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Since Last December
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Since Last December |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets 
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Five days since last December, And still the cold clings to me. I pull tighter this cloak of forgiveness, Wrapped in its protecting warmth. The chill wind bites at my skin, Stinging my face, my hands, my memory As I am again drifted back into The realms of last December. Guilt ripped at my soul, as I walked Away from my life, from you. Tears refused to come, stone-faced I ran, ran from it all, the responsibility. I can picture your black-streaked eyes, Staring obliquely through rain-streaked windows As your cold shoulder silently says goodbye To me as the door slams with my retreat. Five months and sorrow remains, internal Pity pulls at my heart, and again my soul. A single rose I place at your doorstep, In hopeful forgiveness, warmth from the cold. Five weeks I wait in depression, five cold weeks I wait nightly for a single headlight To find my apartment, and say It's all right. And in five weeks I receive no sign. Four days since last December, And still the cold clings to me. I receive a gift of forgiveness, A cloak to keep out the fear, the depression. Six days since last December, And I lay in forgetfulness behind an empty wall, Behind an empty room, to bask in radiant glory From the setting sun of my life. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Philip Zemler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Masked Intruder, what pain this poem reveals. *HuGS* be well Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Four days since last December, And still the cold clings to me. I receive a gift of forgiveness, A cloak to keep out the fear, the depression. Six days since last December, And I lay in forgetfulness behind an empty wall, Behind an empty room, to bask in radiant glory From the setting sun of my life. ============ MI, this is excellent ... my goodness...such a lonley, haunted piece your have expressed the torment and desperation so well the reader feels the chill. The use of the calendar days counting off were very effective and added greatly to the poems emotive pull very well written take care jm "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" Lao Tze Tao ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
I skimmed the first stanza and got bored so I went to hit my head against the wall really hard. Ryan< !signature--> I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac [This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 11-13-2000).] |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
MI~ this is so sad......this made my heart feel heavy.....I love it when poetry does that to me! Excellent write  -SEA |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Kethry- Thanks for the hugs, they are always appreciated. Janet Marie- Thank you for putting so much time into a response. It's not often I get an in depth response. SEA- Thank you, too. Glad to hear that I'm affecting people. And Ryan- I don't know what to say besides I hope it hurt a whole *beepin* lot, you piece of *beep*! Well, that said, I think you should go to hell and learn some *beepin* manners. Jerk. |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Your poetry often creates winders. This is very pensive and chilling, it compelled me to read a few times through. Very well written. Hopeing things will look up for you. Take care -Poeminister "...no single sound too rude Upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." --Ed |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
I wouldn't have beaten my head against the wall if you hadn't written such a bad poem. I mean, the cliches make me want to wretch and the poorly conveyed whiny emotions make me want to disembowel myself and use my intestines as spaghetti for dinner. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Intruder you're really crying from the depths of the soul in this one.....it's a wave of sadness throughout with your heart pleading and yearning...oh what pain and sorrow that can be ...I went through it with my first love...did'nt think I was going to live some of the time.....tricky stuff that love....it can thrill ya then kill ya...but you know things always get better and time heals and at the end of that particular road you might even say to yourself... man! what a wonderful lesson I just learned and as I look back I can realize that it was'nt going to work anyway....and the beat goes on and you're happy again and a new and stronger man .....take care...ethome.... |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
What is stopping Ryan. He should go to it, if he feels so compelled ,rather than write disrespectful and ignorant comments. |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Poeminister- Thanks for taking the time to read. Ethome- thrill ya then kill ya...yep that about wraps it up. *smiles* Ryan- How bout I ignore you for a few hours and see if you're feeling better after eating your intestines for dinner? That okay with you or should I just come up with some more cliches and laugh at you wretching? *beep*er! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"I wait nightly for a single headlight " great line here, MI... this one's got a spirit of persuassion along with the kind of true sincerity i admire in poetry... nicely done... you have a way of relaying emotion so the reader can feel it.. no WAIT!! that wasn't YOU!! i was already depressed... hehe    |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Intestines sure are good, and after looking at this poem again, I think I might go have a second helping for dinner. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Ryan~ you don't belong here........... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
yes he does too!!! :P lol |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Ryan, I hope you choke and die! You are a disgrace to this board and a disgrace to mankind with your rude and snide comments on a perfectly good poem. So, there! Go crawl in a hole and die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Or at least shut the *beep* up! *calming down* So, Doreen...depressed are we? Join the club. *grins* After this little argument comes to a conclusion, I might have been pushed right over the edge. Might go so far as to kill Ryan's lil white @ss! *grins* Love ya, thank ya, and good night... |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Die? Ha, you can't get rid of me that easily. This poem is so bad that I won't be going anywhere until I personally see it burned to cinders in a tire fire. See, I rhymed. That's a better poem than your random mess of crap up above. So you can take that and shove it down your throat (and into your intestines and then I'll eat them for breakfast tomorrow). Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
