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Passions in Poetry

Too Shy To Try ... Poet D's challenge

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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


0 posted 11-02-2000 11:31 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Janet Marie

for Poet Divines challenge to write from the perspective of the opposite sex...
inspired by and written for my younger brother who
lives with this struggle ...
we have had many conversations about how the burden of the "first move" is sometimes too hard for some men ...
For Andy ... with love and understanding


I watch her from across the room ... here at work each and every day,
I wonder if she notices me ... should I talk to her ... what would I even say.
Sometimes she smiles at me ... as she passes by,
does she know she takes my breath away ... can she hear my heart sigh.
Does she even begin to realize ... the way she sets my soul on fire,
would she be taken back ... by the depth of my desire.

I watch her while she works ... watch her toss back her silken hair.
I smell her sweet perfume ... her essence lingers in the air.
And I wonder if she knows ... that I am just so damn shy,
I wish the first move ... wasn't always left up to the guy.
It takes so much effort ... to work up the nerve to ask a simple question
and it's even harder still ... to handle the cold reality of a woman's rejection.

So I sit here day after day ... and suffer in the silence of my attraction,
and I settle for sending subtle hints ... hoping for some kind of reaction.
If only I were able to tell her ... instead of worshiping her from afar,
if only I were a poet ... I'd write her a sonnet and tell her she's my shining star.
But I'm no poet ... I've no verse or rhyme ... no magic poets pen...
I sit here watching the world pass me by ... too shy to speak ... alone once again.

Janet Marie


thanks to Sharon for the inspiration of her challenge


© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 11-02-2000 11:35 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This is sweet...I love shy guys! Now he can send her this one!  hint-hint-hint

Geez, I think I'm starting to love yer whole family!  Great job, JM.  love ya lots.
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


2 posted 11-02-2000 11:49 PM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

Great poem JM you have captured the essense of it so acuratly.
Rich
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


3 posted 11-02-2000 11:53 PM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci


JANET, you never cease to amaze me you're soooooooooo good hun   a superb write!

Coco
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


4 posted 11-03-2000 12:11 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

you're so close it's scary....kid!! You captured the mood very very well!! Like this old one.............

You give your hand to me
and then you say hello
well I can hardly speak
my heart is beating so
and anyone can tell
you think you know me well
but you don't know me.

No you don't know the one
who dreams of you each night
who longs to kiss your lips
who longs to hold you tight
to you I'm just a friend
and that's all I've ever been
cause you don't know me.

Well I never knew the art of makin love
though my heart ached with love for you,
afraid and shy I watched my chance slip by
the chance you might have loved me too....

You give you hand to me
and then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
oh with that lucky guy
to never never know
the guy who loves you so
cause you don't know me.

Martie
Moderator
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


5 posted 11-03-2000 12:31 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Janet--I have always been on the shy side of bold..I know just how it feels and this is it.  Great Poem!
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


6 posted 11-03-2000 02:03 AM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

absolutely brilliant! i think this is an awesome challenge, and you have met it well.

you know i just got a job, and i think one of the girls there is a hottie, and so once again you're snapping shots of my life! weird indeed.

it really feel like that, you know... the not wanting to make the first move. wow, you ARE good.
-----
and it's even harder still ... to handle the cold reality of a woman's rejection.

So I sit here day after day ... and suffer in the silence of my attraction,
and I settle for sending subtle hints ... hoping for some kind of reaction.
If only I were able to tell her ... instead of worshiping her from afar,
-----

sorry bout my abscence. like i said, i got a job! i'm a waiter!
much love to ya. hope all is well. glad to see your writing is still at that level where it's new, yet able to be realted to easily, not repetitive, and amazing every time.
E

I am reminded of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 03-07-2000
Posts 2858
Between a laugh and a tear...


7 posted 11-03-2000 04:52 AM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

Wow Janet! This is a fabulous piece, your insight is indeed scary.

