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Open Poetry #10
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-11-01 03:08 PM


my simple heart
my gift to you
asking nothing in return

again again
I made amends
again again I felt the burn

dancing too close to the fire
entranced by just a single spark...
tonight I kick the stones away
a bellow's laughter taking dark.

what a fool to think that one
simple coal could warm my blood
I dare a torch of mighty flare
I dare to wish the done, undone...

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 2000-11-01 03:14 PM


Sad and powerful. We often wish to undo what has already been done.

Elizabeth


You cling to your ways and leave mine to me.
Suum cuique.
~Elizabeth



Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2000-11-01 03:17 PM


Ah yes....
Dancing to close to the fire, and how easy it is to get burned! What a great poem this is in meaning and form....I loved it, and I am going back for seconds!!


Follow your dream!


SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2000-11-01 03:50 PM


Serenity~ I still have scars from dancing too close to a fire of my long ago......they hurt... Your words are perfect!   -SEA
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-11-01 06:20 PM


again again
I made amends
again again I felt the burn

dancing too close to the fire
entranced by just a single spark...
tonight I kick the stones away
a bellow's laughter taking dark.

what a fool to think that one
simple coal could warm my blood
I dare a torch of mighty flare
I dare to wish the done, undone...
====================
so your pulling out the EXTRA STRENGTH MIRRORS for me now huh?  
jeeeze baby....why dont ya just call this the moth anthem...
*sigh* ...
Im still trying to figure out if its matter of coming undone ...
or my own undoing...yeah yeah ...
YOU KNOW ...that I KNOW....yadda yadda...
I hear avon has a sale on singe proof mascara and chapstick  
Ya just need to be kissed for this one...
love ya
me



Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
5 posted 2000-11-01 06:28 PM


Serenity, burns doesn't it, and it hurts like hell. Still there's one consolation I'll never play with that fire again. This is such a well written poem I really love this.
Take care
              Mushy Marsha
                          


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2000-11-01 06:30 PM


Serenity, would a bonfire do? I could burn Atlanta! Name it! I've got lots of matches  
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
7 posted 2000-11-01 06:55 PM


Spectacular poem! God, do I know this feeling. You spoke this so well.
Sandra

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2000-11-01 07:01 PM


Hey Serenity how are ya!! This one's powerful and honest with a flavor of anger under the hurt...Great writing girl I just loved it!!
Take care.......ethome

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2000-11-01 07:11 PM


I love the way you write..honest..bare bones....just tell it like it is! This is excellent!  
Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
10 posted 2000-11-01 07:15 PM


think we can all relate on this one, you translate your feelings very well.

((hugs))
Charisma

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2000-11-01 07:32 PM


whoa...you guys are GREAT...wish I had time to thank each one of you...and I will...sorry for being a pop-in...

Thank you all...and catch ya later...

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
12 posted 2000-11-01 07:41 PM


Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love.  
Rich

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
13 posted 2000-11-01 07:42 PM


Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love.  
Rich

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
14 posted 2000-11-01 07:42 PM


Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love.  
Rich

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
15 posted 2000-11-01 07:55 PM


Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love.  
Rich

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2000-11-02 01:26 AM


Thank you so much, Rich.

as always, it means much to me.  And when you're right, I'm right.  I am definitely learning.

[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 11-02-2000).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
17 posted 2000-11-03 05:09 PM


Serenity,
I saw this before and thought I responded, oh well now 's as good a time as any. I loved this. It had so much feeling and passion with just the tiniest touch of regret. ecxcellent write
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

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