The way you're carrying on, Ryan, I don't think I want to do it the easy way. I figure I'll come up with some great way to make you die slowly. Very slowly! Then I'll feed you to my dog, and she'll be very happy about that, 'cuz she so enjoys eating PIG meat! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Well, beings we've sorta lost our "everythings beautiul…and everyone thinks so…not matter what, in this piece" I'll say this. Ryan has a right to his opinion as much as anyone else does. He said his piece and did it with out the *bleeping* that other's needed. So whose manner's are showing?? I think the lack of manner's is the offensive manner in which You responded. You could have just ignored it and gone on. In truth I think your piece was well done. I didn't find it boring at all, but I did have some confusion in the transition between the 5 days, then 5 months, then 5 weeks, then 4 days, then 6 days. Is this order correct? By the way, did either you or Ryan read Balladeer's note to everyone?? Just in case here it is: " As everyone here knows, we have many Forums here at Passions, each with specific interests in mind. The Open Forum, for example, is the forum which includes a wide variety of all types of poetry. It is the forum that most poets use and it is the forum that most guests visit. It is considered a "family" forum in the regard that any member of a family can feel comfortable reading the poetry posted in the Open Forum. Parents can know that there will not be poems with profanity, glorification of suicide or substance abuses, and overtly sexual references because there are indeed many underage visitors to the site. Our members have always adhered to these rules but, lately, there has been an increase in how much our "love" poetry is pushing the limits of good taste and sexual imagery. We do have certain rules which were explained as you applied for membership in an e-mail and, if anyone needs a refresher on them I, or any other moderator will be happy to go over them with you. We would ask that you please govern yourselves and, as a quick rule of thumb when you post something, imagine that a twelve year old minor is reading it and ask yourself if it would be acceptable for them to read. Is this a form of censorship? Of course! It's a private site and Mr. Ron Carnell should not suffer the embarrasement of receiving angry letters from parents over the contents of his site. I am locking this thread against replies. I don't want this turned into a discussion thread. If any poets want to carry this into a discussion I suggest the Feelings or the Alley Forums. Moderators, please unlock this occasionally and keep it current so as many members as possible can see it. I only ask that you police yourselves according to your standards of good taste. I will attempt to do the same since I have been as guilty as anyone else (by Balladeer)" jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 11-13-2000).] |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
I have a dog and she is not a hog and she does not like hog meat because she is a dog. That is a poem. Your's is not a poem. Your's reads like some piece of overdramatic prosaic rhymy-pimey piece of crap that Byron would have written. Get with the times and stop writing such pure crap. You're responses are more poetic than your journal entry. And I sure hope your dog likes intestines. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
If you two don't cut it out, I'm gonna banish all raccoons and green polar bears to live in Kansas for the duration of their days... which are seriously numbered.... cause I happen to have connections there... and all of these raccoons and polar bears will have to live in the same forest... together... and live happily ever after writing children's fairy tales..... BIG SMOOOOOOOOCHES to both of you... you silly schmucks...  |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Ryan- Well, thankyou for a compliment amid all that bologna that you spewed forth. I truly am honored that you are comparing me to Byron. You should read some of his stuff more often. It is much more interesting than that Kerouac crap you like to read and quote! Dangit, Nan! Stop giving away our fun like that! *Grins* [This message has been edited by Masked Intruder (edited 11-13-2000).] |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Psha. Byron was almost as bad as that Shakespeare stuff they made us read. I mean, that was awful. And your poem is worse. Kerouac would stomp your poem to the ground anyday. So yeah, go back to your little journal entries and post here again when you can write something that doesn't make people want to eat their intestines for dinner. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Masked Intruder: Nice poetry ya have here! Did I ever tell ya I'm a permanent fan of your work, ALTHOUGH, I don't get to see it enough these days? *pouts* Ohh..and you and Ryan settle down before I put you both in the corner or make you sit on the couch with your arm around each other!! *Jenn* My name isn't Baby, and I don't want to cyber. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
... and Ryan.. Shakesbeer... He's da man... You'll have to be reading his complete works while you're exiled... |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Jenn- I think Ryan would enjoy that last part a bit too much for my comfort. *grins* Nan- I think that would bother him just a touch too much. lol Ryan- Go chew on a pencil! Oh wait, you obviously don't have any, cuz if you are a writer then I am the God of Literature. |
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Dakota Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 125New York |
