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Red Rain......reposted for Veteran's Day
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Red Rain......reposted for Veteran's Day |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Red Rain Would you like a cold glass of ice tea, she asked as the sun descended into a sky that looked like white silk. He stayed drinking ice tea as shadows fell on the day and then he was drafted walking hand in hand he told her and turned off enchantment. They were promised to each other with long and passionate letters. Killing was not in him and he was sick from the fear of it. He had seen his friend turn in the middle of a laugh into a land mine and disappear, after that he kept to himself afraid friendship would breed more pain. Then it was his turn. As she turned the bed down his last moments were in her Technicolor, in the trenches watching the quiet of the morning, she could hear a song bird and her love’s loud breathing and a frantic heart beat was it his was it hers? Be still she said but he was running towards the top where death was then the hill exploded like red rain. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
He had seen his friend turn in the middle of a laugh into a land mine and disappear, after that he kept to himself afraid friendship would breed more pain. Then it was his turn. As she turned the bed down his last moments were in her Technicolor, in the trenches watching the quiet of the morning, she could hear a song bird and her love’s loud breathing and a frantic heart beat when I read these verses... a chill went down my spine that made me shudder... now I seem to be a loss for words love ya me |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I was just an underage kid playing at work, trying to earn money for college... but my employer was Fort Polk... gateway to Vietnam for so many... and I grew up quickly. This brings tears, Martie... it's incredible. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Martie, I do remember this, so sad, the ending just stabs at the heart. Excellent write my dear Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Powerful writing. (wiping tears) Excellent writing......am saving this one. Just stunning. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Tears - tender tears fall in remembrance of those who fell. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes, Martie, I remember this one vividly. Thank you very much for sharing it again... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thank you poet friends for reading or re reading this poem of one heart break of many...our veterans gave and give so much tears and courage for our country. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Those last lines are unforgettable I remember this well and still it had the same powerful impact I'm glad you reposted it Liz |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Never have I read a war poem with greater impact - I hate war - and any poem that points up its horrors - deserves prominence - we solve nothing with war as history has so amply deminstrated - This touched me so - I still remember the classmate from grammer school - who was killed in Korea even before I graduated from High School - in just such a manner. Thank you |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
You know how this one touched me from the first time I read it and it has the same impact if not more today. I spent my whole life growing up in the military and have been connected to it ever since and I have far too many memories of friends and acquaintances that this piece brings to mind for me to point to a single one. Just know that tears form once again from your lovely verse. Wonderfully depicted and very vivid imagery in every line. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Martie this writing is Top Gun...that means the best....James |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
"He had seen his friend turn in the middle of a laugh into a land mine and disappear," that, martie, was my favourite part of a really powerful poem ... thank you P |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Very powerful writing, just like love, war is understood by every race creed and color, and I am envious of your talent to portray it so clearly. Excellent work. Regards Olias |
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Poet's Sister Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80North Carolina |
Martie - My husband is a Vietnam veteran and he has many horrors locked inside him that I could never want or hope to understand. This poem made me weep for him and all the others who have experienced the horror of war. Thanks for the repost from those of us who missed this the first time around. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thanks again for all your caring and heart felt replies to this poem...I appreciate it more then I can say. |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Nice repost Martie, Thanks for the nice words on mine too. This gives me some ideas. The houses went on the market yesterday... It's up to the Big Guy now. What a job it's been. Love to all of yours. dale |
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