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Open Poetry #10
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Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

0 posted 2000-11-02 05:14 PM


I actually kind of stole the title from an old poetry book because I love the poem and I wanted to make my own version of it...enjoy!

Baby, I'm crystal clear,
like crystal chandelieres
so look at me and see,
what or who you want to be
because, if you have any problems,
I'm here to solve them.
If you're feeling insecure about our love,
then I'll be, all the currents in the sea,
to wash away all your doubts of me
as I'll be your sunshine and rain,
and all of the happiness,
that will wash away, all your pain.
If you want to put our love to an end,
I promise that I'll still love you,
and still call you my friend
but if you truly wish to stay with me,
then I'll be, your lock and key.
If you're angry with me,
I'll be, the smile that makes you happy.
If you're feeling lonely tonight,
I'll be the image on the other side,
that will accompany you tonight.
If you think that you're ugly,
I'll shine a light on your insides,
and make you see, that you're pretty.
Whatever the case maybe,
I can make it better
because I'm your mirror,
and I want our love, to reflect forever.

© Copyright 2000 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
1 posted 2000-11-02 05:22 PM


Wow...this is spectacular...not sure what
the original poem was but it certainly
inspired a beautiful piece of work from
you...I was going to pick my favorite
lines...but there is just no way to narrow
it down...and the ending left a lasting and
perfect vision.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-11-02 05:32 PM


Nate this is really good..so important to be their with a positive influence for the one we care for.  James
Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
3 posted 2000-11-02 05:42 PM


This is great!  More than shining a little light on the subject, I want to reflect the positive in people too.  Very fortunate is the person who has a mirror like this one...  Bob <><
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
4 posted 2000-11-02 05:50 PM


Wow, thank all three of you for responding to my poem...I knew the poem was good but I dindn't expect these great responses I've recieved though...and the original poem and mine well, the only similarities we share, is our titles...you can believe that because, I wouldn't plagerize someone else's work especially when I wanna brag and take full credit of something I wrote.....I'm all about originality these days and you can believe that!(smiles) Thanks for your comments and have a wonderful day!

Nathan

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-11-02 10:43 PM


Nate, my friend~
Everything you write has
the definite signature of originality on it !

You are uniquely you and this is wonderful !
Love ya'
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-11-02 11:38 PM


Baby, I'm crystal clear,
like crystal chandelieres
so look at me and see,
what or who you want to be
because, if you have any problems,
I'm here to solve them.
If you're feeling insecure about our love,
then I'll be, all the currents in the sea,
to wash away all your doubts of me
as I'll be your sunshine and rain,
and all of the happiness,
that will wash away, all your pain.
If you want to put our love to an end,
I promise that I'll still love you,
and still call you my friend
==================

Nate...this is a very cool poem...
very sincere and sweet too..
great use of metaphors and rhyme ...
love the imagery of the chandeliers
excellent work from your poets pen
take care
jm

Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
7 posted 2000-11-03 02:09 AM


i am impressed!
i like the flow and rhythm of this SO much. it's absolutely COOL. the theme you've borrowed is an awesome one and i like the spin you've given it. it's a very enchanting theme, the mirrors and all.
i just dig this one. good stuff.

I am reminded of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
8 posted 2000-11-03 03:26 PM


Wow, another set of great posts I've recieved here...thank you Marge for knowing about my originality...I love ya too....Thank you Janet for your faboulous post and the excellency...Thank you for being enchanted and thanks for responding!

Nathan

azure
Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 52

9 posted 2000-11-03 03:42 PM


Wow, you have no idea how this poem touched me.  What a beautiful declaration of unconditional love... just what I needed to hear today, to know feelings like this are out there.  Amazing.

Azure
"I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much" - Sandra Cisneros

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
10 posted 2000-11-03 04:09 PM


Nate, that was so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm gonna cry b/c I've never really read anything that sweet b4.


Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
11 posted 2000-11-04 10:43 AM


Thank you for your sweet comments, Allysa!

Nathan

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 2000-11-04 10:24 PM


This is great, Nate! You just keep getting better and better! Actually you can't steal a title...they aren't covered by copyright, so they are free for the taking! Love your poem!

Denise

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
13 posted 2000-11-06 12:57 PM


Nathan...love the whole poem but I especially like this line... but if you truly wish to stay with me,
then I'll be, your lock and key.

I like the permanance this suggests...great write

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
14 posted 2000-11-06 03:36 PM


Thank you Denise..you're very right, I am getting better and better and it's kinda scary cause I'm still young and I'm still developing and harnessing my craft...great observation and thanks for your comments!
Thank you Paula, for your fabulous comments!

And to anyone who hasn't posted, post please cause this poem deserves to be read and put to the top of the board! (smiles)

Nathan

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