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Open Poetry #10
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Jeffrey Carter
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since 2000-04-08
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State of constant confusion!

0 posted 2000-11-07 07:39 AM



When I think of all the times we've shared
The trips we've made wind in our hair
I just can't help but long for one more day

When I look back on the love you gave
Long nights and memories we made
I just can't help but long for one more day

When I see the stears up in the sky
It reminds of those in your eyes
And I just can't help but long for one more day

When I hear you say you love me too
Makes me happy when I'm feeling blue
No, I just can't help but long for one more day

*********************************************

The inspiration for this comes from a real life desperate longing, though the words were inspired by the Diamond Rio song "One MOre Day"

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with you

One more day, one more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day with you

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone and leave the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do with one more day with you



© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved
compassion
Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135
USA
1 posted 2000-11-07 07:45 AM


Jeff Jeff Jeff,

Going to try to get us a agent SOON!!  Huh, huh! This is fine.  

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2000-11-07 09:44 AM


This does have a nice melody,  

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



djsyours
Junior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 16

3 posted 2000-11-07 07:16 PM


Jeff
      great writing  hope to see more  

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2000-11-08 09:48 PM



Jeffrey-
   a beautiful and loving write.  
   i like it much.  

   -vicky




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
5 posted 2000-11-08 09:52 PM


Jeffrey-What a pleasant and longing wish, very nicely done.
poetic_imperfection
Junior Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 45

6 posted 2000-11-08 10:04 PM


Jeff,
With these kind of words, how could you ever long for one more day?  Great writing and I hope that longing becomes a settled dream.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2000-11-08 10:08 PM


You've really got the yearning mood set up well in this piece Jeffery and it would make a great song in itself with the right music.......great stuff I really like it!
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2000-11-08 10:09 PM


Sigh ... so much desire and longing wrapped up in this beautiful poem Jeffrey, lovely sentiments!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jeffrey Carter
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since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
9 posted 2000-11-09 12:38 PM


One more day
One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again...

If you all only knew how very well these words describe the way I'm feeling...

One more day....just one more time *big sigh*

thank you all for the wonderful replies

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