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


8 posted 11-03-2000 05:06 AM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Fabulous insight, fabulous poem.
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


9 posted 11-03-2000 06:35 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Hey Janny this is so beautifully written, yes some guys are too shy to make the first move and rely on the woman....feel for him.
I agree with serenity maybe he should give this to her  
You've a beautiful heart sweetie
Love Tracie


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


10 posted 11-03-2000 07:53 AM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

Hmmmm...your insight into the shy man's
world...you wrote the soul of him though...
I guess shy has never been one of my strong
points...maybe I should work on it  
naahhhhh the flame is much to nice to not
dance in it    Love ya girlie..this is a
new side of your poetry and me likes it SS~
snowpants
Member Elite
since 09-16-2000
Posts 2086
KS


11 posted 11-03-2000 08:01 AM       View Profile for snowpants   Email snowpants   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit snowpants's Home Page   View IP for snowpants

Hey JM!  Great poem!  Very sweet and romantic!  Good job.  Love it!!

sp  


Do not go where the path may lead, but instead, go where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 10-24-2000
Posts 937


12 posted 11-03-2000 08:10 AM       View Profile for Ron K. Fox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ron K. Fox

You have it down to a tee...I can remember these feelings so clearly...I guess we all feel the same...and maybe thats what we all have to realize

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox

Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


13 posted 11-03-2000 08:59 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

JM,
You have the insight and wrote it right.
Excellent. Sy
Aimster
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since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


14 posted 11-03-2000 09:47 AM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

JM--

I AM right...you CAN write just
about any type of poetry and very
wonderfully I might add. i'm not guy
but from what i've heard you wrote
their feelings very accurately! great
poem!! take care my friend.

love ya,
Amy  

"The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences"

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


15 posted 11-03-2000 09:54 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Janet~ You are amazing.......this reminds me of my brother too......he was always so shy.....always so afraid of the rejection.....really enjoyed this!   -SEA
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


16 posted 11-03-2000 10:40 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Wonderful!!! While we write these, perhaps we will gain some understanding of what the opposite sex has to deal with in life!! Very good JM.    
Wilfred Yeats
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since 08-04-2000
Posts 2916
Wilmington, Delaware


17 posted 11-03-2000 11:14 AM       View Profile for Wilfred Yeats   Email Wilfred Yeats   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Wilfred Yeats's Home Page   View IP for Wilfred Yeats

I don't know why - but I've never been shy - at least not that I can remember - but I've seen and heard it and know it's real - Thus I say this rings true - beautifully and sensitively expressed
The Lonely Stranger
Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 367
Upstate, NY, USA


18 posted 11-03-2000 11:22 AM       View Profile for The Lonely Stranger   Email The Lonely Stranger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lonely Stranger

Janet Marie,
     Of all the words in all of the dictionaries in the world, only one word adequately sums up what you've done here ... "BULLSEYE !!" If we go on the assumption that I am a poet, tell your brother that it doesn't come any easier for a poet.

TLS
compassion
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since 11-01-2000
Posts 136
USA


19 posted 11-03-2000 01:58 PM       View Profile for compassion   Email compassion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for compassion

Janet, Awesome write!!   Ya da man!!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


20 posted 11-03-2000 02:12 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Sweet write for your brother..I used to be shy in high school..but when I got out on the street I went the other extreme...got tired of missing so many opportunities.  I was hanging around with some of the masters...like James Jones...Gods gift to girls...thats the answer..hang out with an extrovert...Learned to just look em in the eye and say Hi...simple friendly conversation is all it takes..it still works best for me if the woman shows some interest in me...rejection is a mean animal...but I rejected my share...this is life...what can they say except yes, no, or maybe...James
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


21 posted 11-03-2000 03:16 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

This piece is great Janet...you've totally summed up how a young man feels inside...I know that I can relate...this is just brilliant work Janet and this is what makes  a great poet...the ability to write from the perspective of anything besides yourself....I know that I can relate that..I've wrote a poem about life from a dollar bill's perspective...it's very deep...I may post it someday.....anyways, great work and have a great day!

Nathan
BloomingRose
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since 08-09-2000
Posts 3124
Florida


22 posted 11-03-2000 03:21 PM       View Profile for BloomingRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BloomingRose

Jan~ So many can relate to this. It's a really good poem.
Deb
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


23 posted 11-03-2000 06:03 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Im a bit overwhelmed by these replies..
thank you so much guys...
it seems no matter what I write about..
you always embrace it, and encourage me ..
and I love ya all for that...more than I can say here...
to the guys who replied and say you know how this is Im sorry..
I see how hard it is for my brother...

Ethome...thank you for the song  
Nate ... thank you for that amazing reply
Lonely Stranger ... thank you for the generous reply and sharing...
Im sorry you relate so well...
let your poetry speak for you...
thank YOU ALL for the kind words
love ya in poetry land
jm

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 09-30-2000
Posts 6029
lost in blue pages


24 posted 11-03-2000 06:21 PM       View Profile for Charisma   Email Charisma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Charisma's Home Page   View IP for Charisma

*wow*....you have penned an excellent piece....with words so true...
really enjoyed reading it.

Charisma
 
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