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lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho

0 posted 2000-11-13 04:27 PM


I don't know why I did it!
But what if I make a mistake?
You mean I'm not supposed to think all the time?
Don't get me mad!
I can't stop worrying even when I try.
I just can't seem to get started.
I can't throw that away, what if I need it some day?
My house is always a mess.
Why do I speak without thinking first?
I get so mad at other drivers!
My life is up and down.
It seems I have to work so hard to be happy when others don't.
I hate it when people don't like me.
I have no energy.
What's the point, it's not going to work out anyway.
It's my way or the highway.
I hate being quiet, I feel so restless.
I read the whole page and I can't remember what I read.
I need to check it out just one more time.
When I die the pain will finally go away.
I can't believe what I've done.  I'll never forgive myself.
I'm not meant to be happy.
I realize food is a drug for me, but I still can't stop eating.
People think I'm weird.
I feel so angry.
It's so hard to make decisions.
I deserve to suffer.
What's the point, there's no hope anyway.
I have such a bad temper.
I'm a nervous wreck.
Why are the tests always normal?  Something must be wrong.
My PMS is awful.
I think I have a chemical imbalance.
I hate myself.
Marijuana and alcohol are the only things that give me some peace.
I can't stand feeling like I'm going to die or go crazy.
Stress turns me into a monster.
Don't ask me to do any paperwork!
Deja vu, things feeling unreal, I'm afraid to tell anybody.
Prozac made me feel hyper and scared.
Don't even try to interrupt me when I'm doing something I like.
Nothing ever really works for my depression.
I get bad moods for no good reason.
My mind never, ever stops.
Anxiety, rage, depression and despair.
It's so hard to listen and pay attention.
I feel so empty inside.
I just can't seem to get things finished.
Why do I like drugs and danger?
How could it be nerves?
Why do I get myself into so much trouble?
Why can't I have a happy, successful relationship?
I'm afraid of medicines, I'm allergic to everything.
Prozac stopped working.
Isn’t there something you can do?
Should I be somewhere other than here?
If so where?



[This message has been edited by lucky (edited 11-13-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Dale W. Gwaltney - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2000-11-13 04:39 PM


Hi...this is extremely intense and very sad and the only thing I can do is tell you to email me anytime you want to talk I'll try and help any way I can....The other suggestion is to seek professional help on a regular basis...these people are more amazing than you know...they have studied human behaviour for hundreds of years and they can help even though you think they can't right now.....the other thing I know from experience is that drugs and alcohol won't solve this problem...anything mood altering is never the answer...I know you're afraid but you have many things available to help you...like checking into one of the help centers found around the states....you are worth more to yourself than you know you just have to realize it.....my line is open.... with love ....ethome
lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
2 posted 2000-11-13 04:47 PM


ethome,

Hi... You are extremely intense and very funny... LOL... thanx for the tips.


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-11-13 04:56 PM


lucky--I know there are alot of people caught in this feeling that you have described so well...(I don't think you are one of them, although we all feel this way now and then...hopeless)...even the writing is done in the jerky way of someone desperate and unsure.  You have captured it well.... Many hugs to you, my friend...you know I love you!!
lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
4 posted 2000-11-13 06:05 PM


Martie,
    So you know "alot" of people caught in these delimas... yuh. You better be careful girl. So you knew it wasn't me... good lookin' out Sis. Thanks for the compliment ... "even the writing is done in the jerky way of the desperate and unsure and how I had captured it well. That's nice comming from you. hugs to you too... love ya Sis

lucky dale


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-11-13 08:58 PM


Lucky~
Have a bad hair day ?

'Should I be somewhere other than here?
If so where?'


*Poof !*



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
6 posted 2000-11-13 09:51 PM


Marge,

"poof" now look at what you've gone and done. I think I'm gonna have to cry followed by a nervous breakdown. Why do I even try.

love ya gal, dale



Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am.
To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight.
-Marge Tindal

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
7 posted 2000-11-13 10:31 PM


WOW!   Whewwwwwww!............ Intense!
Jenn E

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
8 posted 2000-11-14 05:12 AM


Thanks Jenn,
just some odd ideas, maybe someone will catch something from it. Who can know.

dale


poetic_imperfection
Junior Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 45

9 posted 2000-11-14 05:42 AM


MAN ol MAN ol MAN  ....you had me into this one the entire time. Actually I felt like this once, no I am not crazy..   You definatly described it well. Nice writing and could you do one about being a nemphomaniac.  That would be a good but hard one and no, I'm not one of those either..Take care..PLY

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
10 posted 2000-11-14 10:18 AM


PLY,
Interesting concept being a guy and all... I've been around a couple... but that was many years ago... then I got married and shortly after my wife came down with that very same virus. thank U
dale


Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
11 posted 2000-11-15 11:05 PM


This is way too good to languish away from page one - I'm not 'online' nearly as much as I'd like and I watched your name 'disappear' before I could respond - This is so very good I've added it to my library - keep on writing Dale - I've got many more good words to ply you with.
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