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Open Poetry #10

Make me feel no more

BirdeeB
Member

since 2000-09-16

Posts 106
USA

0 posted 2000-11-10 12:58 PM

slowly chant my name over and over
until its so sadistcally envisioned into
brain

disillusion by the imperfection
that passes you by

Pace back and forth try to
control those thoughts of ..

control

my peace of mind

Grip on to the...

beware the thought that rocks that peace
of mind

(Knock Knock Knock)

those feelings away

Dreamin' Demons

Its not so bad
to feel those voices
push through

Sinking deeply into that
hole of destruction
pulling to be free of
those taunting whispers

Don't want to be ready
to jump off into the
deep blue Nothing.

Silent pleas
come from my
shackled
crys

Softly tormented
by the wings of
the bird that sores
above my eyes

To see through his eyes
to feel the wind
brushing through each
voluminous feather
(Just for the one moment of obsolete bliss)

don't want to drag you down
the first time
don't want to feel
you
no need to suffocate you

thin spirits
with temporary
arms
to hold me up
broken
words
broken promises
Fill the air around
here.

Pull me home
bring me back
Make me feel no
more

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

1 posted 2000-11-10 03:01 AM

Got the feeling of being bounced around quite a bit in this one. I'm not real sure how to deal with that.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2000-11-10 09:16 AM

thin spirits
with temporary
arms
to hold me up
broken
words
broken promises
Fill the air around
here.

Pull me home
bring me back
Make me feel no
more

yes, yes, yes...I felt this {{huggzz}}

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2000-11-11 07:47 PM

I agree with Masked Intruder...bounced around...but I like that, and I think it's what it was supposed to do for the reader...convey an element of the thought process, and the feeling process...it's great!

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