Masked Intruder~ First may I say you did a superb job of conveying your feelings.... And second about all the Ahem! witty banter ... well lets just say if as much energy were put toward poetry we would have another book to publish already...lol Take Care Dakota |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Hey, what gives you the right to make personal attacks? You're the one who started this whole thing. So why don't you take your sorry little butt off to whatever corner you came from and stay there for the next year or 50. Then maybe you'll be able to write a worthwile poem (or accept the truth that you didn't). We don't need this kind of crap taking up the bandwidth that could be better served holding my masterpieces. Oh, and yeah, btw, how's the car looking? Last I heard, pretty nice. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
ALRIGHT! I'm gonna count to three!! ONE.............TWO.........errr...T...DARN! I lost count!! ROTFLMAO@Ryan and his car comment! Thats another point! Ryan?? About enjoying it..something you wanna share with the group, here? |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Ryan, even though my car is all smashed up it still looks ten, no twenty times better than that purple piece of metal that you drive! |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Yeah, I'll remember that next time I'm driving my purple car and your red (is it still even red?) hunk of junk is sitting in a ditch on the side of the road. And hell, while we're at it, my car could write better poetry than you've been posting lately. Wait, of course my car could write better poetry b/c yours isn't even poetry at all. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
On My.....this is amazing.....simply perfect writing. I felt every word, every chill......everything.......So vivid with colors of your heart. Hauntingly beautiful.....An amazing write........WOW....... Jenn E |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
What gives me the right? First of all, I am a god compared to your useless form. You are the amoeba that floats in the puddle stranded in the middle of a University parking lot, living in the beer, gas, and barf of college kids. Only you would go to a school with purple as the school color. I don't know what you were thinking! OH wait, yes I do, you don't think! Ever! It hurts your poor mind to perform such a futile attempt at existance. And what's this about your car writing poetry? Are you saying that your car has a larger brain than you do? I might agree with that. But that would mean that your six squirrel power purple machine might think ahead enough to break down before it gets to that demeaning school that you call home. |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Yes, if you are a god, I might just might go pray to Satan to embrace my soul so I can avoid an eternity with you. And go learn to read so that maybe then you can understand what I'm saying and not make a complete idiot of yourself (moreso than you really are) by misinterpreting me. I hope those big words didn't confuse your little petty brain. I'm so sowwy if they did. Wait, NO I'M NOT. Go back to skipping and flunking classes and stop wasting our time with your crap. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
RYAN..!!! Let's see you post something - show our new poets yer stuff, my friend - It's a whole new audience for you since you've been here... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
The arguing only helps to overload an already overworked server and that's not fair to the rest of the members here...thanks..ethome |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Lol. I do believe our little game is over. It's been fun. Time for this to sink away into the depths of that scary place called the archive. *grins* Oh, Nan, I occasionally throw some things out for viewing in CA. Maybe I'll bring a few over here sometime soon. Like I said, it's been fun. I'm outta here for now. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Yeah, I guess we should have told everyone we're about best friends, eh Ryan? LOL Oops! *grins* |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
ROFL!!!!!!!ryan... oh never mind..... ((((hug)))) and MI - geez.. you'd think you were fighting with security gaurds or something trying to find a getcherself outof a tree you got stuck in ummm... well anyway... here's to ya!!! BOTH! *smooch* and Nan... can't you DO something about this kind of thing in the forums??? after all, you ARE a moderator, aren't you? good grief of all the poets on the planet MI and Ryan, they can man it! thanks for alleviating my pain... lol... i needed this *g - all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry - |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
and here i thought with 37 replies this poem must be good but boy was i wrong yuh... talk about an easy reply heheh hello names walt your poems are pretty good so far new guy...hahahahahah yuh |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Wayout- Are you calling my poem bad?! Huh, are ya? You see what happened the last time that happened!? ROTFLMFAO!!!!! Oh, it hurts.... |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
hmmm well personally I thought it was a very good piece. nice to see you around MI drop me a line if you get a chance. you know my numbers and stuff. I don't know what all is going on back and forth so I won't get involved. but last I checked polar bears couldn't fit their fat asses in a car to drive it, so therefore I'm willing to take 4 to 1 odds that MI's car looks better. any takers? |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Lol. At least polar bears don't lose traction on ice and spin out of control. *grins* Sorry, that was cold. But I bet you can take it MI. *grins some more* Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Nice I like this alot. Haunting visuals. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Green Polar Bears have to live in the forest... and they have less traction... ... and I have proof that Raccoons frequently get stuck in trees..  |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
*taking notes* Geesh...Hope ya didn't have to call the rescue squad! |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Masked Intruder-I think I lost the forest for the trees, but getting back to your poem, I think it was beautiful, filled with sadness and emotion and very well said, have been there once or twice myself marked days with sadness and emotion. Peace and hugs my friend. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I miss your writing and I sure miss the old days (well the old days I know anyway) you have older days. The pain in this piece was the definition of alone, and you nailed it! |
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