made me finally breathe....

this, my dear friend is a breath of fresh air... thanks for coming back to bless us with your presents... er, i mean presence *g

no go study or something and write some more cool poetry in the margins because that's all there is, y'know? just margins... margins of opportunity.... and i'll be lookin' for ya, kiddo! to be able to write this well at your age is a gift... er, a present... take care  

- all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry -

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
12 posted 2000-11-14 11:23 AM


Thanks all for your replies.  The fact that everybody is left confused by it is kind of troubling to me.  I can understand why maybe.  I'm not particularly happy with certain parts of this draft anyway.  I believe it is time for a trip to the cutting board better known as CA.  Once again, thanks for the replies and for reading.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
13 posted 2000-11-14 11:35 AM


i didn't find it confusing at all.... on the contrary.... i have the same hat, same tv, same limp motionless head and IMHO, this piece needs no CA

though often you may think i could use some critical analysis of the couched kind.... not this time... it's a well written piece, ryan and if i were you i wouldn't slice it dice it or any other way alter a word of it

peace.

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
14 posted 2000-11-14 05:45 PM


Thanks for the comments Doreen.  I dunno though.  I find it hard to believe I've perfected it yet.  Sheesh, look at me, grown cynical in my old age.  *grins*  You wanna know something funny?  I've been wearing that damn hat all day.  Huh. It's gotta be irony or coincidence or something.  Okay, I should really go now and study.  Damn college tests always out to get me.  Someday I'll write a poem in calculus, and then no one can say that calculus has no real life applications.  Thanks for the encouragement.  See ya around this crazy place.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


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