navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » Incoherent - From OP#2 - 'Cause it feels like it...
Open Poetry #10
Post A Reply Post New Topic Incoherent - From OP#2 - 'Cause it feels like it... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-11-05 03:47 AM



Like the kiss of
death,
rain falls

d
-r
--i
-p
---p
--i
----n
-g


on my heart

Fragile,
pale, hopeless.
Still, lifeless, empty.

bitter songs...
empty air...
timeless ache...

No hope.

With the
darkness,
comes confirmation.
With the
light,
comes pain.

with the onslaught,
of awareness,
comes...

not you...

I
am

alone.



© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2000-11-05 03:49 AM


this one gave me an interactive affectiveness that i
                     l
                     o
                     v
                     e
                     d
yuh very good meaning here me thinks i do    

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 11-05-2000).]

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2000-11-05 05:53 AM



OOOOoooo Ouch....*sniff*  

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
3 posted 2000-11-05 06:32 AM


Wow! From begining to end I loved this. Such feeling you have expressed here!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2000-11-05 07:34 AM


Wonderful Christopher...
I love the  format


I wrote this "On Being Alone"...how I will feel on Thanksgiving Day.

It's Raining Today

On a day to be thankful,
a day to show caring,
to be blessed with a family
and good friends and sharing.
But one day alone,
can't change what the others bring out,
the sadness of living
with feelings of doubt.
Each morning awakened,
I tell myself true
this is my start,
a fresh day, a "new".
But by nightfall it darkens,
my thoughts turn to black.
Must again dream my dreams
holding tightly, what I lack...

~Wynter Bliss



"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2000-11-05 07:53 AM


warm rain kisses are needed here!  

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-11-05 08:12 AM


With the darkness,
comes confirmation.
With the light,
comes pain.

How true, how true
The aching of being alone

Well done, but I hope it's not true

Liz


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2000-11-05 09:02 AM


I would never
intentionally cause pain...



but would rather provide
comforting warmth...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
8 posted 2000-11-05 11:35 AM


Perfectly formatted to draw out the pain as it is done in real life. This is like a living poem...well done my friend.  
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

9 posted 2000-11-05 11:38 AM


Nicely done...very visual. I like it, I like it a lot...now do one with just pictures, no words.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox


Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

10 posted 2000-11-05 11:52 AM


loved it Christopher..we should here from you more often..

              ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
11 posted 2000-11-05 11:57 AM


The format adds to the imagery of the poem, but takes attention away from the words, which are very good themselves. A very thoughtful piece C    


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

12 posted 2000-11-05 11:58 AM


~C,...can't tell you how many times I've read this. Your words, are present, they're here, in the air of my mind. Dripping. Emotionally gripping write. *Peace you, always.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
13 posted 2000-11-05 06:56 PM


walt - interesting - never considered the interactive quality before - cool! thankks!

Holly - Hey, smile now!  

Eagle One - Thanks - sometimes the darkness tides over, eh?

Wynter - Yeh - sometimes the holidays are the worst, huh? Great poem!

Kathleen - Yeah - well no warm rain in sight!   Thanks lady.

Liz - True for the moment... usually takes me a while to pull out of it - 'til then your comments keep me warm.

Kari - You do lady, you do!  

Sharon - Thanks you - a *wink* and a *hug*

Ron - Now that is an interesting challenge - will have to think about that! LOL

Victoria -   Thanks - and who knows - it varies from day to day!

Jamie - Thanks - I don't know - colors can add so much... to me they are a poem in themselves sometimes - always intentional. Thank you.

A - *Peace* in return - & - hugzzz

Chris

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » Incoherent - From OP#2 - 'Cause it feels like it...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary