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Open Poetry #10
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It Hurts My Head
| Open Poetry #10 |
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It Hurts My Head |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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Missed you last evening when time stands still I turned to be with you and feel that old thrill I felt a cold wave run through my veins my memory stirred my heart filled with pain my eyes filled up alone in my bed the moment was cruel weighed on me like lead my heart thoughts aching you left me for dead it hurts my head. I bolted up frightened to escape the bad dream I started choking and I struggled to breathe gasping I wondered if I could be blamed for loving too hard an obsession insane I felt myself fighting a coming undone your leave unexpected a hard hit and run I charged you with treason I wished you were dead it hurts my head. Here in this cold room it hardly seems fair your voice is an echo that calls everywhere I missed your devices I missed your designs I saw no reason to see you unkind you used the power of lies like a drug you numbed my senses with selfish false love there's no forgiveness I wish you were dead it hurts my head I saw you last evening when time stands still somewhere your image far over a hill there in the distance your worn battered face a sad lonely picture full of trouble and pain your arms stretched out to me your times were tough and the road coming back was rocky and rough I fight back my mercy should I leave you for dead oh it hurts my head........... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
well written my friend. Sounds like you've got a real quandry there. Don't envy you at all, thought I'd probably leave things dead, dead. jwesley |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ethome, this is wrenching... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Ethome, This is really very sad and deep. I hope you are coping well, take it easy. "a sad lonely picture full of trouble and pain your arms stretched out to me" Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Sunshine for taking the time to read this one.....ethome Thanks jwesley for dropping in for the read.. please come back sometime....ethome... |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Ethome* This left goosebumps on my arms...you wrote with such depth and emotion an awesome display of your talent and gift of weave...I can only thank you for sharing it here...excellent! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
ethome...I dont know what to say...there is such pain and anger here...some things are better left dead no matter how we might hope for a ressurection... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Butterflies I appreciate your goose bumps and especially your comments. Thanks Paula it's not a personal thing but a friend of mine who's going through such pain right now....he just left his guitars and amplifiers here at my place tonight because he was afraid that she might come back and smash them when he's not home...sad ..they have two young children together and she just walked out...I can't figure it! |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
ethome, Wow. This is so powerful. Such pain expressed so very clearly. |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
You wrote it well; how sad that things come to this pass. I hope your friend the best; but then he has you, doesn't he  < !signature-->Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley [This message has been edited by peppermint35 (edited 11-13-2000).] |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Ethome, this is so well written, really describes those feelings of betrayal. Marvellously portrayal of how lives can turn into hell. I suppose I'm lucky, no suppose about it, I know I'm lucky. Wonderful write my friend, absolutely wonderful. Take care Mmushy Marsha  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
ethome, I am reading your poetry after a long time, and this is excellent stuff that I am reading... really excellent... My regards, sudhir |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Daniel I'm sorry I overlooked you before thanks for the comment and taking the time. Thanks rosepetals for the kind comment... much appreciated. Thanks peppermint for stopping in to read I enjoyed your commnet..ethome |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
very emotional piece And heartwrenching But well written werse Liz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Missed you last evening when time stands still I turned to be with you and feel that old thrill I felt a cold wave run through my veins my memory stirred my heart filled with pain my eyes filled up alone in my bed the moment was cruel weighed on me like lead my heart thoughts aching you left me for dead it hurts my head. ================ getting tricky and clever with those E-rhymes are ya  I like the style you chose to write this emotive, melodic, piece ... when ever I read you ..there is always a melody dancing in my head ... must be cause your poetry sings to me later-keeping time with rhyme-gator me |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so much Marsha for the kind words and I'm very happy for you that you are lucky and don't have to worry about such things...this is about a friend of mine who is going throu gh hell....thanks again. Hey Sudhir! great to hear from you!..like you I have been reading some of your latest here at Passions and you certainly have'nt lost your touch....take care...ethome |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Elizabeth I just reloaded this page and found your name and comment and I thank you very much for your comments...ethome And my poet pal Janet..what can I say VANtastic thanks for reading and thanks for the clever word ...not so sure that one fits but I love ya anyway...have a good day ..ethome |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
ethome--You show a great deal of empathy in your poem about your friend...enough to make it very real and wrenching...enough to worry us who care for you, so I'm glad it is not you! Powerful writing, my friend! |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
ethome, Didn't mean to alarm you with "HELP..!" I had been picking up as many things as I could find on such a subject and after I had read yours I threw it in... pretty good huh. Yours is too. Mine was not serious though. I just thought it had allot of good ideas to share. stay healthy, lucky |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Lucky don't worry about a thing it's just fine.....if your poem was that good to fully convince me then you should be proud of how well you wrote it.....take care....ethome.... |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
This really pulls at the readers heart......a wonderful write....... Jenn E |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Jenn I really appreciate your comment....ethome |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~WooHoo,...this got me all stirred up. "Loving too hard",...that line really stabs me,...the whole thing really,...reaches me. Take care. *Peace. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Amazing, isn't it, how "I wish you were dead" can translate into "Why have you done this? I love you" but that's the way it works sometimes and that's what I got out of it...excellent writing, ethome |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Spitfire for the woohoo have'nt had one of those in a while ...thanks again. I know what you mean Balladeer the hurt is so unbelievable but that's because it is so infected with broken love.....worst feeling in the world...thanks for dropping in... ethome |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Man, those headpains sure get to ya once in a while, eh? Excellent read...felt your pain! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks for the comment Intruder...... not my pain here but I appreciate that you thought it was...it's about a friend going through hell on earth......ethome |
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