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Open Poetry #10
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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 2000-11-04 09:09 PM


I am spring-worn
I have pried apart the seeds
of dandelions
grasping for the hope therein
I have scented jasmine:
wind of a sparrow’s rush
I have stood on the brink
of a season’s turn

in vertigo
and
it is there that hydrangeas pant
and there the tea tree cricket-hums

but the spring rain
drew me in
with its not-quite-cold lick
at the back of my neck

I witness now the shallows
they wane in the night
pools
which evaporate, pools like eyes in deceit

The spring cusp shudders
I have seen the denial in an evening
of cloud
I have watched as close stars blink
through the gaps

yes, I faltered on the edge
of a season-turn

vertigoed
and
it is there that leaves spread the sun
and there the mountain wavers – hazed

but the spring light
held me in
with the hurt and the hunt
of the moon on my hair

the spring light
hovered
and I spoke

‘I am tired’



The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-11-04 09:17 PM


Funny thing, K---just read the title and thought, "I'm tired too..." so needless to say, the last line floored me a bit.  The title reminded me of a stretched spring, unable to bounce back....I feel that way too.

HUGS

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-11-04 09:19 PM


I feel the heavy sigh of the wind in this poem. I understand.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-11-04 09:21 PM


Kamla, this is so sad...I can relate to the feeling and I don't believe what they say about mustard seeds, either....
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

4 posted 2000-11-04 09:22 PM


This is just so mesmerizing I'm without words.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2000-11-04 09:59 PM


And I feel the sigh of your breath soul-sis
these are beautifully written thoughts and feelings, although sad sweet butterfly.
*hugs*

Maree


"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-11-04 10:01 PM


This is excellent writing, Kamla. So nice to see you again.

Denise

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
7 posted 2000-11-04 10:19 PM


Though time may be hanging heavy on your shoulders right now--poems like this will help to lighten the load... very well done Kamla....and very thoughtful


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

8 posted 2000-11-04 10:26 PM


wonderful writing indeed...loved it..

              ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2000-11-04 10:31 PM


ahhhhh me fellow butterfly ...
it is always worth the wait ...
to have a post from you to let me eyes dance upon...
your just so good at this descriptive style of emotive poetry
i feel your every ache ..
excellent as always Kam...
my only complaint...
why ya make me wait sooo long  
later-butterfly-sharer-gator
jm

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2000-11-05 06:05 AM


Hey K...hugs. It's prolly just a pisces thang...lol. Sigh...unable to bounce back hey? Oh no...I can. Bouncing back is a skill I learned a long time ago. Sometimes, there is no spring in the bounce, that's all. (If I can do it you can too... ) Thanks you...

Sharon - thankyou. A lot. Hugs from me.

Dear 'deer - hmmmmm...mustard seeds? Um, what do they say exactly...? LOL... (and of course I have to ask - who is they?) Thanks my friend.

Ron - and that is an awesome compliment thankyou Sir.  

Mmy - wish you were here right now hon. Hugs.
Thanks.

Denise - and you! We need to run into each other more lol...

Jamie - that is so true...though busyness keeps me away somewhat...(mind you that can help with heavy and heavy's too...) Thankyou...  

Victoria - nice to see you in here lol! Thanks muchly...

Fellow butterfly sharer - hey you...nice to your slippers again...   LOL...blame the wait on studying and life hey? To be in demand is...well...wow! Thanks hon...

K




The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2000-11-05 08:21 AM


Wonderful is all I have to say about you and your thoughts and your words. You always live up to my expectations of tenderness, whispery phrases, exquisite expression, lightness of verse but deepness of thought.
In admiration
Liz

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2000-11-05 09:57 AM


Kamla~
Good to see you !
Take care and put a little spring in your step !
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
13 posted 2000-11-05 01:56 PM


the wind, although heavy, is what carries us. . .

wonderful poem. . .  

--------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2000-11-05 03:02 PM


Darling, I just had to read you again....

I witness now the shallows
they wane in the night
pools
which evaporate, pools like eyes in deceit

This poem deserves to be on page one, bumping you back up again hon.  

Maree


"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

15 posted 2000-11-05 03:23 PM


~Severn,...I could have read your words for hours to come. Wonderfully expressed,...so beautiful what I could see while reading,... the weight is there but your descriptions are lovely,...this piece is striking. Take care now. *Peace.
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
16 posted 2000-11-05 04:33 PM


wot M said .....lol  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2000-11-05 04:51 PM


O little K...I so know the feeling, and I will be ornery and say "it will get better"...because that's how I'm made...

Hugs, little one...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
18 posted 2000-11-05 04:51 PM


ok just kiddin'......

seriously, perhaps you've been standing on the brink of a turning Spring for far too long LK - this extended metaphor was quite well done i thought with some nice imagery - but if summer isn't going to come to you then you must step into summer ...

later

SP

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
19 posted 2000-11-05 05:22 PM


Kamla--It's been so long since I've been oxygen deprived...I almost had forgotton how your poetry leaves me breathless...this is exquisite, dear one...and you are extraordinary!!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

20 posted 2000-11-06 06:06 AM


Lizzy - deeply deeply moved by your response. Wow. Thankyou. I don't know what to say. Honestly! Hugs.

Margey - that is my aim indeed...   Hugs and thanks.

Sven - you may be right - it carries us through change, through experience, through lessons. Thankyou    

Mmy - ~blush~ thanks dear

Spitfire - thankyou. I appreciate the depth of your comment. It was with a heavy heart I wrote this one, and that that has been communicated means a lot.

K - sigh. Thankyou...sigh again. I know it will - it already is in some ways. Hugs in return.

SP - my dear friend. Your words are utterly correct. When you stand there too long (just to continue this little metaphor) you are either repelled, or fall. Time to get over into summer, hey? Big LK hugs... (you know you rock right?)

Martie - wow....as with Lizzy I just can't think of what to say. A sincere thankyou maybe? Oh - and a hug of course...

K

< !signature-->

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S




[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-06-2000).]

Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
21 posted 2000-11-08 09:44 AM


but the spring light
held me in
with the hurt and the hunt
of the moon on my hair


Shall I choose overused words to spell my liking of this piece? (smiling)
To me, your words churn with a sense of urgent expectancy, fading as the seasons.

Robert Joseph




wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
22 posted 2000-11-08 11:44 AM


i like it all and i didnt read all the rest of the poets blatherings wait i didnt read your blatherings either   no it was real good i like the toungue licking the neck thing that was sooooo cool yuh rain i feel fine shine the weathers fine yuh yuh
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

23 posted 2000-11-08 01:47 PM


As a nature lover and a gardner this is one of the most glorious pieces of poetry I've read in a long time.  Thank you for sharing this with us. Sad?  Yes, but oh, the joy that comes in the harvest.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

24 posted 2000-11-08 05:26 PM


Robert - smiling back..hehe...I believe I have received a friglog...  

Your assessment pretty much sums it up yes...it is also about the desire of wanting to move on. But being held back in spring, not quite able to cross over the line into a freeing summer.

Thankyou very much for replying, Robert.

Walty - Why, I never read all your blatherings, as you frustratingly know heh.   Yup - rain and shine, juxtaposed...glad you liked the neck thing my friend. Ta muchly for your reply...

Irish - really? Glorious (reminds me of a garden in full bloom of course) is a lovely word! And I agree...the harvest hasn't quite been brought in yet, but it will, it will. Thanks hon!

K

< !signature-->

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S


[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-08-2000).]

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